Couch 184: Welcome to Zanzibar!

YouTube!

We've fixed many things thanks to YouTube.

Good luck.

A League of Their Own. Fun movie.

ETA: I see Art beat me to it.
As long as I'm at it, Art, I like your tree. So cheerful. It's darling.

In the spirit of our last session i am looking at my feelings about the hairdresser and as well as its also i dont feel like i deserve to get my haircut.

Going to my sister's Sat-Mon. I'm starting to not want to go. I don't like my bro-in-law much. There's five children which is a lot, but I love seeing them, but they are sometimes a lot (like a lot of noise, a lot of fighting, etc). Going to be at my parents home for Christmas day which will be good and my parents are going to my sister's too so the whole family will be together. I just am not looking forward to the trip. I know it's only three days and I can survive three days. But recently I did three days at a friends house and that was a bit long and a bit much. I think I will end up feeling the same. I want to stay home and sleep but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and unless I'm sick I don't think that will be a viable option. Plus I'm sure it will be fun to see the children open the presents I got them. I'm rambling. I just don't feel like going ATM. I will probably feel less and less like going the closer it gets to Christmas. Kit.

BlessedCheeseMaker

I ate too many Christmas cookies today. Kit

Leaving Mom's house in Texas tomorrow morning. Packed up and shipped the few things I wanted. It'll be good to get back home, I've been gone for a month. Still can't believe she isn't with us anymore. Just empty.

hugs mobiuspsyche

Well! My overtime got increased today... i'll be working a total of 61 hours this week once Saturday's over! holy moly. We are so swamped right now on my team. Next week I'm working 10 hours on Christmas Eve, 4 hours on Christmas day, and 11 hours each Wed, Thurs, Fri and then 8 hrs on Saturday. Yikes!

I don't know what SHE'S so tired from! Haha!

Heard back from ex-MC. Trying to decide how I feel about what he said.

I am one with the sofa...OM...

Yep!
(8 char)

For the record, he said:
LT,
I am sorry it has been so difficult for you this past year. And i appreciate that you have been sticking in there with Dr. T. I think that is the right thing to do and definitely shows some real strength on your part. I am sorry that it was so painful when we stopped working together, and I want you to know that did enjoy and valued working with you and H. I wish you and H all the best in the future.
--Ex-MC

“Mistakes were made.”

Eh - not necessarily. To make an omelette, ya know.

Was referring to his tone.

With ex-MC? Just clarifying.

He also mentioned H in two of the sentences. Like trying to be all "boundaried marriage counselor."

Yeah, like “I am sorry that it was so painful...” rather than “I am sorry if/that I did anything to increase that pain.” (Which he did.)

It’s like saying to the pedestrian you just hit, “I am sorry being hit by a car is so painful.”

It also sounds very final.

I heard finality in it as well. Hugs, LT.

Yes, I think that's why I'm having trouble figuring out how to feel about it (it also arrived a half hour before I was leaving to meet my dad for Christmas shopping--home now). It's somewhere between what I really wanted him to say, but knew he wouldn't ("I'm sorry I hurt you") and what I was afraid he'd say ("Please don't contact me again" or some form of that). I don't think it really gave me "the fix" that T was talking about. I think it would be easier to figure out how to react to if it was one of those extremes.

And I think my reaction to my T's response just now to my letting him know ex-MC had emailed was at the same level as my reaction to ex-MC's email. And that was just:
"LT,
I’m glad you got a response and I hope shopping with your dad was a good experience today. See you Thursday!"

I think because that's in the present. While ex-MC is in the past. And also (sorry Stopdog), exclamation point!

It’s a technique I’ve noticed in therapist communications, a kind of distancing. “I’m glad you got” vs. “that’s great!” “I’m sorry that you were hurt” vs. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Not all the time, but it’s common enough to be notable.

Yep, I've noticed the same. And I even said to T yesterday that I didn't want ex-MC saying something conditional, like, "I'm sorry if you felt hurt." Where he takes no responsibility. We did have one session where ex-MC said that no one can be responsible for another person's feelings. And I said what if I'd said something really awful to H, and he said it was still on H, not me. (Or something like that.) Which I don't think is true. I mean, wouldn't that mean that, say, bullies have no responsibility? Yes, I'm partly responsible for my feelings, but if someone is awful to me, they can't be like, "Oh, but your feelings are all on you!"