Couch 171: Scams R Us

Im an italian catholic, i dont have a favorite (heathen) roman emperor, i have a favorite saint.

At least somebody is trying to make america great again here!

I bet you all found the three stooges funny.
None of you will ever be allowed into the inner library sanctum with this sort of puerile attempt at humor.
You kids get off my lawn.

I’m assuming that would be Saint Fiacre, the patron saint of proctologists?

We are the new three stooges. How are you not one of us? Youre always fretting about putting someones eye out, woo woo woo.

Sometimes I auto-talk to my T in my head, and I noticed that sometimes random phrases about my feelings towards him come into my brain without any context or obvious reason. I assumed these were mostly "I love you" and "I miss you" as these are the ones that make it to the Dear T thread.
This week a really unexpected one came out and it made me think I should note them down as they occur. They are much more negative overall than I thought. I'm really filtering when I use Dear T. I think a lot of these are unconscious transference/attachment related responses. Here is the list I wrote this week:

I'm scared of you
I need you
My heart aches for you
I lovehate you
I miss you desperately
I hate you
I miss you [T's name]
I hate you

Theoretically only CE is capable of puerile behavior. Una and art and I are girls, puellae.

Etymology is a wonderful thing.

And my cats respect whisky. Are they allowed in the library?

That's me!

Whisky was the one liquor not present at girl's weekend this year!

I think I'm going to send the therapist an angry text. An ultimatum, even.

Heading out to dinner with my cousins I haven't seen in a couple years.

Good one. But no, Saint Hilarion, not to be confused with Pope Hilarius.

MAGA: one glass at a time.

I'll join you in sending angry correspondence, susannah. Therapists suck. It's all a scam. Har har.

Wow, that’s you?

If we were in ancient rome - yes. But here and now and in English you are all lumped together. Not only are you capable of it - you are actually engaging in it.
Bathroom humor, stick poking, blinky pictures, etc.

The cats would be allowed if able to pass the mature cat test. Kittens, while adorable, are possessed by demons.

Thats his temptation! He eschews all chewables.

But yeah that was me 40 years ago...

I am the disapproving narrator.

I am grading my summer class finals and so am crabby.

Aaaaaaugh couch I just found out that the therapist I've been assigned at this new program I have to do for the next year is none other than the dude who did my intake. I HATE THIS DUDE. After spending an hour with me he told me that I have borderline personality disorder. To which I said, "but I don't meet the DSM V criteria? And none of my other psych providers have ever suggested to me that I might have that diagnosis?" And he was totally uninterested in my thoughts on the matter, was 100% sure of himself--not even curious about why I might disagree with him. (I have a special hatred for people who don't have even the slightest bit of healthy skepticism regarding their own thoughts and ideas. It's not that I dislike confidence, it's that I abhor people who won't even entertain the possibility that they might be wrong.)

Also he's an MSW but the secretary that works in his office calls him Dr. so-and-so which makes me hate him even more--it's pretty ballsy to go by "doctor" if you don't have a PhD or an MD. (I am 100% sure he doesn't--I looked him up on LinkedIn/PubMed.)

I don't know what to do. He emailed me saying he'd been assigned to be my therapist. There was no, like, "how does that sound to you?" in the email, it was just a statement of how things were going to be. And since it's a program that has a lot of folks with personality disorders, they're probably suuuuuper effing rigid about boundaries and will be like "nope sorry you have to stick with the one you've got." (And also I'm afraid that asking them to reassign me will put me in the category of "demanding" or "controlling" and then they'll *really* feel certain that I have BPD.)

Why is it so freaking hard to find a psych care team that isn't sick or out of the country or abhorrent????

I have always thought you and Una were Laurel and Hardy.

“Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into.”

Well, I sent the therapist an ultimatum. She better respond. Last time I texted her, she ignored me, which isn't fair, because she responds to C. It's only been 21 minutes. I should be patient, but I am an impatient person. I feel like bombarding her with angry texts, perhaps until she blocks me, like what happened with that other poster. I wonder what my motive for that could be.

She hasn't responded and I am becoming enraged.

I'm completely convinced. That is just wrong on so many levels to call yourself DR.

Could you go all in on a distraction - like you really need a female T or he just looks too much like your ( cough) Grampa Joe? That's all I can think of.

I'm sure it gets annoying how touching I find your T for some reason through the forum filter, but there's so much charm and tenderness in that dialogue. Even is she was 26?

I sorta feel like it's wrong of me to ask ex-t for my sand tray pictures. Although she always said she'd give them to me one day. However I do realize I'm feeling guilty about it likely because she hasn't responded to my email. She'd said she was going out of town same time as me (now) so probably hasn't even seen my request yet.

I should have just asked her to email them...