Experiences of male therapists

I am currently looking for a therapist and I've managed to find one who by the looks of things is very experienced and qualified and could be just what I need, except that he is male, and I've never had a male therapist.

I know its probably silly, but I just feel quite nervous and very reluctant at the thought of a male therapist and was wondering what other people's experiences have been of male therapists?

Sorry if this is a silly question.

That's the only way I'd go and I'm a female.
There is good and bad T's of both genders. It's not so much about male/female as much as it is about if they will work for you with what you need. Worth a try, you don't have to stick with them if you don't like them

I have issues with women, so I intentionally picked a male. There is many like me and many who have issues with men who pick women, and many who don't care either way. There's no right or wrong there.

I'd say, try it, see how he is, see what you think? See someone else if you are not ok with him

I am seeing a male therapist & my last therapist was also male. I also work with female therapists for group therapy & have seen female therapists in the past.

It tends to be more about the individual therapist than gender for me, but I admit that it is different. I get something different from sharing my sexual traumas with a male therapist vs. a female one. From a woman, it always feels like they can personally relate. My male therapist hasn't been there, hasn't been a woman, and so his perspective is just different.

That said, my female therapists are more emotional; though, I have seen other male therapists cry...so who knows.

It's really all about the individual. I would go, meet him, see how it feels before making and judgement calls.

I only see male therapists anymore. Just never had any luck with female therapists. I'm sure there are many great ones out there; unfortunately, I kept getting hold of inexperienced and really odd ones.

For me, it really was a matter of personality when it came to why the male therapists worked for me. I don't like to be coddled or treated as fragile, and that was what I was getting from female therapists. Too much over-sharing as a way to somehow tell me they "understood;" it just turned me off.

Male therapists, for me, were direct, supportive without being "mushy", strong without being intimidating. I was very comfortable talking to them about even the most sensitive topics, including sex. I found them good listeners and staunch advocates.

All that said, again, if I had found those qualities in a female therapist it would have been great. Just didn't happen, and I stopped bothering to waste more time and money after several failures.

I am female and see a male therapist, and I'm happy with him. I don't think I would feel very comfortable talking about my sex life in detail but that's not something that comes up in therapy for me. Now and then I have to point out to him ways that his experience is different from mine, but that is interesting because it makes me aware of how being a woman changes my perspective. Like I always feel like I need to prove I'm competent because people assume I'm not, he thinks the opposite.

It really depends on the person, though, what your past experiences and current issues are. I would say that if it's not an immediate no, then it's worthwhile to go see this T and see how it goes.

I interviewed two male ones and walked out of one early and had to fend off a hug by touchy-feely sensitive new age other one. I gave up on men. I found two women who were not emotional or mushy.

Ooh, yuck!

Indeed. It was like he was trying to channel Phil Donahue, Alan Alda and Stuart Smiley all at once. He started the appointment by declaring he was a feminist (I had not asked - it was not in response to anything I said). I should have left right then.

I have only seen a male therapist when my former T was out, like abroad or something and he was filling in. I liked him though and got along with him well. I would give a male T a try.

It's not a silly question.

The sex of a therapist is very important to me. I would never consider a male therapist as I would not feel safe being vulnerable with a man. Actually, I don't even like reading on this forum about female posters with male therapists.

There is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable with a male therapist. The therapeutic relationship is intimate and sometimes unpredictable, you need to feel comfortable. Feeling reluctant to work with a man is a valid response and not something you need to work through, change your mind about or ignore.

I get along well with men in general.

My T is male, I've never felt like it created any issues. I feel comfortable, like I can talk about everything, safe. I think it's an individual thing, depending on your experiences with men or women it can differ what you feel comfortable with. But I don't feel a male therapist will automatically be worse than a female.

Limp. Lacked imagination.

My T is also male. I actually feel more comfortable talking to him about certain topics like sex than I did with my ex-T, who was female (though she was my mom's age, so maybe that was related?) I tend to feel more comfortable talking to men in general (and always have). I say, give him a try and see how you feel. Like others have said, I think so much of it is about whether you click with a certain T and more about their style and personality than their gender.

I'm female, but I've often been told that my energy feels very masculine. Most of my close friends are men although I do have two close female friends. My (now deceased) therapist was an older gay man, and his energy was actually fairly feminine. We had an interesting dynamic. He taught me how to be more in touch with my feminine side, how to be softer and more vulnerable.

I've had male and female therapists in the past (more male than female), but never for more than 3 or 4 sessions. None of these other people worked out.

My conclusion is that most therapists are terrible, regardless of gender.

I am female. I've had male and female therapists, and I'm definitely more comfortable with a male. Even for super intimate sex things. It just feels safer to me.

Just as every person is different, so is every therapist. You may find the gender doesn't matter at all, and it's more who the person is that counts.

I've had good ones who were female
I've had good ones who are male

I've had horrid ones who were female
I've had horrid ones who were male.

I'm now looking for a good one, male or female.

My male therapist teetered between gooey performed sensitivity and contemptuous tyranny. It wasn't a good look. At worst though, women can be as patriarchal.

I have a male therapist. I find him to be kind, caring and empathetic. I feel safe around him. It might be a little harder to bring up sexual topics and "woman stuff" but he makes me feel at ease to do so. I've met with female therapists in a group, as a backup for my therapist while he was on vacation, and at an intake at a DBT place. I didn't click with any of them the way I have with my therapist. As others have said, it's more about the person than the gender.

I have had a strong preference for males in pretty much every area of life except maybe sexuality (I am female and bi). It tends to work out quite well. Had chosen men as both of of my Ts and I did not find therapy very useful but I am not 100% convinced that their gender played a main role in it. So, my conscious preference for most 1:1 partnerships is males (I come to PC mostly to challenge myself differently) - I feel more understood, comfortable, can find common grounds more easily with men. But I have not had so much success with therapists in general and I only tried males.

I have not seen a Male therapist personally and I never will. I just sing trust men. It takes m quite a while to trust a female therapist so cant imagine how long it would tKd to trust a male.

However I have Male coworkers who are males. I found they tend to be no nonsense, say exactly what they think and are not very touch freely

I'm a woman - Only seen the one T, he's male. I didn't ask for/want a male T and was surprised when he turned up to call me back the first time. He has one of those androgynous names and, for whatever reason, I just assumed he was a woman.

It's been fine. He's been helpful and empathetic and non-threatening. I don't talk about sex stuff or "woman's issues" much - I think I'd prefer a female T for that.

It's okay to not want to see a male T. They're pretty used to that, from what I've read. It's okay not to want to see a female T, too. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

My early childhood abuser was female so I only feel safe with male therapists. I tried female t’s in the past and didn’t work out.

Male t’s can be as caring and compassionate as any female t. If anything, I like that they don’t assume they know what my experience is like.

I think for a lot of females, they get anxious or shy etc about stuff like sex topics with their male T's. I get it.... but at the same time, it's been WAY easier for me than it would be with a woman. Again, I have issues with women though, so that's a huge factor.

I purposely picked a male therapist so that I could learn to trust a man who’s not sleeping with me.. it’s slowly starting to work. I should also say that I had a really great female therapist at one point.

I’m a woman with a male therapist and I think he’s great. Very compassionate and kind.

When I started therapy I didn’t care whether I had a man or a woman, but I had better experiences with the men that I tried out. The women I encountered I just didn’t resonate so well with, though I think this was likely just to have been chance. But I think I kind of prefer a male therapist now. Like growlycat, I appreciate that they seem less likely to assume what my experience is like..