Asking the therapist personal questions

Why not say exactly that?

Channel your inner Stopdog!

One exchange I can remember...

Me: I assume you've suffered?
Madame T: Yes, I've suffered.

That was enough for me.

In any other context, this would likely be seen as anti-social and creepy. Anything that departs too much from normal interaction and social convention... doesn't seem healthy or relevant. One of many reasons I found therapy like training to be a therapy client rather than a person.

Also, i think this is the sort of problem you run into when you try to engineer a relationship.

I love this

When I started with Madame T she wouldn't even tell me if she was married!

Mine wouldn't have either but I've bumped into his wife a few times at the door, when their client schedules have clashed. Once, he was trying to get their dog back into the house when I arrived. So I asked, is that your dog? He paused for quite a while before answering yes. I've often wondered whether the dog actually belonged to his wife and he was trying to work out what to say.

I totally agree, it's a thin line and it's a way for them to avoid taking responsibility.

All the therapist I’ve had have told me not to ask them personal questions. That they were the therapists and I was the client. That’s fine. But now I have a hard time asking personal questions to anyone because I’m not sure if I’m just being nosy or not. I feel like I talk about myself too much to people. I just don’t know if it’s ok or not. I want to ask about someone’s daughter who’s getting tested for autism. I feel like it’s non of my business even though the person messaged me about it and asked about my own autism experiences. I really don’t know.

Did you say it like Inspector Clouseau? THAT woulda been GREAT!

This is the danger, and I think Ts underestimate it. By refusing to answer questions, they discourage us from asking. That kills an important and perhaps revealing channel of communication.

It was the "You said your dog didn't bite!" "That's not my dog" gag.

@boz & CE- I have a friend who’s a therapist, and she is TERRIBLE to ask questions to. She shuts down, skirts around issues, never fully answers things, rarely gives much info about how she’s feeling (we’re friends of circumstance within a larger group- but she’s the same with all of us). I never made the connection of her being a therapist and being in the habit of dodging personal inquiries. (Personally, I just think she is a little “I’m smarter than you” which is why she was drawn to the therapy profession in the first place...) Anyway! Your posts just made me think of her.

Sounds like she's taking her work home with her.

i ask my therapist a lot of questions. she answers them.

Sorry for being late to the thread, but wanted to share my experience/s.

I've been seeing therapists since I was 20 and I'm 66 now, so I guess you could say I'm an old hand at this. I have Bipolar I, first manic episode at 16. Therapy is part of my treatment along with my meds. Takes both to keep me stable.

In my experience, there were always boundaries in therapy, and that included not asking tdocs personal questions. I don't have a problem with it. I guess I always felt their private life is really none of my business. Besides, I was paying good money to talk about *me* not them....lol

I did ask questions when I interviewed my current tdoc to see if we might click. Like where he went to school, where he trained, how long he practiced, what types of therapy/therapies he was familiar with, the usual.

But I also asked a few personal questions. I wanted to know where he stood on politics and religion, and a couple of other things that had nothing to do with therapy. I wasn't looking for a long debate/conversation, but if we weren't on the same page I knew it wasn't going to work. Fortunately, we were on the same page and the rest is history.
I never asked him a personal question again.

Again, my experience only.....