[piggy momma]

Does anyone stay in therapy because staying is just a helluva lot easier than leaving? I’m starting to wonder if that’s me.

No. Is always more complex then that.

Similar to life, I think it’s often easier to keep things the same rather than make a change.

Leaving therapy can be particularly painful. I balk at those who pass judgment that quitting therapy is just taking the easy way out or avoidant. This board is packed with stories that say otherwise. I can speak from experience that my termination was more painful than most of what brought me to therapy.

I’ll phrase this in a way that won’t strike so many nerves, but again as with life, I think we constantly need to be aware of our relationships, evaluate if it’s what we need, and if not find the courage to make a change... be it another therapist or going at it alone.

[Seelenna1982]

Me 🙋🏻*♀️ It’s easier to keep a routine and not stir things up for my personality. It’s easier for me to ignore problems that make me want to change.
I’ve hit a point, part of me desperately doesn’t want to go bother with it anymore. The other part won’t let me just quit yet because I’ve not yet gotten anything out of it and I’ve spent so much money. I feel like I won’t be able to justify it if I don’t stick though to some kind of improvement. Then I’m scared that it will never happen. That therapy just might not be for me and the longer I stay the more it will have cost for nothing. Ugh! Dilemma.

[piggy momma]

I think he's going to fire me next week anyway, so I might be spared having to make a decision.

[weaverbeaver]

I can relate to this. I often thought why am I here, why not just leave but leaving is so hard.
Staying is easier for me because if I left it would open up a huge gaping abandonment wound that can’t be opened up right now!

[piggy momma]

Originally Posted by weaverbeaver

I can relate to this. I often thought why am I here, why not just leave but leaving is so hard.
Staying is easier for me because if I left it would open up a huge gaping abandonment wound that can’t be opened up right now!

Yes!! I’m glad someone gets it. I want to leave, but even if I’m the one doing the leaving, I will feel massively abandoned and rejected because HE let me leave (and really I just want him to hold me hostage to therapy).

[annielovesbacon]

I think this is me too. I'm not making progress and whether that's my therapist's fault or mine I probably shouldn't be wasting my time/money. But the thought of leaving my therapist whom I like quite a lot just feels like a lot more work than staying. I'm comfortable.

[ArtleyWilkins]

No. Actually, when I realized I didn’t need to go anymore, I was the one that started cutting back and then just stopped going. It wasn’t a major issue to end therapy once I was ready.

[musinglizzy]

YES! Me....

[Lemoncake]

It's not exactly the same thing, but I've been in a 2.5 year relationship where it just didn't feel right anymore and I could see that it hadn't been the same for a while. I told the other person how I felt but even then the other person wasn't willing to meet me half way and I felt like I was just being taken for granted. I asked myself was I happy and the answer was no. Yes it will be tough leaving and I cried on more than one occasion, but now even after 18 odd months. I don't feel like I'm not "over it" and I have wobbles, and miss that person but it doesn't feel like I'm trying to push a heavy weight up a hill.

[fallaximago]

I kinda want to leave my current situation with my therapist, I just feel we're not moving forward and it's been a while since we started working on my issues. I just can't bring myself to do it, though. I feel I might upset her. She's very nice, asks lots of questions and insists I've made significant progress (I don't agree with her on that) but I feel I need something different. Maybe a different "style" of psychotherapy, who knows? Ultimately, I believe that leaving is way more difficult than staying.

[koru_kiwi]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

No. Actually, when I realized I didn’t need to go anymore, I was the one that started cutting back and then just stopped going. It wasn’t a major issue to end therapy once I was ready.

agreed...when i no longer feared being alone or that i was going to be abandoned by my T and knew that i could survive life without him in it , when the overwhelming attachment and transference for my T had faded, i gradually worked my way towards ending therapy on my terms. because of this, my ending (leaving) was quite painless and overall felt quite empowering. it definitly was celebrated as significant boost to my healing.