I think my T dumped me.

I don't want to start over with a new T either, and I feel that my last T also kind of dumped me -- in a strange way, as she left my city and then returned and let things kind of trail off.

However, is it possible that your reluctance to start over is "the depression talking?"

If you WERE to find a great new T, then talking about the trauma stuff again would be painful, but you and your new T would form a better team in order to tackle your issues. IF that did happen, you could make scads of progress and come out the other side, renewed and restored. Personal growth IS possible in therapy with the right match between the client and the professional. I believe that can happen because I've seen it work and seen tremendous personal growth occur. It's happened to me!

And your T sounds like a real cold fish to me. Just my $.02.

So, I saw my T today. She had a cancellation and offered me the spot. And it was good. Really, really good.

She felt my frustration, but had honored my decision to stop. And then honored my decision to reengage. We talked about my need for reassurance and validation, and oddly enough, just talking about it was both reassuring and validating for me.

When I step back and look at the big picture, I realize that she treats me like an adult and isn't afraid to call me on my stuff. And I kind of need that at this point in my life. I felt like I was being respected enough to do the heavy lifting for myself.

Anyway, I feel good about things, and motivated to work hard. I even found myself brining up issues in my past that I never, ever thought I would be able to talk about.

Thank you to all of you for your support. Now I will go back to my usual lurking. Maybe I'll post again in a few years.

Gretchen

I think the contrast between the interpretation of events as revealed in your thread title and in your characterization now is really astonishing-- like in a really good way. It's great to see that kind of transformation that can be revealed from discussing an issue in therapy. Seems like a real aha moment. Or moments.