[MRT6211]

So a couple of months ago, I posted on here (I’d link it, but I deleted it because the thread went south quickly) about how I had reported my former T, the one that let me go home on the day of my suicide attempt, to the Office of Professional Discipline. Well, I just got a call from them, and they found her guilty of misconduct and are recommending disciplinary action. I’m a little shocked, to be honest. After getting feedback here, I had convinced myself that they wouldn’t find her guilty/that I was overreacting. But this was incredibly validating to hear she was guilty, I have to say. I knew that in my heart, I had countless family members and professionals tell me she was guilty, but this was like the ultimate validation. But...I still have mixed feelings about it. I feel bad that she’s going to have a ding on her license. I hope that she gets re-training as her disciplinary action (the action itself is TBD), I don’t want her to lose her license or anything, I just want her patients to be safe. I honestly just don’t know how to feel right now. Part of me feels like celebrating, but the other part of me is plagued with guilt, because this probably really messed up her life. :/

[Out There]

You must have really mixed feelings about this , nice to have validation and vindication for what happened on one hand , but feeling guilty on the other. Your Ex T brought this on herself by her own actions , which she is responsible for. So I hope that helps with processing this , and do be kind to yourself. We can often be very agreeable and don't make a fuss when we're treated badly , so try to see it as a positive step in healing.

[SlumberKitty]

I can understand the mixed feelings. That would be a difficult situation. She's responsible for her actions, and the officials determined that she did something wrong. You aren't responsible for the outcome. I can understand not knowing how to feel. Just remember you feel what you feel and those feelings may vacillate and that's okay. HUGS Kit

[SalingerEsme]

You could have died, and making sure she understands the gravity of her decisions and reminding her the path she chose to walks through life includes fragile patients seems good. The boards seem prone to take the T's sides, so I am sure she got more than a fair hearing. Maybe this isn't her first misjudgment; maybe she will live, learn, and save someone's life or many lives over the remainder of a long career. She is trained in self care, has access to therapy- you spoke up.

[AceRimmer]

Offices of Professional Discipline are usually a joke. It must have been really bad for them to find against your therapist. She will probably just get a slap on the wrist anyway.

No reason for you to feel guilty... your T is the one who should.
This is good news. I am glad you have been validated.

[Taylor27]

This is great news, no need to feel guilty that t should. I hope she gets more then a slap on the wrist hugs

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by MRT6211

So a couple of months ago, I posted on here (I’d link it, but I deleted it because the thread went south quickly) about how I had reported my former T, the one that let me go home on the day of my suicide attempt, to the Office of Professional Discipline. Well, I just got a call from them, and they found her guilty of misconduct and are recommending disciplinary action. I’m a little shocked, to be honest. After getting feedback here, I had convinced myself that they wouldn’t find her guilty/that I was overreacting. But this was incredibly validating to hear she was guilty, I have to say. I knew that in my heart, I had countless family members and professionals tell me she was guilty, but this was like the ultimate validation. But...I still have mixed feelings about it. I feel bad that she’s going to have a ding on her license. I hope that she gets re-training as her disciplinary action (the action itself is TBD), I don’t want her to lose her license or anything, I just want her patients to be safe. I honestly just don’t know how to feel right now. Part of me feels like celebrating, but the other part of me is plagued with guilt, because this probably really messed up her life. :/

She slammed into the universal force called karma. Step aside and let it work its magic. That's my two cents anyway.

[Ididitmyway]

I'd let go of the guilty part if I were you. I'd feel like celebrating only and wouldn't feel bad about it.

I had my own celebration when the board reprimanded my former T for his unethical actions and I didn't feel guilty one bit about reporting him. In my case though, he didn't lose his license. He was just put on probation for 5 years, which means he could still practice, as long as he fulfilled a number of requirements, which was to submit regular reports about his practice to some monitoring agency, to undergo personal therapy and to submit reports from his therapist to the board, to complete extensive course on professional laws and ethics, to pay the full fees of the board's investigation, to inform his employer(s),interns and new clients of his license probation status. Needless to say, he also had to pay for his required therapy and educational courses.

I urge you to look at this event differently. You are not the one who got her in trouble. She did it to herself through her irresponsible actions. You had the right to report her and it's great that you did it, because I believe taking civic or legal actions against those who harmed us is one of the most empowering and healing things we can do for ourselves. Please, do not take the burden of her problems on yourself. Her burden doesn't belong to you. It is hers and hers only. Let her do her own work. This would be a great opportunity for her to do some important personal work and, if she chooses to do so, to make her life better ultimately. But that is entirely her choice and has nothing to do with you and your own life's path. So, I'd say, let go of her issues completely and celebrate the emotional freedom you'll get as a result.

I, actually, remember vaguely you posting about it and how many invalidating and judgmental comments your post got. I thought it was unbelievable how many people were so eager to defend your therapist. Very disturbing..

[MRT6211]

I was looking at past misconduct discipline and I assume her charge is going to go under gross incompetence and/or negligence. That, or she had multiple counts of incompetence or negligence, I don’t think I’d be privy to that information yet. From the other charges I saw rendered, it appears that I can expect a suspension of license, probation after the suspension is done, and a fine, most likely. I don’t imagine they’d revoke her license. I don’t think they should, either. I just want her to be held accountable. I struggle a bit with this, because I am going to be a physician in a few years and I can’t stop thinking about how I’d feel if this happened to me. But, at the same time, I hope I’m never this grossly negligent...it was all about billable hours for her. She let me go after I told her exactly what I was going to do, had written a suicide note, and asked to go to the hospital/came to session with my bags packed. I very, very nearly died/spent a week in a coma. She was worried about billable hours. It’s sad. I know in my heart that I did the right thing, but I really hope the penalty isn’t too severe.

[MRT6211]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I, actually, remember vaguely you posting about it and how many invalidating and judgmental comments your post got. I thought it was unbelievable how many people were so eager to defend your therapist. Very disturbing..

Yeah, it was a little brutal. I got really dysregulated over that, but it ended up in a good conversation with T about it, so I guess it all ended up okay in time. I think I also did not explain myself well. It’s a whole complicated story and I may have not said it right. What bothered me the most there was one someone said it sounded like I was making stuff up. That was just really insulting and upsetting, and I don’t see what I’d ever have to gain from posting and lying about something like that lol. It’s all in the past now, though. Thank you for your whole response, you’re very right, I shouldn’t take on that burden, she did do this to herself. She knew better.

It takes strength to do what you did.

I remember your thread, and it was clear that your T didnt adhere to the clinical standard. I'm sorry your reaching out here led to some unempathetic responses, but the responsibility is on them. I sometimes have to remind myself that members here may be in therapy due to related issues.

One thing to think about is the possibility of being triggered throughout your career since you will likely experience similar behaviors as her colleagues at the clinic. Covering up medical mistakes is common. I personally could not work in the industry due to PTSD, being around others who distort things surrounding someone in danger. Just thought that might be something to think about addressing before you finish your studies rather than later.

Your whole experience sounds traumatizing. I'm sorry you went through this.

Take care.

[AllHeart]

Thank you and good for you for holding this t accountable for her actions when she could not take the accountability on her own. You are not ruining her life. If anything, you are helping to make her life better. She will be forced to see how her actions (or lack there of) affect her clients so she won’t make the same mistakes. She will have to take appropriate steps to become a better t. Her life would be ruined if a client actually ended their life because of her. Be proud. You did a great thing for many people in this world.