Therapist is always a few minutes late.

My therapist is always at least 5 minutes late but no later than 10 minutes. But she always ends on time. When I exit I always check the time and it's always at 50minute if not a minute or 2 earlier.
Idk how to bring it up without feeling like I'm being petty. :/

It's an office where you sign-in and the assistant phones her. It doesn't matter if I show up right on the dot or 15 minutes early.

Last week she emphasized we only have 50 minutes a week, but like not really right?

I don't think it's personal though. I've gone to her group sessions and she regularly started late but ended on time there too.

I honestly can't remember if in the past 6 months she's retrieved me from the waiting room before 5 minutes. In this time I've also watched other clients come in, sign in, and wait no longer than a minute or 2 before they're retrieved.

I'm really just not sure how to word it, or bring the topic up as I'm awful at communicating already and bringing stuff up unprompted or unless it's related to something we discuss.

Also maybe should mention my psychiatrist(same office) is always late. But It feels easily forgivable as she has gone longer than our scheduled 25minute session, has still tried to give me 25-minutes when I was late, and I don't mind that she's running a bit behind because she was finishing up with another client.

I feel like because it doesn't bother me with my psychiatrist it shouldn't bother me with my therapist.

That would bother me too. My T is often a few minutes late but we usually go late, or sometimes he’ll end early and it bothers me but I don’t say anything because we do go late sometimes, and he allows contact between sessions at no charge so I still feel like I’m getting my hours worth.

I do think it’s important to bring up, so maybe something along the lines of “I noticed we usually start late but always end on time. Is there something I can do to ensure we always start on time so I get my full 50 minutes?” I would put it on me and not say “you’re always late” (even tho that’s actually the case). Hopefully something like that will get her thinking about how her punctuality affects her clients.

I would approach your therapist about it. Just mention that you have been noticing that you are not getting the 50 minutes of time. Explain to her what you told us here. I think it is reasonable to not be angry/annoyed with the psychiatrist because she makes up for the missed time.

For certain awkward situations in life, I've developed what I call "stock lines" to use and that helps me out.

I often open by saying, "I find this kind of uncomfortable (or awkward), so I am just going to jump right in." That helps me get primed. Then, I blurt out what it is that's on my mind. But I try to "own" the observation as well. So in this case I might say:

"I'm finding this topic a little unsettling (awkward, whatever word you'd like) so I am going to jump right in. I've noticed that the last couple of sessions, we've gotten started about 5 to ten minutes later than the appointment should begin.

OR:

I've noticed that we don't really get into the swing of things until 5 to 10 minutes past my start time. I'm having a tough time with that, as the time that I spend here is really precious to me -- I'm pretty serious about my therapy with you. Would it be possible for us to start on time, going forward?"

Just my two cents worth. Good luck to you!!

Why can't you just say exactly as it is? I could never understand this need to wrap what people want to say in a pretty cover or else they are afraid to come across as rude or whatever. You are objectively pointing out to some fact that takes place. There is nothing personal about it. You are not petty. You have the right to do that because you pay for a certain amount of time and are entitled to get it. You are not accusing the T of anything horrible, not making a big deal out of this. No reasonable person would take offense if you let them know that they've been habitually late and that it takes away from your session time and that you'd like to have all the session time you are supposed to have. If they take it personally, it's their problem, not yours.

It's not just that I'm afraid of seeming rude or petty, but that there have been numerous times where I was made to feel awful or was punished for simply not saying something the "right" way or used the wrong tone. Like right now I'm kind of heartbroken over a friendship. I loaned my best friend money, and while there was no rush on being paid back they've completely ignored me and have basically tossed me aside. I know I did nothing wrong, and was careful the way I approached the situation but still can't help feeling disposable and awful.

This is therapy, not a friendship, and you should not have to say things the "right way" to be heard. I think it's better to just express yourself directly: "It bothers me that we never start on time. I feel like I'm not getting my full session."

Also I would not mess around with the "what can I do to get you to start on time" approach mentioned above. You are not responsible for other people's behavior, this is her problem to figure out.

I'm always on time and I hate it when people are routinely late, I find it really disrespectful. Especially if I'm paying them.

Or if for some reason she just has trouble starting on time, just asking if she can be sue you get your full 50 minutes, because that's what you and/or your insurance are paying for.

There's nothing petty about wanting to get the full session time you deserve. You're being completely reasonable, and it's very strange that she's allowing her lateness to impact you this way.

Then this is a great opportunity to learn how to not take negative reactions from others personally and to accept the idea that their reactions have nothing to do with you. I am not telling you how to feel and I perfectly understand that rejection hurts, but this is the part of life you will never be able to control no matter how much effort you put into trying to find the "right" tone or the best timing or the best wording. Certain things we need to bring up in conversations are de facto confrontational and, as such, they don't feel good no matter how much we try to sugar coat them. But it is what it is.

There is also nothing wrong with serving up negative reactions with a a dose of civility.

I actually really like this approach. Direct and to the point, without being rude.