[justbreathe1994]

I am just really struggling. I miss my T, but at the same time, I feel a tiny sense of freedom that I am no longer bound to that attachment. I mean I still feel heartbroken/shocked/resistant about losing her, however, it’s hard for me to beleive that our work was going anywhere.

Regardless, I miss her terribly. And I just don’t know how to connect with a T again. My connection with prev T was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Sometimes we’d both make eye contact and I felt chills with how close we felt in those moments. I told her everything. Literally everything. I don’t even know how to start with a new T. I just want old T back.

[nottrustin]

Wish I knew what to say to help you. It is really painful and hard to move on. Take baby steps and allow yourself to feel all that you need to.

[SlumberKitty]

I know it's hard. I miss my former T too. Just take it day by day, moment by moment if you have to. I wish I had something to say that would make it better. ((hugs))

[ScarletPimpernel]

I'm sorry you're struggling.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by justbreathe1994

I am just really struggling. I miss my T, but at the same time, I feel a tiny sense of freedom that I am no longer bound to that attachment. I mean I still feel heartbroken/shocked/resistant about losing her, however, it’s hard for me to beleive that our work was going anywhere.

Regardless, I miss her terribly. And I just don’t know how to connect with a T again. My connection with prev T was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Sometimes we’d both make eye contact and I felt chills with how close we felt in those moments. I told her everything. Literally everything. I don’t even know how to start with a new T. I just want old T back.

I can understanding the longing but I wonder if the stress of that relationship is something that you don't miss? You are going into uncharted territory with a new T but maybe the relationship will be more easygoing and less nerve jangling and difficult. Maybe it will be a chance to focus on YOU.

[justbreathe1994]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

I can understanding the longing but I wonder if the stress of that relationship is something that you don't miss? You are going into uncharted territory with a new T but maybe the relationship will be more easygoing and less nerve jangling and difficult. Maybe it will be a chance to focus on YOU.

Yes. This. This is the only thing that is really getting me through. However, I just really want to beleive she also still cares, even if that is making it about her again. Part of me is scared that I destroyed whatever caring she felt for me as soon as I crossed her boundary. Therapy is so confusing. I don’t understand how I could feel so cared for by someone, so connected, but it’s all just contained in those four walls. I didn’t really know how fragile that containment and black and white it was until I broke her boundary. I don’t mean that to minimize what I’ve done. It’s just hard for me to process.