Couch 180:

so i got to class a little early and skimmed through the chapter that the homework was about one more time. the proverbial light bulb finally came on. there were 1.5 standard deviations between the two scores, and the two scores are separated by 30 points so.... drum roll please.... (1.5)(standard deviation)=30, so the standard deviation=30/1.5, or 20. WOO! and using the 2 scores I was given, the mean is 62. I feel better now.

I also decided in the car that if I truly did suck like i was feeling like i do all day, then i wouldn't CARE that i suck. so because i care so much, that must mean i don't. suck.

i have been on one intense roller coaster today.

Hm, interesting...I think there was one in particular my p-doc said was like that (not an SSRI, something else). I know with a few SSRIs, when I tried to go to a higher dose, I ended up with agitation or increased anxiety. Had muscle twitching (like legs and arms) when I went up on Cymbalta, so couldn't stay with that. I'll have to ask p-doc which med she meant (it's one I only tried very briefly--maybe Gabapentin?)

Hello Couch!

I've been feeling grumpy about losing summer sunshine, but today I put on my favorite boots, and I'm making soup for dinner. I've missed boots and soup. So...still a little grumpy about losing summer, but not as.

So long as you’re not making soup from your boots, it’s all good.

I made soup from beer and cheese. Not quite so chewy.

My girls are wired tonight and won't go to SLEEP...while my boys have been sleeping for hours. *Sigh* Guess I'll watch some shows until they zonk out.

I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I think the maths stuff has triggered this- but You don't suck artie. I would be so proud of the student who actually kept trying to do the work. Perhaps book an appointment with the professor and dont leave until you understand the stats stuff.

I'm not going to tell you not to cry, but to accept where you are right now. Could you take a hot bath just rest in bed and journal.

Woooooo I'm so glad you got it!

Congrats on the board score !

Will you be staying at home or going somewhere nice?

Oooooo you're very talented! I also really like the whale one!

I would have changed it but i can't edit my original post.

You can contact a mod they can change it

Well done! Did you see my post on the last page of 179?

You have special soup-making boots?

I know it's not Halloween yet but found this and had to share.

I just had a nightmare about T1. It is very triggery so don't open the trigger thingy if you think it might impact on you.
it's not the first dream like that I've had about him.

Nowhere nice to go :/

Thanks for this Lemon. Recently, after reading a thread on here I wondered what it would be like to contact him telling him how much he hurt me. I think part of this dream is telling me that I would never get a good response from him and it would likely hurt me more.

I didn't really tell him at the time because I was too wrapped up in transference/love for him and I didn't feel any of the anger that I feel now. It's hard to know what to do with that anger other than express it to him. I am sure this relates strongly with anger towards my late mother that I was never able to express. There was always a lot of maternal transference with T1.

He contacted me out of the blue 2 years after termination, at 2am, probably drunk, and told me he had split up with his wife and giving me his personal email in case I wanted to "catch up". I never replied because at that point I realised it wasn't about him caring for me at all, it was all about him. He didn't ask me anything about me in that message, he just told me all about him. I realised then that he didn't care about me and that's when I became angry.

Tomorrow evening is the big event! My best friend and her dog are coming, yay! It's a tough friendship because we only get to see each other 2x a year. Brief weekend visits too... but hopefully it will be a good fun time for me. She gets to see my new place.

thanks!! and i don't think so, going back to look now.

eta after looking: that's what i didn't understand how to do - solve for sigma and mu - for any formulas that we've learned so far, i didn't have enough information with x1, x2, z1 and z2. but thanks anyways!

Well, this morning was a disaster. H leaves to take D to school at 8:30. I was awake at 7:30, D at 7:50. She was playing with the Kindle Fire. I was doing some work downstairs. I thought I heard H get up and thought "OK,he's getting in the shower in a minute, he'll be down soon," then just lost track of time. At 8:30, he comes downstairs, going "What time is it?" Apparently he'd turned off his alarm. I was apologizing profusely for not paying attention to time, he yelled at me and said to stop apologizing. I was trying to get D ready while he showered really quickly, but she insisted on a particular shirt. I searched the entire house (including the laundry) and couldn't find it, she was flipping out, H was mad, she was upset, I was trying to comfort her. We finally got her to wear something else. She was going to be like 20 minutes late (he just has to sign her in at office instead of doing car dropoff). I said "I love you" to H as he left, he just ignored me (or possibly didn't hear me? But he usually says it if I don't).


I feel like he thinks it's all my fault. I should have paid attention to the time. But he should also be capable of setting his alarm, right? What if I'd been asleep, too? Still, I definitely think he puts all the blame on me...Somehow 40 minutes just evaporated...

Unless you guys have specifically discussed that you'd wake him up if he ever doesn't get up in time, that's on him. He might be a bit mad at himself for sleeping too long and you apologizing just made it a bit worse (happens with my partner and I all the time). Don't beat yourself up about it, your D is at school now and husband is probably working, in a few hours he will hopefully have calmed down.

LT, I don’t think he’s blaming you. Doesn’t matter who’s responsible, either—this is pretty normal behavior on both your parts when people are up against a deadline and are under stress and nothing seems to be going right.

And yes, on apologizing—in a situation like that apologizing can be annoying because it doesn’t solve the problem at hand. It just gets in the way.

Yeah, I know about the apologizing...and I've actually been doing much better about that lately! I think when I get stressed, the apologies come out, and when H does, the yelling comes out, which tends to trigger more apologies, so just sort of a vicious cycle. I was trying to talk really calmly during parts of it, both to D and to him, and I think that maybe helped? And I just did things without bothering to ask him if he wanted me to do them (since asking generally tends to annoy him for whatever reason, like even just saying, "What can I do to help?"), like I poured him to-go coffee, put her lunch in her backpack, etc.