Misunderstanding of intent

Misunderstanding of intent of other people is something I often struggle with , particularly with trauma. Maybe I've come to a sort of conclusion that some people cannot read cues , like I don't like this , or I don't want you to do this , and don't realise that what they're doing will annoy people. Then I end up getting worked up about it. So any perspectives will be welcome before it becomes grist for the mill tomorrow with my T.

I have autism on top of CPTSD so I can REALLY screw up subtle cues. I have also learned though that cues are very ‘cultural’. There are a set that are understood in the culture of my family, there are a set that are understood in my home state of N.Y., there are a set that my close friends know are quirks of mine... so it is hard to generalize questions across contexts. I know it helps me if I can figure out why the behavior bothers me rather than focusing on the other person being too daft to pick up on even my least subtle of cues.

I may be very primitive and lacking in understanding about this, but it doesn't matter a whole lot to me what someone's intent was. If I get hurt or annoyed, then I am hurt or annoyed. It may be easier for me to just "get over" if it becomes clear it wasn't their intent. And/or, if it wasn't their intent then maybe it's easier for them to hear that I am annoyed and maybe, possibly, avoid doing the same thing in the future. Though if it's a kind of automatic response in them, AND they can't read cues (as I think I can't very well), or if they respond with excessive guilt if I try to talk to them about it, then they may continue to do the same things over and over again anyway. Or else get very guarded, which is not necessarily what I want either.

It's been so repetitive for me it's annoying and it hits not respecting boudaries. I hope it will stop with these particular people. It's always good to get some perspective on these things , thanks for your replies.