Couch 166: The Un-hex-hexed Couch

Aargh...that's not even a remotely helpful response. I'm sorry.

The need to cut grass has begun.

And sometimes when I get up, get my coffee and start reading my usual morning fare, I think
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

I didn't want to be home because I knew it would have triggered my anxiety.

Ho hum.I left early because I knew it would make me anxious- having people I didn't know around.

I love the smell of freshly cut grass.

To me, now that I use an electric or push mower (depending on how much rain and how high grass is before I can cut) the cut grass does not smell as good as when I used the gas mower.

This gives me anxiety, too, so I get it. If someone is coming to do work in the house (like fix furnace, etc.), I always ask H to work from home that day. When I lived by myself, I tended to leave if I thought they'd be coming.

Though once, when living alone in an apartment, they really freaked me out. I assume they'd come in to check on potential gas leak while I was out, but didn't leave note or anything. I walked in to find stuff that had been on my stove (a pan, etc.) sitting on my dining room table. So I worried there was someone in the apartment and nearly called 911 (think I called my mom instead, for whatever reason).

It was really wrong of them to steal things...I'd report it.

Morning couch! I'm feeling all accomplished already this morning. I've already vacuumed the house, mopped the kitchen floor and put in a load of laundry. Oh, and uncluttered my side of the bedroom. (note: I usually don't 'see' clutter; a fact that drives my h crazy. This morning my head feels so clear of its usual constant obsessing, it's quite like my brain actually has space now to process more of what my eyes see! imagine that. This is a new development since my t session on 4/26.)

Just ate breakfast, scrambled eggs with diced tomatoes and a little sprinkle of white cheddar cheese. Yum!

I watched several more episodes of Riverdale on Netflix last night, I'm totally hooked!

H will be home at some point later this afternoon from his long-distance-job-turned-mini-vacation. It was nice having the house to myself last night, as my son only popped in long enough to shower and grab his bass and then he was off again to spend the night at a friend's house. Supposed to be really hot this weekend (up to 107 F tomorrow!) so will probably go outside only to go to the pool during the day anyway! It's a stay-inside kinda weekend.

Art, I loved Riverdale season 1 last summer—is season 2 on Netflix yet?

I get that...I'm frustrated that she didn't.

Nope, I see only season 1.

Saturday chore report - took me an hour to wash the week's dishes - three cups, spoons, water bottles, knives, and measuring cups. My mother was right - i AM slow! But i watched a fun Gunsmoke - Festus played a dual role! Now Barnaby Jones guest-starring Captain Kirk!

The mills of unaluna grind slow, but they grind exceeding fine.

ETA: Kettle Corn Oreos are surprisingly good—think slightly-burned-tasting vanilla Oreos.

You were thinking big thoughts!

Una doesn’t think big thoughts, she thinks the bigliest thoughts.

Went grocery shopping. Now I've got a pot of spaghetti cooking, then will make my weekly batch of red lentil chili. And maybe cook a pork loin roast, potatoes and green beans too, if I get extra ambitious. There's gonna be yummy eatins in my house this week.

Exhankster embiggens us all

Absolutely.

I asked my therapist to call me and now I fell embarrassed that I did so. He's going to call me soon.

Lentils are cooking now. Also, I must say I love cooking spaghetti in my instant pot. It's a one-pot deal and you don't even have to strain the pasta! eta: i probably never would have spent the money on one of these for myself. so i'm double-enjoying my gifted one.

I'm so tired *curls up on the couch* anyone want to join me?

I should have got to sleep a lot earlier last night but I wasn't doing well at all ........

I like my electric mower but when the grass gets this high from all the rain (so wet/growing but too wet to mow/wet/ to wet to mow etc) I have to stop and charge the batteries back up to get the whole yard and my neighbor's (he hurt his back) yard. The problem with that is that I have to stay sticky until it recharges, then I can finish, and then go shower. (Unlike some people who have posted their cavalier attitude towards bathing - I shower more than once a week)

Oops - ya caught me eatin biscotti again, embiggening myself!

Eta - Good mowers make good neighbors!

Eta2 - artie that linguini looks delish!

If I'm still online in half an hour, someone please tell me very firmly to go to bed for real? ty

I didnt do anything today. Ill just pull another early day tomorrow like I did last Sunday. Ill wake up at 4am and get it all done. I also have a woman coming on Monday to give me an estimate on how much it will be to deep clean my home 1 time. If its a good estimate, I’ll hire her to do it. I try to treat myself to a cleaning person once a year in the spring.

Today I'm hating therapy. It feels like I've been emotionally manipulated into going to this DBT program, especially after I agreed to go. He's thanked me for going, admitted he's anxious and worries about me and thinks about me. I hesitate to even say that because I know you guys are going to say he probably shouldn't have told me that. But he did. On the one hand, it made me feel cared for, but on the other hand I feel like a burden. He says I'm not and that he agrees to take on the burden of his clients. So now, I feel like I can either go to this program or don't go. He told me on the phone that if I didn't go we would have to continue to talk about me going in session. I can't see a path that feels authentic to me. I need his support and help still. I'm so frustrated right now it's unbelievable.