[SlumberKitty]

I'm getting anxious about my therapy appointment tomorrow. It's the third appointment with this new therapist and I'm waiting/wanting to feel that "click" but I don't know that I will. She's much more abrupt than my former T and it always leaves me sort of speechless. I did all the homework (it's different for me being in a cognitive behavioral therapy--my former T never gave me homework and was a different orientation altogether) but I didn't cope very well between the two weeks of sessions and I know that I didn't. So we are going to have to talk about that, but it is hard to open up to someone that I don't trust yet. She's all, this is a safe space, blah blah blah but I don't feel like it is yet and I feel like she is impatient with me. I have some questions to bring up to her so I might bring this up too if I am feeling particularly brave (probably not). She asked me if I was this quiet with my former T and I said that I was so I feel like I need to be more talkative which isn't my norm. It's so hard trying to get used to someone else when I'm missing my former T so much. I'm trying hard to not compare the two because they are very different and anyone would compare unfavorably to my former T in my opinion. Ugh. I want tomorrow to be here and get this over with, but I also don't want tomorrow to be here so I don't have to face it.

[Fuzzybear]

[seeker33]

Hi how was your session? I hope it went well and you feel a little bit safer with your new T?

[Flinders40]

I know exactly how you feel.

I had a therapist for five years whom I absolutely adored. We parted ways 10 years ago and I didn’t seek help again until this past January. I went through seven therapists until I found my current one in June. She’s okay - having a hard time clicking with her. At times it feels forced. It’s like I want to connect so badly but something is preventing it from happening.

Like you, I often think of my old therapist. I would give anything in the world to be able to talk/ hear her voice again. Unfortunately, she died three years ago.

I hope things get better for you.

[SlumberKitty]

Hi all, thanks for the support. My appointment was....complicated. She asked me if I had ever thought about going inpatient which didn't make me feel very good and she said she doesn't get what my former T and I did for 10 years. Like, basically, why I'm not better, which generally made me feel like crap.

But as a cognitive behavioral therapist she did give me a few ideas which I may be able to incorporate but she's not a long term therapist and I feel like any minute she's going to drop me which I don't want to happen after just losing my T of 10 years due to her illness. I'm starting to like this new T although she is in no way a substitute for my former T. She pretty much told me she thinks I will self harm the rest of my life which also made me feel pretty bad but I disagree because I need to have hope that that's not the case. I miss my former T so much and I just really wish I could go back to the safety of her office.

[seeker33]

Oh how can a therapist say such things to you? She's the one who should give you hope, not the other way round!