Couch 176: The happy cake couch

The phrase Higher Power always brings this scene to mind from one of my all time favorite movies:

Oh, I deleted my post—I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk about it. Thanks for the info, I understand better now.

Is it that maybe you feel you should be able to control everything in your life that’s the issue?

Awww that was a cute scene.

Oh that does make sense.

(Have you notice that I've stopped adding hugs to your posts.)

Mine seems to feel that he can be hurt...I know he's said things like "belittling" him isn't OK. And his whole thing about "You affect me, LT."

Did you take first day of school photos?

I don't have anything on the second point but I can imagine is different from not seeing them everyday, but how far is she considering moving too?

Today is not my day

Another day - I had things I wanted to accomplish, and they didn't happen. Consuming 2/3 of a bag of chocolate buttons mindlessly wasn't on the To Do list, surprisingly enough...

Not exactly the same thing but I've been shouted at when I was a younger working at
a pharmacy because our prices were too high. It wasn't nice and I did feel like crying. There was a thread way back where it was discussed that T's were human after all, but I think we can hurt them.

When I was angry at R I said something along the lines of that I hated him, that he wasn't a good therapist and that maybe I should file a complain about him.

He said hearing that made him sad, but it was the way he said it that I knew it did get to him.

I was looking at a giant 900g jar of Montezuma chocolate buttons and considering buying them as a surprise gift for my sister, but was put off by the fact that delivery was £4.95, not the fact they were £22 something!

Things get done when they get done. I hope you enjoy your buttons!

We have a special cat print blanket and hot chocolate waiting for you on our couch!

Thank you...I feel really limbo-y at the moment.

do you have a date for when you'e seeing your R?

Not yet....she'll be in touch 'in the next few weeks, and we can pencil in some dates'. Hooray...

I love janeane garafalo

Yes that's a huge part of it...

L does too. I know I hurt her once for sure maybe twice. I guess it's a precarious balance sometimes to be human enough for a connection to happen and be maintained yet not have too much skin in the game at the same time. Or something.

Someone in our team chat at work just mentioned they're hiring 150 reps here, I took that opportunity to announce that my desk would be available for a new hire if our boss would let me work at home! he was all I hear you loud and clear lolol

This is why I am concerned about letting R know how I have experienced the break, even though she seems to get that it would have been 'difficult' for me.

There's difficult, and then there's...whatever this is.

Piaf. Got a notification of a registered letter yesterday. Just picked it up at the post office.

"Dear ATAT,

"I have received your email informing me that you will not be returning to my practice. It reached me after I secured a clinical case consultation with a trusted and experienced colleague in line with legal, professional, and ethical guidelines, including client confidentiality. [A consultation about what? Her screw-up? My hearing? And, oh, what a waste of her effort!]

"I recognize that my words were hurtful. That was not my intention. I tried to work through it with you in session, and I am sorry. [For what? And her idea of working it through in session while I sit there crying and worrying everyone else in my life feels the same way, is not apologizing or reassuring, but first to claim she meant something else (that I ask too many questions to clarify, like the "about what?" in the first paragraph), to change the topic of conversation, and then to just sit there and stare at me without even trying to do anything.]"

Then she encloses a check for $100. What happened to the bill that she said would be returned? Is she making interest off it in an account somewhere?

It is a good thing the only thing I planned to do today is get my Lupron shot later, then, since that renders me useless for anything else, go home, change into pj's, watch baseball, and eat whatever I want for once.

I wonder if a therapist gets hurt if someone punches them? (No, not gonna do that.)

For a profession that holds themselves out as so emotionally aware and useful, the practitioners can be so entirely clueless.

Just practicing.

I am glad you got your money back.

I want to take a vacation soon. My therapist wants to talk this into the ground. He wants to know why I want to go; my answer was to get away from work and away from my house. He wants that for me, but he's also worried about other escapist reasons I want to go, which may not be entirely unfounded, but I don't want to spend a bunch of time going over this. I suspect he's also going to be unhappy about where I want to go which is why I was very noncommittal when he asked me yesterday.

I want to go somewhere like this. Isolated. But running water.

I know you've really been struggling. My spider sense is tingling with your post. Please be careful right now.

Perhaps a spa break at a hotel?

Ahhh. Just want to hide out on the couch with a blanket over my head and not feel the sting of disappointment from not seeing new T and the uncertainty of talking to former T. However, I could totally go for some chocolate right now.

Ts are humans and as such not able to perfectly control their feelings, nor should they. A T can be hurt by clients, feel happy for them, get scared when the client is scared or get angry sometimes. But it‘s the Ts job to be aware of their feelings and be honest about them blaming the client.