Couch 175: You've Got Mail....

(well, at least I stopped with 2.)

I loathe Austen. But I also have no use for Charlotte or Emily Bronte. One of Anne’s novels was OK.

I liked Jane Eyre when I first read it at 13 and hated it two years later.

Thomas Hardy any day over those ladies.

I didn’t read any of the required reading in school. I went to a not so great inner city public school. Most of the students and teachers didn’t care much. We (the students) would go buy cliff notes and just look at those to skim by for any class that had required reading.

I find Hardy too grim as a writing style as well.
I like witty sentences. The topic can be grim, but the writing does not need to follow.

Another book I've read multiple times that I first read in college is Joan Didion Play It as It Lays. Used to have a copy but I can't find it anymore so haven't read it in a long time.

Changing the subject entirely...

Many's the time I've thought, "If we could get this woman out of her abusive relationship and into a nice house with an adequate income, then we could start thinking about her mental health."

Why would you be thinking about anyone else's mental health in the first place? How does this even come up? And why just women?

If someone has made a sequence of emotional posts and then posts, "Oh well. Off to bed", then that gets a hug too.

It's not so much what they say as how much support I think they need.

"There is no such thing as a sane cat."

Easily fixed, Lemoncake. Just choose to do it!

I agree entirely in the last year since i have been in govt housing and not worried about finances have been the best 12-18 months in therapy i have been more invested in the work. The previous 4 years after leaving my ex i was kind of leaning on my T. Now my ex is leaving to go back to his hometown to look after his parents i think there will be more productivity in this aea.

But i agree with SD why limit to women there are plenty males in abusive relationships

I prefer to think of you as warm and passionate.

Toadstools.

What, like when people say sorry not sorry?

Um.. Empathy?

Well, I did say I was changing the subject. Something I thought of while reading another thread,.

Not just women. But on PC, it seems to be women more than men.

I find gender-neutral language dehumanising. Or more to the point, it takes me an effort of will to use it. You will recall how I was uncomfortable that you had a "sibling", when it was quite clearly your brother. Not fond of "spouse" or "person", either, if it is a specific person.

[I think I got this from my mother.]


Anyway, the point is, that people with real problems probably won't get much - certainly not enough - from therapy, in my humble opinion.

I do not disagree that money and safe housing are useful things for anyone to have regardless of how they identify. The way it was written did not sound empathetic to me.
I prefer sibling and parent and spouse and person. I do not find it dehumanizing. But even if I did - I would not mind it.
I don't recall your response to my writing style, but I will believe you.

I think in gendered terms and then translate.

And sometimes I forget to translate.

So sue me.

Thank you, CE.

Need advice: how do I stop emotionally investing into my H's health? He's doing it again today, this time it's a headache. I told him it's just a headache and his response is: "What if it's something worse? Do you want that responsibility if I die?" Wtf? I need to learn to not let this affect me or else I'm going to have another breakdown. I just yelled at him to shut up I hate this so much!

Ugh, I'm sorry--sounds like he's trying to put all this on you. I can understand your reaction. I've read before that if it's the worst headache of your life, then you should go to the ER (since could be, say, aneurysm or meningitis) but otherwise might not help. Maybe tell him to wait it out a bit or see if ibuprofen or tylenol helps? Hugs...

Maybe you should make some sort of behavior contract with consequences for him.

So I emailed p-doc to ask if some of my recent psychological issues could be due to recent med switch. She suggested a few different med options (both involving stuff I have, since I switched to this while mid-prescription), then added "Or maybe you should do an intensive outpatient program for alcohol use, since that can help with anxiety." The thing is, I'm working on the alcohol use stuff with T, and anxiety is not my concern right now, it's another psychological symptom. So I'm maybe a little bothered that she suggested that? Because I think this is a negative med side effect going on here (especially as I've had negative reactions to SSRIs and SNRIs before--this is just a different one). And I just changed meds a few weeks ago, so it seems like that could be what's contributing to symptoms, because these are new?


Suddenly feeling awkward about allowing her and T to communicate...because I want to have a very different conversation with T tomorrow. Hoping she won't contact him about it.

Is the negative side effect anxiety?

Youre virginia woolfe!

More like Abraham Maslow.