Experiences of male therapists

My therapist is a man, but so am I, so I'm not sure whether my experience is particularly relevant. I haven't found gender to be significant litmus test for me in a therapist, having encountered therapists of varying competence levels across the gender spectrum. But I can certainly understand why it would be difficult or impossible for some women to trust a male therapist.

My current therapist is a man and I don't really care about his gender. He has managed to help me in ways other therapists haven't. My last two therapists were female one of which I really liked and I would still be with her if I didn't have raging PTSD regarding that place. The female after her was very dismissive and didn't seem to listen to me at all. If anything I am more likely to trust a man than I will a female.

I think it is just a personal preference he and I mesh really well together and I feel like I can and do talk to him about a lot of things including 'women things'.

There's no need to defend a preference. But I do think the interaction is different and gender can influence how therapy unfolds. This can make for either a more or less smooth alliance. I think it depends on how you relate to men/women in general, and what your therapy goals are. It could be a more comfortable sense also leads to a less challenging exploration. Or not! It is very individual.

My former T, 30+ yrs ago, was male. I didn't have a gender preference at the time, but came to realize that I needed the strength, the calm, and the experience of trusting a man. I needed the emotional restraint to balance my sense of emotion as overwhelming. I needed the male energy--not a psuedo-male feminist, squishy presence. But while I valued not feeling like my experience was co-opted by a female T as a shortcut towards understanding, it did force me to articulate my experience. It felt like more of a challenge at times, but I felt the reward was greater for it.

My current T is a woman. My goals are very different at this time. But I find she "has a spine" and doesn't align herself with my experiences. She's very competent, and warm, but she stays in her lane. I feel a sense of trust in her, but I don't feel any need for her. So it's a very different experience.

I think whichever way you choose will provide you with an experience in part influenced by your choice. But I don't think you can predict the course of the influence--it's something you experience.

I've had three therapists in different phases of my life, in each case I was looking for a female T because I feel more comfortable with women. I tried my first T on a turns out good recc, and the third one for convenience. I always consider trying a T and not committing until after some time, if ever. Even now after 9 years I'm only committed to the next session.

It has been good for me to work with men in therapy-- although the majority of my field is men and I have fine working relationships, and I was married to a man for a long time (mostly satisfying relationship)--building the kind of intimacy I have with this therapist has been very rewarding.

When I picked a T, it was a time in my life when I only considered a female T. She has been great, and I have not considered switching, but I would be open having a male T now. So if I ever needed a new T, I would be equally open and curious having a male T.