Couch 189: The Oxford Couch

All of my anger that I've expressed at him, so far is just because I'm angry at myself for going back to the house again, especially after Christmas- but I just wanted comfort, I mainly went because I wanted to see him in person, because I forgot what he smelt like. The last day that I was there my father was swearing at me and I cried in the car. And as usual R was stupid and nice which I can't stand. He tells me that I'm special and that I have value and he's said it so many times that I started believing him too.





The contrast is just so strange.

Are you in your final year?

Can you make an anonymous compliant or provide anonymous feedback to the head of the university?

Artie, I don't know if I'm going to be able to tolerate this "yest" business.

I'm already qualified and I'm topping my qualification up to a higher qualification and yeah, I graduate for the final time in the summer.

Basically I was essentially gaslighted by a tutor last year and low and behold SHE has chosen to be my supervisor for a project. Which I see as vindictive and borderline abusive. I told the head of the course about this and he insinuated this is me being difficult, bringing up am email I sent him 2 years ago that he had forgotten the details of. In his memory, I had complained about another staff member. This is not true. What actually happened is that T1's wife appeared on the staff list, and I, in confidence, told him about what had happened with T1 and said I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to be teaching me directly because of the conflict of interest. I felt like he threw that trust back in my face by misremembering it and bringing it up to insinuate I was just being difficult.

I feel like I just need to get my head down, get finished and get out. I might consider a complaint later, I don't know.

My apologies. I tend to abbreviate when on my phone. "Yesterday". Is that better?

Do you have cookies too?

Something a bit similar came up with T yesterday when he sad he was concerned if I'm often upset after sessions. I said how part of it was big things often coming up in the last 10 minutes, which is often my doing, but sometimes he'll say something that bothers me right near the end (often because I'm misunderstanding it), but then there's no time to discuss it. Or else I don't realize it bothers me until I get in the car. He said maybe we could try talking about lighter stuff near the end. I said maybe, but then what if something big came up with 11 minutes left? I said it was really more about not having some new big thing right at the end. We're going to talk more about how to deal with that next session. That's also a big part of why I sometimes end up emailing him, because of something that came up right at the end and want to clarify it in the hopes of calming myself.

In the past, we also discussed his teaching me more mindfulness/calming techniques (he's demonstrated a couple brief breathing ones), so may need to bring that up again. Does anything like that help you, Lemon?

As much as I wanted to quit my Astronomy class last weekend, I'm kinda enjoying it now. (I know, I'm a mess.) Reading about ancient astronomy is fascinating. And we have the field trip coming up to Kitt Peak Observatory, not far from here, next month. It's on a Sunday so I won't have to miss work to go. We can bring a guest, so I asked H if he wanted to go and he said "Sure". (He's off on Sundays). And prof just graded the module 2 discussion posts and I scored 120% again. I am doing more than required on those because writing comes easily to me unlike the other stuff so I'll take my points where I can get them!! My other grades on things are in the 80% range for the most part except that one 67% or whatever and one 33% both of which threw me into my tizzy. Hoping they'll balance out if I stay in the 80% range. I'm starting to relax about it, believe it or not, the advice from the couch was very helpful in that regard, and trying to just letting myself learn for the pleasure of learning and not worry about the grades so much.

Back to studying....

I wouldn't want to work with my T's wife either. But this is not you being difficult. Kick up a fuss. You are the one paying to get another qualification and given that you've already made them aware of the situation, unless she is the only supervisor available you should not have to work with someone you don't want to. Avoid toxic people like the plague.

Does your uni have a student support center?

I’ve just registered for macroeconomics in the first summer term and microeconomics in the second.

I know nothing about economics and it makes me feel ignorant. I at least want to learn enough to get economist jokes.

I’ve just registered for macroeconomics in the first summer term and microeconomics in the second.

I know nothing about economics and it makes me feel ignorant. I at least want to learn enough to get economist jokes.

He has agreed to find me another supervisor because I stuck to my guns even when he tried to pressure me to resolve it with her. He said "she's not one to bear grudges". I said "it's not her grudge to bear".

I’ve just registered for macroeconomics in the first summer term and microeconomics in the second.

I know nothing about economics and it makes me feel ignorant. I at least want to learn enough to get economist jokes.

Artie, I don't know if I'm going to be able to tolerate this "yest" business. 😂