Couch 184: Welcome to Zanzibar!

I know you're kidding, but of possible interest, I just had to complete a yearly ethics training and was told that as a physician at my particular hospital I am allowed to accept gifts of primarily sentimental value that cost <$25, though I am not allowed to accept gift certificates or straight-up money of any kind.

Not saying that this is how therapists handle things (they seem to all have different rules that vary based on training, temperament, phase of the moon, whatever), just saying that if *I* were your doctor I would totally accept those socks

Now you are just winding me up.

I have given my former PDOC socks and my GP handsoap from Bath and Body Works. I think not being able to accept a gift card is dumb. Some people want to say thanks but would have no idea what to gift.

The wind-up potential is simply a fortuitous byproduct of my Robin Williams fandom.

It's really nice that your therapist did that for you. However, I don't think therapist's owe it to clients to essentially subsidize or loan them money. If the therapist is in a position to do so AND chooses to, great, but I don't think it's very fair to judge those who do not. I can understand why Scarlet feels hurt, yet I would not characterize her therapist as being in the wrong for requiring certain payment for service terms be upheld. I have experienced both situations myself (received free/subsidized therapy, and had to leave a long term treatment relationship of 12 years because I couldn't pay).

I’d rather have a heartfelt thank-you note from a student or something handmade than a gift of any value.

People don’t have to give something of value to say thanks. And if whatever service, therapy or teaching or medical, is of any personal value, why put a value on it with a $50 gift?

I agree something heartfelt or handmade is better. I gave my T handmade Christmas cards every year. But I just think that if someone really wants to say thanks and doesn't know how, not being able to accept a gift card is really sad. I can just see someone wanting to give a Starbucks gift card or something and the provider saying, I can't accept that, and the client/student/patient/whomever, feeling like crap because their gift can't be accepted.

I always liked Williams' stand-up, but dislike his comedic roles in film. I only really like his villain roles in film, especially the remake of Insomnia. I liked Dead Poets, but more because of the other characters. And I liked him very much in The Fisher King, largely because the film is so well executed all around.

Originally, when I was seeing my T, she offered me a sliding scale. She didn't even offer it this time.

An hour and ten minutes left of work. I am having seriously bad cramps today. (The day started with a migraine and has just gone downhill from there.) I'm not even doing any work because I finished all my work, but I have to stay at work because a) I don't have any sick time left and b) you have to work the full shift before the holiday to get paid for the holiday. I just want this hour and ten minutes to fly by. Kit

I gave my t hand lotion, shower gel, and lip balm. She didn't even open it when I was with her, just said thank you and placed the gift on her desk. She acted extra therapist-like yesterday, she kept saying things like "let's dissect that statement" and "it sounds like you are making assumptions". She doesn't normally do a ton of that but yesterday was different. I have to admit I probably was making an assumption so I guess it's good she caught that.

Scarlet, i think its because right now, your life is not under your control, you are just going along with whatever your h says or does. And your h is not her client. KWIM? I totally get it - thats where i was mentally when i last got fired, then evicted - i did not have a plan, i was just overwhelmed, and somebody magic (like my mother, or unemployment) was gonna have to take care of me. But private ts dont do magic. They work with us when we are more grounded. When we are able to try.

A county t helped me get disability. Thats maybe why your t recommended the community service she did?

And I can understand if you had lit in your mind that it would always be an option. However, your therapist may now be at her limit with sliding scale clients and be unable to extend the offer to you at this time. Or, she may even have stopped doing sliding scale like my current psychiatrist.

Was really sick today and had to call in, I forgot how crappy working with public is, in terms of being sick more often

Thinking about Robin Williams makes me wonder how well Mork and Mindy has aged.

Sometimes I'll watch old(er) comedy series with my kids, wonder if they'd like it.

I'm hurt, but I'm not quitting T or anything. I talked to her today. Still hurt, but she says she does care and she reiterated that she wants to rewrite my story that not everyone abandons me.

una, I like the new picture.

I don't understand--an assumption that she has hands and lips and takes showers? That doesn't seem especially beyond the pale.

Not an assumption about the gift, an assumption about something I was discussing. She didn't even open the gift.

Ooooh I misunderstood--I thought you'd given it to her at a previous session and then yesterday she was acting as if your gift had made some kind of assumption. My bad!

That is one of my favorite movies, along with Shadowlands and Sex, Lies, & Videotape .

I am neutral about Robin Williams. I despised Dead Poet Society and never saw any of his other dramas. I have never even made it through a clip of good will hunting. I don't mind his stand-up but there are others I prefer more. Paula Poundstone for example.

I liked Dead Poets Society when it came out (I was in high school and wrote poetry). I watched it again as an adult non-poet and thought it was terrible.

I watched Good Will Hunting shortly after I started therapy and thought the movie was just okay but the way they show therapy seemed ridiculous to me. Like you just realize "Oh, that's my problem," have a good man cry and that's that, all fixed. It'd be nice if it were that quick, I guess.

Seeing my son today was great! But now I'm sitting here after work and the house feels all empty again. Oh well. I suppose it's just something I have to go through. So I am working on decluttering my house. Since I finished working today I worked on my kitchen some. It looks better already and has lifted my spirits some. I should go take a pic.

I second the Sex, Lies, and Videotape! Though I felt really weird admitting to my T that it's one of my favorite movies. It's the dialogue though. Not the sex! Well, and James Spader...