[DP_2017]

Yesterday the T I saw had me sign papers agreeing to no between session contact aside from scheduling stuff. I am 100% ok with it because even though it's nice to have those things, I know it wont help me at all. It does more harm than good for me.

However, from reading on here as often as I do, I feel like most therapists allow contact to some degree if it's needed, besides just scheduling. Is what I signed yesterday like rare in therapy or are there others out there who do it?

[atisketatasket]

I’ve seen seven therapists and four didn’t do outside contact except for scheduling.

I don’t think I ever had to sign anything, though.

[feralkittymom]

I've never come across a T in private practice who had a blanket no contact policy. They all seemed to handle it individually as situations came up. But I do wonder if that attitude is "old school."

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I've never come across a T in private practice who had a blanket no contact policy. They all seemed to handle it individually as situations came up. But I do wonder if that attitude is "old school."

Maybe, it was private practice and he was a old dude. LOL

[atisketatasket]

Are you using insurance? Three of the ones of mine who didn’t do outside contact took insurance. They wouldn’t be paid for outside contact, so they didn’t do it.

[Omers]

I have worked with several T’s and some have had no contact while others, like my current T encourage it but warn they may not always reply. Some also had a fee if contact between sessions went over X number of minutes. Who knows.

[DP_2017]

Ya I am using insurance.

[downandlonely]

No one ever made me sign anything, but I didn't contact any therapists for any reason other than scheduling.

[JaneTennison1]

I had a rough history with t2.when I complained about her she brought up every email to the complaints board and used parts when I said I felt like a terrible person to "prove" I was difficult etc.

I will never email a t like that again and I feel like a no or low contact policy is probably a good thing to protect both sides from hard feelings or misunderstandings.

I do get the urge to process by writing as that is how I process and have emailed current t maybe 5 times in 2 years. I resist the urge though most times as waiting for a reply ends up being too consuming.

[downandlonely]

oh yeah, intense emails are a risk. I never thought of that.

[DP_2017]

Originally Posted by JaneTennison1

I had a rough history with t2.when I complained about her she brought up every email to the complaints board and used parts when I said I felt like a terrible person to "prove" I was difficult etc.

I will never email a t like that again and I feel like a no or low contact policy is probably a good thing to protect both sides from hard feelings or misunderstandings.

I do get the urge to process by writing as that is how I process and have emailed current t maybe 5 times in 2 years. I resist the urge though most times as waiting for a reply ends up being too consuming.

I get that and I didn't email much at all when I did with T. It was 2x a week at most in "rough weeks" but I always felt like it was exhausting and too much and caused more anxiety than needed....plus it helped fuel the feelings.

I have switched to journaling instead and its often helpful.

[lesliethemad]

I think that most Ts are very limited contact out of session for many reasons unless they are trained for it like DBT therapists.

I interviewed a lot of therapists and the majority didn't allow outside contact unless you paid for it. That seems to be common in my area. I think a lot of people don't like to do therapy over email and I know in my state, it wasn't allowed actually for a long time. (Now my insurance company is pushing teletherapy- probably cheaper for them).

Considering my last therapist- who to be clear started emailing me, not vice versa- i can see where emails can actually hamper progress unless SKILLFULLY handled. Otherwise I think you can run into dependency issues and focusing energy outside of the therapy room instead of bringing it in.

I've always been given paperwork when meeting with new therapists. Some are quite long- especially if you are paying with insurance. And I think my state has a couple forms to sign as well. I think the paperwork is a good sign. And because I am quiet and withdrawn, and because of the brain damage, it's really useful for me to just be able to give a little written intro to myself. That's how i did the 8 sessions I did to just hash out my anger over my last T. I felt like I gave enough info to get things rolling, got a lot of reaffirmation, learned about cycles of abuse and being a frog in a pot of boiling water, and was able to walk away after 8 hours doing better but not needing any more. I didn't develop any attachment or guilt issues. Had no outside contact or emails with the short term therapist. And most days I don't even remember everything I talked about. Word vomit.

I see my psychiatrist in private practice and we do email for scheduling purposes and we do therapy on the phone every once in a while which I pay for- usually 125 for about 25 minutes. He's the only one who didn't take a lot of info from me in the beginning, but I think he has a lot more leeway in private practice. Instead we did like an almost 2 hour intake session, which he talked and asked a lot of questions, explained what therapy is, expectations, asked me what I wanted to work on, what my goals for success would look like. Lots of explaining what good therapy between us would look like. It took a really bad therapist for me to appreciate the things a good therapist does.

[stopdog]

I never filled out any paperwork past name and address. I simply would not have done it. I have also always written or called a therapist if I had a reason. I would not hire one who had any sort of blanket prohibition against it.

[InnerPeace111]

I have no idea if my T allows for between session contact aside from scheduling matters. I simply don’t contact her between sessions for anything other than scheduling. It works well for us. I get my time between sessions to reflect and try new things while she gets time away from me in order to focus on her other clients, her own self-care, and the rest of her life. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Not mine but I think it might have been better for me, given that everyone sticks to it. Do you think he did it specifically for you, knowing a bit about the loose boundaries in your past therapy?

[MessyD]

I’ve never signed anything like that and I’ve never really asked about the rules around it. He contacted me by text so I assumed that’s the way to go if I need something. I use it mostly for scheduling and sometimes I send a short message if something is troubling me but other than that I haven’t contacted him. I don’t really think he has a strict policy about it.

[Ididitmyway]

It's not uncommon for therapists to have this policy. The majority of them don't do that, but quite a few do. It's a matter of what their philosophy is and also their personal preference. Some have a very strong sense that their professional life should not continue outside their office doors under any circumstances.

[piggy momma]

I’ve never signed anything like that but I’ve never had a T who didn’t allow contact between sessions.

I’m obviously not a T, but I think it would make good “business sense” to put it in writing along with all other office policies. I can’t remember what I signed with my current T but I do remember a paragraph he has in that if you abuse him or his family members he will terminate immediately. It was a pretty thorough document; I actually edited and proof-read it for him before he implemented it, but I don’t recall anything about contact, maybe because he allows it.

I'd run for the hills before I signed something so blunt as that.

[Anne2.0]

I do think most therapists allow between session contact. Although I can and have texted and emailed my T for scheduling purposes, he prefers phone calls for substantive interaction. Whether or not he allows substantive written communication I do not know as I do not want that.

[Taylor27]

I have never come across that before, I think it's good he is upfront at first and it gives the person the choice if it will work for them to know that they cannot contact the t unless it schedual purposes. Me i like to know I can phone my t if i have to and i never phone him unless I need to. I really would not like working with a therapist who had that in place. Some people like it.

[JaneTennison1]

Current t explained it like, if I email or text she might be doing other things or distracted but in session I have her attention and presence 100%. When put like that it was easy to be enough

[DP_2017]

Ya typically I would hate this type of thing but I need everything opposite of before so it's good for me.

I am thinking the Monday guy will be similar, he has "Staff" that do all the scheduling (which I already dont like) so he's probably not much of communicator with clients beyond the office

[toomanycats]

I've never had to sign something that explicitly said no between-session contact; however, most of the therapists I've seen did not allow between-session contact. I explicitly went looking for it after having it with my ex-T and realizing I would need it if I was really going to get into my trauma stuff.

[piggy momma]

Originally Posted by DP_2017

Ya typically I would hate this type of thing but I need everything opposite of before so it's good for me.

I am thinking the Monday guy will be similar, he has "Staff" that do all the scheduling (which I already dont like) so he's probably not much of communicator with clients beyond the office

We sound quite similar. I’ve always avoided Ts with “staff” - I prefer that direct, confidential communication with no intermediary. Even tho it’s their job, the one encounter I had just made me uncomfortable and unsettled. It sounds like you have a good idea of what you need, so good job.