[LittleMouse]

I've been in therapy for three years for depression and though it has helped me survive the depression is still there. I feel burned out on therapy and am thinking about terminating after the first of the year. I am so conflicted about this decision. I know it is time for me to leave, I feel it, I can't do the work anymore but I am scared to death about giving up my strongest support system. I feel hopeless that therapy will help anymore and still feel depressed about life in general and don't think I will ever not be depressed. How do I terminate? Have any of you out there terminated therapy before? I am so scared but know it is the thing I have to do. Any help will be apreciated.

[sunrise]

LittleMouse, I hope you can talk to your T both about is therapy worthwhile for you anymore and termination. Does she know therapy is not helping you? Can she suggest anything else? There is more than one approach in therapy to working on depression. Maybe she could try a different approach. Or maybe she could refer you to a therapist who works on depression differently, and this may help you more. My first counselor was CBT and had a certain approach to depression. Our work together did help me somewhat, and my depression was somewhat better, but not gone. My second therapist, who is a more eclectic practitioner (not CBT), used an approach that really helped me and helped me conquer my depression. I think it is OK to move on to a different therapist when you have exhausted the person's therapeutic skill set and need something different to help you.

I hope you will talk about this with your therapist, and also the best way to terminate, if that is what you decide to do. I am not good at termination. Twice I have left a therapist with no warning, said nothing, just never came back. Looking back, I wish I had not done that, but instead had taken a little time in therapy to get some closure and talk about the termination and plan for it. Therapists are very experienced at terminations so your T will have some good ideas on how to do it.

Take care. (((hugs)))

[LittleMouse]

Thank you for your response Sunrise. I will not just walk away and plan to discuss this issue with my therapist. I want to do it correctly and have time for grief work and closure. I just feel so strange thinking about it and never thought I would come to this point in my therapy. I feel discouraged about the whole process and I know that is part of the reason I am thinking about quitting. It may not be the right thing to do, but therapy just does not seem to be helping anymore.

[Mouse_]

Littlemouse, Have you spoken to your T about this?

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
LittleMouse said:
I will not just walk away and plan to discuss this issue with my therapist. I want to do it correctly and have time for grief work and closure.... I feel discouraged about the whole process and I know that is part of the reason I am thinking about quitting. It may not be the right thing to do, but therapy just does not seem to be helping anymore.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">LittleMouse, I'm glad you will speak to your T about this. It sounds like you have a good relationship. Just remember, it isn't necessarily "therapy" that will not help you, but your current therapy with your current T that may not be helpful anymore. Therapy with someone else with a different strategy might be very helpful. Best of luck.

[Perna]

I don't see anything wrong with using therapy for support. When I saw my T for the first 9 years that was basically what I used it for and it got me through until year 18 when I could see her again for 9 years and then radically alter my life. My rule of thumb is not to let things get worse; if things are horrible and I stop something and that will make things get worse, I am not going to stop that!

You can be hopeless now but not tomorrow because tomorrow hasn't shown up yet. Tomorrow might contain what you need to feel better. So, if you can't hope now, hope for hope in the future. As Peter S. Beagle wrote in The Last Unicorn, "The happy ending can't come in the middle of the story." I always ask myself whether I'm happy and if the answer is "no" then I know it isn't the end of the story yet :-)