[justbreathe1994]

I didn’t think I’d be able to post on this forum for awhile because it can be painful at times to read about others’ relationships with their Ts, especially after mine terminated so abruptly. I am having a really difficult time. I have left her lots of voicemails, which I feel quite ashamed about. It just feels like my heart is overflowing with grief, but I was only allotted two sessions to process it with her (both of which I was basically still in shock). I miss her terribly and I really just want to know that she cares. It’s hard to know she cares when she must know how much I’m hurting. I know that’s selfish of me to say given she’s acting out of her own boundaries, but I am just trying to be perfectly honest. Maybe that’s selfish; I don’t have any excuses. I just want to hear her say she loves me one last time.

[PurpleBlur]

so sorry youre strugglng...i know its hard and its excruciating....sending you love and support

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm sorry you're hurting. My ex-T left me too without warning. I don't even know what I did. Maybe it's better that way? Except I worry about doing something wrong with current T. Least you know now what not to do. But I understand it's painful. You don't deserve to suffer. You made a mistake, that's all. You will get through this. It took me a while, but ex-T no longer impacts my life. I thankfully found a T right away, and she's been a godsend. Without her, I probably wouldn't have survived. Please try to get all the support you can get right now. You need it. Family, friends, professionals, a new T, a group, crisis line, PC, etc. You can go get your hair done (many people change their hair after something traumatic and it makes you feel a little bit better about yourself) and talk to the hairdresser. You can talk to grocery clerks, mailmans, etc. Don't be ashamed. We've all made mistakes in a relationship. But it's okay. You can do this!

[LonesomeTonight]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much--I would be, too--and I wish she'd given you more sessions to process what happened with her. Did she give you referrals for other therapists? I'm under the impression that (in the US, where it appears you are), they're ethically bound to give you 3 referrals if they terminate with you. I know it would likely be difficult to trust someone else right now, but I think another T could help you work through this grief. Because that's what it is--grief.


The ending of my relationship with my former marriage counselor (from the rupture to our actual choosing to terminate with him 4 months later) was extremely painful for me. It was also a case where I'd apparently crossed a boundary line in saying I loved him (it was a much more complicated situation than that). I'd already been seeing current T when that happened, and I kept worrying that I was talking about ex-MC too much in there. I said to T at one point, in terms of why I was talking about it so much and so emotional about it: "Maybe you can just think of it as grief, that I'm grieving a loss?" T replied, "I already do think of it as grief." Which made me feel better and sort of legitimized it in a way. So maybe it would help you to think of it that way, how it's almost like grieving a death or divorce?

[Taylor27]

Hugs it very hard being terminated by a therapist. My very first therapist terminated me after 7 years out of no where. It was very tough to finally get a new therapist but i got one and he has been good for me. I do not agree with why your therapist terminated you just for driving past her house. I think it was unfair of her not giving you a chance to work through things. I do hope she gave you some referrals to some other therapist. Also there are support group in most cities for mood disorders, crises lines and pc are all good supports. The worst thing to do is isolate, you deserve to get support and you deserve to find a good therapist to work with you. I know its hard for you comming on pc and reading about others, just know you can post anytime and get support and love here. Hugs

[SlumberKitty]

I'm sorry you are hurting so much. I would be too if I were in your shoes. I'm sorry you only got two sessions to process the termination. That doesn't seem like a lot. Like Cheryl27 said, try not to isolate because it really does make things worse. Try to use your coping skills right now and be kind to yourself. ((hugs))