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View Poll Results: Have you ever had parental transference with T?
Yes, with current T 25 39.06%
Yes, with current T
25 39.06%
Yes, with former T 10 15.63%
Yes, with former T
10 15.63%
Yes, with current and former Ts 14 21.88%
Yes, with current and former Ts
14 21.88%
No, never 15 23.44%
No, never
15 23.44%
Voters: 64. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old May 06, 2018, 06:53 PM
MRT6211 MRT6211 is offline
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I know I struggle with maternal transference with my T. And by that, I mean that sometimes I see her like my mom/a maternal figure. Probably because she is giving me the support and really parenting that I needed at a young age and never got.

I’d love to hear other peoples’ experiences with parental transference.

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  #2  
Old May 06, 2018, 07:06 PM
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MoxieDoxie MoxieDoxie is offline
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Yes my former T, whether he realized it or not, re-parented me and it healed many dysfunctional aspects of me.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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  #3  
Old May 06, 2018, 07:26 PM
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Yes with my current T, sort of. I have never seen T as a mother figure but more as an aunt. Growing up I had two great aunts who were an important part of my life. They gave me a lot of unconditional support and guidance. That is how I see T.
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  #4  
Old May 06, 2018, 07:42 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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No - my parents were not as crazy or inconsistent as I find therapists to be
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  #5  
Old May 06, 2018, 07:56 PM
GeekyOne GeekyOne is offline
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Yes, with current T. It's driving me crazy. One part of me really wants her to mother me. Another part of me says that's ridiculous and I should flee. Yet another part is very intellectual about it all and says transference is good (haven't had it with previous Ts) and bodes well for the therapy as long as T maintains appropriate boundaries (which she seems to be).
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  #6  
Old May 06, 2018, 08:40 PM
healinginprogress healinginprogress is offline
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Yes. Although I think she sparked the idea originally. I think she started experiencing some counter-transference before I had maternal transference. It does seem a little odd to me because she's not that much older than me, but that doesn't really matter from what I've read.
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  #7  
Old May 06, 2018, 08:51 PM
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Nope. No parental type feelings at all with mine
  #8  
Old May 06, 2018, 11:29 PM
MRT6211 MRT6211 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeekyOne View Post
Yes, with current T. It's driving me crazy. One part of me really wants her to mother me. Another part of me says that's ridiculous and I should flee. Yet another part is very intellectual about it all and says transference is good (haven't had it with previous Ts) and bodes well for the therapy as long as T maintains appropriate boundaries (which she seems to be).
Yes, exactly, I am right with you there. I want her to take care of me like I’m her child and to be there for support, but I’m also terrified of this feeling. It feels wrong to have it and I’m scared I’m going to get overly dependent on her and then she’s going to leave me. It feels almost like transference is wrong, because I’m supposed to be learning how to be independent and regulate my emotions on my own, but I want to be dependent on her and for her to protect me all of the time.

She’s taking a long weekend right now, had Friday off and has Monday off. Somehow this has been really hard for me. It scares me that it’s that hard for me.
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  #9  
Old May 06, 2018, 11:30 PM
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annielovesbacon annielovesbacon is offline
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No, because both my former and current therapists are only about 10 years older than me, I have I guess a "friendship" or "mentor" type transference. I've had maternal transference with teachers in the past, so I'm willing to bet that a therapist closer in age to my parents would evoke parental transference in me considering problems I've had with my parents (especially my mom).
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  #10  
Old May 07, 2018, 05:33 AM
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yes, intensely. we discuss it though
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  #11  
Old May 07, 2018, 06:27 AM
Echos Myron redux Echos Myron redux is offline
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Yes. Mostly maternal even though they were both male Ts.
  #12  
Old May 07, 2018, 06:37 AM
weaverbeaver weaverbeaver is offline
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Yes, I have very strong maternal transference for my t. At first I thought it was a crush, more like erotic transference but then I realised its more maternal.
T and I have never discussed thiS about her but we did discuss it about another t I had whom I had a very strong erotic transference for.
Sometimes I think my t feels safer when it’s about other people and if I told her about my really strong desires she would freak out.
I have talked about my attachment to her a lot and how sometimes when I ring her, there is no one else I can ring and she doesn’t mind, she is always glad I reached out to her.
I imagine what it would be like if t was my mom and we could go shopping together and for lunch and on holidays- all the things I never did with my own mom and sometimes it breaks my heart because I know that I will never have a mom like that.
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  #13  
Old May 15, 2018, 12:44 AM
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Yes and we talked about it.
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  #14  
Old May 15, 2018, 01:47 AM
Merope Merope is offline
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I have intense paternal transference for my current T and I feel he is actively but subtly reparenting me. It took me months to muster up the courage to tell him and he took it really well. It’s a very healing experience but I feel like I’m becoming a little dependent on him. I hope this will subside in time.
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  #15  
Old May 15, 2018, 02:59 AM
Anonymous54545
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Not parental.... i do have sisterly feelings for her. I would love if she were my sister.
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Anonymous45127, LonesomeTonight
  #16  
Old May 15, 2018, 06:07 AM
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fille_folle fille_folle is offline
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Yes, and now I'm crying because I want my Ts and it's not fair. I feel like a child winding up for a tantrum. Attachment issues suck.
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Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127
  #17  
Old May 15, 2018, 07:18 AM
winterblues17 winterblues17 is offline
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I don't know what it is... I think I do, but it kind of changes all the time. Right now I'd say big time feeling it cos I feel like a child right at this moment who is missing their mummy, and it sucks because it's all new to me! Suppose I still find it all very confusing and worrying.
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Anonymous45127
  #18  
Old May 15, 2018, 08:15 AM
toomanycats toomanycats is offline
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I had stroooong maternal transference for exT

I have strong paternal transference for current T
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LonesomeTonight
  #19  
Old May 15, 2018, 08:56 AM
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Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
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I feel like I have both maternal and paternal feelings directed towards my male T.

Last edited by Lemoncake; May 15, 2018 at 10:40 AM.
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  #20  
Old May 15, 2018, 10:31 AM
Anonymous59090
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I was starved of good enough mothering.
My desire to be loved, heard, nurtured still twisted itself toward the sun to get that shadow into the spirit.
T said she didn't think whrn we first started that I would ever attach to her. I did. I know fake, dysfunctional people. I didn't until T. She's different to anything I've ever had in my life.
What she's given me is, priceless.
So in answer to your question. Yes, my wounds grew toward T. She met them and some.
  #21  
Old May 15, 2018, 10:36 AM
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88Butterfly88 88Butterfly88 is offline
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No, probably because I didn't have any issues with my parents. I did have issues in childhood that I talk about but they took place at preschool without my parent's knowledge.
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