T ghosting you!

A lady is allowed to change her mind.
Many patients quit and then want to come back. Many therapists accept that.
I broke with Madame T at least four times and she always took me back.

Thank you for your help in processing all of this
I am not really hopeful, this has been going on for almost two months now. I would like to think we could still work together and repair this rupture but both t and I are stubborn creatures and we both believe we are right. I think in order for us to still work together I would have to submit to her demands

Thank you for this because it gives me some hope that things don’t always stay the same and it is ok to change your mind. Just as late no as your t is patient like Madame t

why should she respond to texts if YOU are ghosting your actual (paid) sessions?


if youd like an answer, maybe you should go to your next session to discuss whatever the difficulty is?

Honestly, there would be no point for the therapy work if you would submit to her demand. Doing that would completely undermine your therapy. You would not gain anything from that, just delaying the important work you need to do for yourself.

I can imagine that a repair of this rupture would be possible if you both could keep your opinion and you would not agree, BUT the T would really accept your stance as well and stop pushing. She could disagree with you and think that you ought to report but in order to help you and work with you she would have to manage that wish by her own without forcing it on you.

If you think that solution is not possible then I'm afraid that you are probably just wasting your time with her. All these ghostings and cancellations are just side effects when the real elephant in the room is still not properly addressed.

Honestly, if I would imagine something like this in my therapy then I would probably just constantly talk about it until we would find a proper resolution or I would become convinced that there will be no proper resolution and thus there would be no point in continuing with this T.

...it sounds like this is what you wanted?

Hmmmm....

Fair enough.

WTF? No way!

How are things now? I hope you could repair things with t. I used to go through the I quit cycle myself. It can be scary not to hear from them because it can mean anything.

Have you heard from t lately?

She has no right to demand that of you. Her responsibility lies with you - not the abuser. I was in a similar situation with a therapist recently and I walked out, slammed the door and never went back. Sorry you’re hurting.

Yeah, see it’s confusing, probably for both me and her! I want her to ring but I don’t because I want her to respect my wishes too!

You are so right, it’s better to hear something than get nothing, especially when you have an over active imagination like me!
I heard from t the other day because I am in hospital again. I had to cancel our only session in few weeks because I won’t make it.
She was very formal just saying sorry to hear that, take care t. I got more empathy from people I barely know. I get it, t is fed up with me. I am not sure I want to repair things with her.

So sorry you went through this too!
It’s so hard and feels like they really are interfering and acting out of their own fears. My t really had to get a hold of her counter transference before working with me

I agree with everything you say here and I feel really sad as I actually acknowledge the truth of it.
For a long time I have been ignoring the elephant in the room and just carrying on as if nothing was happening.
I allowed her to push me past my comfort and self support and been unstable ever since.
The part of me that is really attached to t is really hurting and struggling to come to terms with the reality here. The reality is that I am not willing to sacrifice my beliefs or feelings so she can do what she believes is the right thing and her duty!
I think she is not even aware of how much traumatic this has been on me because she has been so focussed on her own needs. This goes deep into my own process of feeling helpless and hopeless and being alone and has really triggered lots of old feelings about me being bad and not deserving to be here, etc...
t is not even interested in that just the logistics of what needs to be done, when and how!!!

I'm afraid this is pretty standard. It's the accursed Therapeutic Distance. (Boo! Hiss!) But it doesn't mean she is fed up with you. She's just following the rules, like the Therapy Zombie she is.