Constant note-taking

Started seeing a new t recommended by old T who retired a year ago. I’m not in crises, but have some serious family issues I’d like help and perspective on.

Have met with her 4 times. She takes notes CONSTANTLY! I find this really annoying, and don’t really feel seen or heard. Sometimes she’s even writing while she replies to something I’ve said!

My retired t never took notes while I was there and was very engaging. At first I thought it was just the change in styles and I was judging her without giving her a chance. This week I mentioned it and she brushed it off saying this is how she works.

Does anyone else work with a t that writes all the time through the entire session? Does it work for you? Is it worth bringing up again, or should I just consider this a bad match? And if I stop seeing her, should I tell her honestly why, or some give some benign, generic answer?

Mine has never. That would hinder her use of herself in the therapy.

Mine took a lot of notes the first few sessions, now he just keeps a notepad next to his chair and will jot a few things down during session. It doesn't bother me because he still seems engaged.

I had a t like that a long time ago. I felt similarly as you do , not truly heard. It didn’t work out as he was a really bad fit for me.

Mine has never taken any notes.

I probably wouldn't like a T who just takes notes constantly. That's very odd.

My T constantly takes notes but it never interferes with the interaction between us. Occasionally he will stop me while he writes something important down. It does help because I can say do you remember so and so a few sessions back an he can read his notes and refresh his memory and we are on the same page. unlike some T on here who forget things and cause mini ruptures

Mine took notes on the first session but never since, I assume she does it after cos her memory is really good, but if she took them in session, I don't think that would work for me.

Most Ts I’ve had, including my current one, don’t take notes during session. I had one T that took a LOT of notes. It bothered me at first, but I got over it and she was an AMAZING therapist. One of the best I’ve had.

My T never takes notes in session. That seems like a barrier, and not very therapeutic to constantly write.

My current T constantly takes notes. At this point, I have my own dedicated legal pad. It bothered me at first, but only because I thought it would hinder him from being present in the room. Now it really only bothers me if I'm a sobbing mess, crying and being silent, and he jots something down.

Someday when I'm in a place where I need to reflect on my progress, I look very forward to reading his notes. He's told me countless times he'll let me.

My T takes notes constantly. It doesn't bother me because she's very engaging and pays close attention to me during my sessions.

My T always takes notes and when I asked once if I could see them she sort of brushed that request off.

I've never had a T that toke so it was off putting at first but now it mostly doesn't bother. Sometimes when I haven't said too much she still takes and I have teased her and asked if she's writing her grocery list.

Mine has never done it, which at first I found odd (I had this stereotyped view on therapy and how it worked) so I figured she should've been writing down everything I told her. But I prefer that she does it once I leave, which is what probably happens.

My child's therapist (he was around 12 at the time), a very seasoned therapist with about 35 years of experience, took a lot of notes, at least when I was in a joint session. I'd never had a therapist take notes directly like that, but I felt he was very much engaged as he did so. It was often useful because it seemed like the therapist used the notes to highlight important issues in future sessions.

So I think I experienced how note taking can be effective, but if that is not your experience and she works in a way that doesn't work for you, then perhaps a change in therapists is warranted.

Yes! My therapist takes notes during the entire session. I often wonder why she needs so many notes. I guess I must be really interesting if she wants to go back and read about me .

In most cases, note taking would really bother me. In this case, it doesn't seem to distract her, and she usually kind-of shares the notes with me. As in, she'll say, "I'm going to record that so I remember to discuss it next time". So I'm pretty much used to her taking notes.

My last pdoc, with whom i always had 45 minute therapy-like sessions, took notes from the beginning to the end of every session, lately on his laptop. He was still very engaged. He sometimes quoted me from years earlier, which was helpful to me to see how far i had progressed. Geez i sounded like a crazy person. Hounded. I was glad i didnt feel like that anymore.

My previous p-doc wrote down just about every word I said, to the point that I would have to pause so she could catch up. It was rather annoying. Figure out some sort of shorthand! I'm curious as to whether she sent all those notes to my current p-doc when I requested she send my files...

Current T took lots of notes the first session and then at two other sessions when I was giving a history of something. Otherwise, he doesn't usually write anything down (though has a pad on the table next to him in case he needs to). I think he must type the session notes on his computer after session, since he stays seated as his computer after I pay, and he's made a comment about looking back in his notes before.

Ex-T would have a pad in front of her and just jot down a few things during session. She told me when I asked that she'll write down how my emotional state seems, then a couple things to go back to in other sessions. Ex-MC never wrote anything down, not even in our intake session, as far as I could remember. And he often retrieved a client as he walked us to the waiting room, so I wonder how much he actually put in his notes?

In general, I tend to prefer them not taking many notes, because then they can be more engaged with me, plus I'd often wonder what my ex-T was writing when she'd randomly scrawl something down (and with ex-p-doc, I'd think "you don't need to write down *every* detail!). However, I do wish T had taken notes on a few things from earlier sessions because he doesn't have the world's greatest memory (which he admits to). Though he'll apologize and ask if he doesn't remember.

My former T would take a few notes in session if she was doing back to back sessions, otherwise I assume she did the notes afterwards. New T--Tony the Tiger T--takes more notes in session. Not constant but quite a bit of notes really. It sort of bothers me but if that's what she needs to do to help me then I guess that's okay. I always get paranoid and think they are writing something bad about me.

I was in the car quite a bit today and was thinking about just this topic. My therapist took a lot of notes during the first session, which I expected. She now regularly takes notes throughout most sessions. I feel like she's engaged in the conversation, and although I don't think it distracts me often, I am cognizant when she is writing because I know I must have just said something "important" or insightful. She never takes notes during any chit chatting, when I'm making sarcastic comments, or sitting there quietly thinking. I also have a pretty good idea when my treatment plan must be due for the insurance company because she always asks casually how I have been feeling in general and updates on how I have been sleeping, concentrating, etc.


Has anyone asked if they could read their notes? What was the therapist's response?

Mine is always taking notes during session too. She even does it on a computer so she's typing and has a screen in front of her while she does it. Not very engaging. It's a bit annoying but it's worth it to see her. She can't stop because she's required to do it at the clinic she works for. I basically feel like my mental health is being dissected in exchange for therapy because of how info she has to keep up on me.

My current T of three years wrote almost constantly during the first six months or so. I didn't find it distracting - just a little odd opposed to what I was used to. At one point, three months in, I asked my T, "How long does it take to evaluate me? You have my test results." Perhaps, your new T is taking copious notes now as she wants a good foundation of what your issues are and how you relate to her - or how you talk. My T now only takes notes when there's new material. Otherwise, she's very present and attentive. IMO, good Ts need to evaluate their clients and typically take notes to look back on later if there are changes or big issues not talked about early.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, but you aren't me. If it truly bothers you, perhaps you can ask your T to explain why she's taking so many notes? (BTW, my T never did answer my question about how long it takes to evaluate a client!!)

Thanks everyone-all replies were super helpful.

Unfortunately, when I asked if she could take fewer notes, pointing out that even when she was talking to me she was still writing, she became peevish, saying I was being dismissive of her style and unable to let go of control. Well...I very gently suggested we were not a good match, and could she recommend someone else in the practice (there are about 12-15 other therapists) she said she couldn’t think of anyone and perhaps I should try looking on Psychology Today. (!)

I’m disappointed, first because I had such a good relationship with a t who retired, and second because this feels like such an epic fail. Pretty discouraged, but perhaps just an indication to leave the idea of therapy alone for now. Maybe not the right thing for right now.

I had a therapist that took no notes and never remembered anything from past therapy sessions. I literally spent every session repeating something. The new one takes notes sometimes but I wish she would take more. She forgets alot too.

I love that my T takes notes. To me, it seems to show she's paying attention. Yet, what you describe as nonstop note-taking, I would find distracting and dismissive. There's a fine balance. I'm glad you'll look for someone else to be your T.

I wouldn't see a T that takes notes constantly. I would address it, but you've already done that, and your concern was brushed aside. That attitude alone would be a bad sign to me.


My medical NP tends to type into her computer while we're talking. I understand the pressure she's under to document because of federal mandates, and that "charting" is unpaid time and time taken away from patients and the practitioner's personal life. But I still don't like it, and have, on occasion, forced her to stop and look and listen to me. I try to give her other time during an appt to chart. But if she were not willing to meet me half way on this, I wouldn't see her. With a T, I think the stakes are way higher, and by not looking at you, she's diminishing her engagement with you and that means a lesser therapeutic effect.