Couch 176: The happy cake couch

I like the new couch

I booked a thai massage at the fancy massage place I always go. I started crying before we even began. The lady was nice when she noticed. Told me to be strong. Gave me a hug and a cuddle at the end and made jokes. I obviously tipped her well after I went back to the changing room.

I texted woman T asking if she has any slots for today. Then messaged saying I was okay. Now I am going to message again asking if it's okay that i've changed my mind.

I like this new couch too!

I sometimes like cake, but I'll take a scone instead, thanks! Strangely, I just remembered I had a dream last night where I went to some cafe and got a blueberry scone. I had intended to get something healthier, but it just looked so good. Later in the dream, I tried to eat celery to make up for it, but I hate celery, so could only have a couple bites. Hm, then a couple nights ago I dreamt about eating doughnuts. Maybe I need to start having a snack before bed...

I like both cake and scones.

I keep having a dream I am back in high school. But the classrooms are located inside a mall. So it’s like..you walk out of the classroom and have a choice of stores to go into. Want new clothes? No problem, walk out of Algebra class and New York & Company is right there. Need to refresh your make up bag? No problem...there’s a Sephora right next to English class. Did your phone break? Don’t worry because just down hall from History class you have Verizon. Weird dream.

Maybe it's saying something about your needs being met Jersey?

Not a snack, but perhaps a second dinner routine?!?

Morning couchies! H made it back at like 1:30 this morning. They drove like 2,000 miles!

Hope everybody has a good day, hugs and headnods all around as appropriate.

Does he get paid at least partly based on mileage? I hope so!

Jersey — it fits right in with the commodification of education.

rr — am alive and well (just got caught up a bit on the last Couch and saw your post Was away at a meditation retreat for the better part of two weeks and have been traveling a bit since then. Back stateside tomorrow, totally un-enlightened, sad to say.

We are in for a spate of bad weather. It always makes the pets restless and whiny.

And I only recognized verizon out the names of the stores. I am old. I don't even remember the last time I went to a mall.

He gets paid 60% of what the company charges the client for the job. His cut was like $1400 (he pays for his own gas, meals, hotel room if he gets one etc) and he's giving his buddy $450. He also gets a mileage deduction or something on our taxes.

Wow, nice! Makes sense about the mileage deduction, as I imagine he's an independent contractor.

Someone please come prod me out of bed. I have to shower and go to work but I don't want to.

I'm eating my feelings and I've stopped crying. I've had these breakdowns before nothing new. I'm tempted to call back up T woman at 6pm and tell her I want to cancel. She charges more than R.

My mother hasn't called me since the 9th.

I might be suggesting something oh so dirty- but you could start a trend an shower every other day.

campfire.JPG

Here are some happy pancakes for Couch breakfast. They smell great, NP, and there's maple syrup and coffee too--maybe that will help you out of bed?

And while camping is fun, very early this morning I was happy to be in my house because I didn't have to find my coat, find my shoes, shush the dog, look for the flashlight, and trek halfway down the loop in the dark to use the bathroom.

(((Lemoncake))) I did some emotional eating myself yesterday... I think it was cuz of missing L knowing I won't see her this week. Grrr it almost makes me wish I'd never gone back.(even though really I am glad) I'm getting all stupid-attached to her again and then she goes out of town!! Maybe that's good though and will serve to stop my attachment in its tracks....

WFS: "Glamping" is the best of both worlds.

Glamping holidays in the UK and Europe

I bought chocolate and I've been living off pizza and no gym = me needing to be rolled

I also posted this on the other thread, but adult Artie and child Artie have different needs and wants. I don't think our feelings stop just because the other person isn't there.

I don't think attachment is painful. I am attached to my pets and I leave them without pining. I am attached to my parent and I only see him once a year or so, I was attached to my person and when she was alive she could go off and live in other countries for a few months and it was not painful - I trusted she would be back. I would not use the word attachment or even bonded to the descriptions I see of people when they talk about the therapist. Those may be in there of course I am not saying there is no element of attachment that can exist alongside these other feelings, but I don't think it is either of those that is the painful sounding longing that I read about.

I know I swing more on the obsessive side and even as a child I focused on one girl I wanted to be best friends with all the way through primary school. I don't trust R to come back. I need someone to be in front of me to believe that they're there. But then I don't feel like I'm real a quarter of the time anyway.

I sometimes had separation anxiety with my previous dog. I do pine a bit for my current dog (and did for previous dogs) if we are separated for days. I do not pine for anyone else, though. Well, maybe my sister. I hate when she leaves after a visit.

It's not attachment per se that is painful, it is the way that some people attach. For example when I am really attached to somebody, I might not trust that that person comes back when they leave, not even if they just go take the trash outside. There are different attachment styles, some of which are experienced as painful.