[snarkydaddy]

My exposure to metal health began at 8 years old when I was taken by my parents to several psychiatrists across the country in the late 60's. This process lead to a diagnosis that I had dyslexia.... Moving fwd to the 80's my brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia... Approximately 3 years ago I was giving a diagnosis of PTSD...

After seeing 4 therapist and talking with 2 others I have come to this observation. Therapy is basically about 2 things. Being habilitated in interpersonal relationships about things that generally one would have been taught by parents, priests or others in responsibility at a developmental age. And dealing with mental illness. I am not sure there is a connection between the 2. But it does appear that the 2 do run side by side.

Personally I find the process of therapy to be like invasive surgery, a nessasary thing like dealing with heart disease if you expect to improve the quality of life and the lives of the ones you love...you do it & do not question it, but you do not have to like or enjoy it.

Thoughts on this? Your experiences?

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[Waterbear]

I agree with being habilitated about interpersonal relationships as care givers should have done in order to improve both my own self worth and life and my other relationships. That is exactly how I see it working for me. Although I am not sure I know exactly what habilitated means!!

However, I do it but I do question it and I do want to enjoy it, just as a child should enjoy the feelings it has for its care givers. Unfortunately not a lot of us were lucky enough to feel those good feelings.

[Sarmas]

I agree that therapy can be helpful. There are so many things that come into play. I think primarily one of the most important things is to have a "good" therapist. "Good" meaning whatever the individual characterizes that to be. I think for everyone it's different. It's hard to step into a session placing full trust on a therapist without questioning their expertise, goals, and intentions. I think it's important to be critical thinkers in every aspect of our lives. In the medical industry I question things as well and review my doctors before I see them. There are times that I go for a second opinion. It would be a fantastic thing to go into a session and place full trust but unfortunately not every therapist out there has earned that privilege.

Maybe therapy can be helpful. It seems sometimes it breeds narcissistic behaviors and attitudes in some people. A "poor me" mentality. Then the client gets stuck in that enabled by the therapist (who gets paid for it). I rarely see it end well. Sadly.

[stopdog]

I disagree that one does not get to or should not question major surgery. I do think it is valid to view therapy like a horrible and risky procedure that one may endure even where one does not enjoy it.
People go,for all sorts of reasons-not just relationship sorts of things or mental illness. I think that is too narrow. I think some therapists try to shoe horn every client into the category or area to fit the therapist's ideas.

[Perna]

People are individuals and there's no way a parent, just a normal, unsuspecting/untrained "adult" can know what a child, even their own child, may "need" and how to teach that to that new person. Parents are not all-wise or all-good/unselfish and have their own lives to live; feeling one's parents did not love/teach one enough is one's own perspective, not necessarily "Truth". My personal quirks got in the way of my initial learning growing up as did my mother's illness and death when I was a toddler, my stepmother's failing at not being my real mother, etc. It's not our parents fault we go to therapy; it's (hopefully) something we have decided to do because we think it might help us better understand ourselves and our lives and those around us. For me, therapy was a learning experience and I enjoy learning, even when the lesson is difficult. All's well that ends well; it's just Life.

[snarkydaddy]

I met with a psychologist yesterday, meeting for the first time... I was rather encouraged by this visit. I think I can now start to address some issues that were unable to be addressed else where. I now I will be able to get down to the business of recovery & not have to deal with other distractions that prevented me from focusing what my real issues are.

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[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

Maybe therapy can be helpful. It seems sometimes it breeds narcissistic behaviors and attitudes in some people. A "poor me" mentality. Then the client gets stuck in that enabled by the therapist (who gets paid for it). I rarely see it end well. Sadly.

Interesting
I never saw that from that perspective
Thx

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[snarkydaddy]

I just was finished up therapy and found this session very helpful. Really helped me wrap my head around acceptance issue I have been struggling with... Also helped with seeing another perspective which was alluding me... So all in all not bad at all today....

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[Lauliza]

I think this is a great description of what psychotherapy is likely most useful for. In my work, since it tends to be adolescent and family oriented, this is the focus. I also agree that it can be used for whatever the client ultimately wants. That said, at that point it becomes more subjective and therefore a bit of a toss up as to what kind of effect it will have on a client.

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[Argonautomobile]

The two side-by-side goals make sense to me, though my personal experience is probably better described as 'Learning to Adult'--but this is not everyone's experience and I've met people who found the idea offensive.

The surgery metaphor doesn't really resonate with me--I've often found therapy enjoyable. But I do like hearing about other people's experiences, and I'm glad you've found it helpful/useful in some way.

[snarkydaddy]

I think the "learning as adult" phrase is a good one... I use to use the phrase "missing information" which was offensive to some and switched to habilitation which I heard a mental health professional use in a lecture to describe the same... Indecently today I can say I a good session but I still did not find it enjoyable

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[here today]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

. . . I have come to this observation. Therapy is basically about 2 things. Being habilitated in interpersonal relationships about things that generally one would have been taught by parents, priests or others in responsibility at a developmental age. And dealing with mental illness. I am not sure there is a connection between the 2. But it does appear that the 2 do run side by side.

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The two different aspects makes sense to me, too. I've thought about it kind of in terms of disease and disability -- with the disability being something that you were born with and/or resulting from accident or trauma. For both kinds of physical problems you go to a doctor but with one there is medicine, with the other some type of "surgery" may be an apt description.

What has seemed to me to be missing is the habilitation. So even with therapy, lacking socialization of newly uncovered responses, people (like me) fail socially, causing additional "illness" in terms of depression, anxiety, etc.

[here today]

Originally Posted by puzzle_bug1987

Maybe therapy can be helpful. It seems sometimes it breeds narcissistic behaviors and attitudes in some people. A "poor me" mentality. Then the client gets stuck in that enabled by the therapist (who gets paid for it). I rarely see it end well. Sadly.

This has definitely been true in my (extraordinarily long) history with therapy. Finally out of it.

From everything I can tell about my situation, my sense of self or ability to develop one was damaged in childhood -- some just accidental medical trauma as well as family life. Life happens.

My last therapist said that I was "narcisssistically wounded and fragmented". So, without a healthy "skin" I was vulnerable to aspects of unhealthy narcissism in the therapists. Which probably everybody is going to have, maybe therapists more than normal because of the profession they are attracted to -- but saying "nobody's perfect" did nothing to help me build/grow a healthy "skin".

May be happening finally thanks in part to the therapy "surgery" but getting well from the last therapist's "infection" and "poison" has had a lot to do with support groups, in person as well as here on PC.

[dphoto]

Originally Posted by Perna

People are individuals and there's no way a parent, just a normal, unsuspecting/untrained "adult" can know what a child, even their own child, may "need" and how to teach that to that new person. Parents are not all-wise or all-good/unselfish and have their own lives to live; feeling one's parents did not love/teach one enough is one's own perspective, not necessarily "Truth". My personal quirks got in the way of my initial learning growing up as did my mother's illness and death when I was a toddler, my stepmother's failing at not being my real mother, etc. It's not our parents fault we go to therapy; it's (hopefully) something we have decided to do because we think it might help us better understand ourselves and our lives and those around us. For me, therapy was a learning experience and I enjoy learning, even when the lesson is difficult. All's well that ends well; it's just Life.

Hi Perna , I feel a little confused-and am probably working too hard to parse it. (And learning to not get on the defensive "whatcha talking bout willis train )

I agree that we're all different and not perfect. And for many years I've stated that part of growing up is learning to see your parents as adults.

I think where I had a strong reaction was " It's not our parents fault we go to therapy;". Can you please clarify your views for me?

In my case I have just over the last couple of years realized the far reaching damage my mother's overt actions and father's inaction caused my sister and me.

Thanks

[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

My exposure to metal health began at 8 years old when I was taken by my parents to several psychiatrists across the country in the late 60's. This process lead to a diagnosis that I had dyslexia.... Moving fwd to the 80's my brother was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia... Approximately 3 years ago I was giving a diagnosis of PTSD...

After seeing 4 therapist and talking with 2 others I have come to this observation. Therapy is basically about 2 things. Being habilitated in interpersonal relationships about things that generally one would have been taught by parents, priests or others in responsibility at a developmental age. And dealing with mental illness. I am not sure there is a connection between the 2. But it does appear that the 2 do run side by side.

Personally I find the process of therapy to be like invasive surgery, a nessasary thing like dealing with heart disease if you expect to improve the quality of life and the lives of the ones you love...you do it & do not question it, but you do not have to like or enjoy it.

Thoughts on this? Your experiences?

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I would not compare a dx of a LD with a dx of PTSD, as I too have both. I suppose if you want to go that route I was dx with mental giftedness at age 5 myself, in other words a school psychologist is not the same as psychiatrist. I'm thinking what you had was ASD as opposed to dyslexia.
Also you would need invasive heart surgery if you'd been neglecting your cardiovascular health.

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[snarkydaddy]

Oh I am not talking about a school psychiatrist. And the school system at the time was ill equipped to deal with what I had. My parents were the ones who had to carry the ball there.
I was talking about the clinical variety of psychiatrist at 2 university in 2 different states.

And the PTSD in my case was connected to sexual abuse... The LD just set me up for it. And yes after my meeting with a psychologist yesterday the odds of having ASP are looking rather Likely

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[leomama]

The school wasn't equipped to deal with my mental giftedness either. So I got a dx of my PTSD after my divorce courtesy of that send off. In my case my parents thought my iq was a win. I'm starting to wonder if it was higher then theirs. I'm going to have to ask.

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[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by leomama

The school wasn't equipped to deal with my mental giftedness either. So I got a dx of my PTSD after my divorce courtesy of that send off. In my case my parents thought my iq was a win. I'm starting to wonder if it was higher then theirs. I'm going to have to ask.

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My IQ did not save me either
In fact it probably got in the way...
Most ppl I know with high IQ's seem to have some sort of mental illness
The universe giveth and taketh away.

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[leomama]

Touché

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[Skeezyks]

Therapy has been pointless for me. As I once told one therapist I spoke with... I know what my options are. I just don't like any of them...

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Therapy has been pointless for me. As I once told one therapist I spoke with... I know what my options are. I just don't like any of them...

Ive heard someone else say that before as to why they attempted suicide.

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[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Therapy has been pointless for me. As I once told one therapist I spoke with... I know what my options are. I just don't like any of them...

I hear you... I did not like my options either and that put me in a bad place...I finally got help after a lot of drama created by me. Therapy is not a panacea but it does provide relief and perspective if you do the work. I suggest you try again what do you have to lose?

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[stopdog]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

Therapy is not a panacea but it does provide relief and perspective if you do the work. I suggest you try again what do you have to lose?

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I think this may be possible sometimes - but not always. And there can be a lot to lose - money, time, therapy actually can make things worse etc. So it can be useful, but it is not definitely or assuredly useful no matter how hard the client tries, and it is even possible for it to be harmful.

[leomama]

I've never gotten worse as the result of therapy.

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