Has the therapist ever told you how rare, unique, special or brave etc. you are?

There are often references to therapists telling clients how much X(whatever special thing) they are in relation to others. I think it is a technique they use and that they do it to most if not all clients.
Has the therapist ever told you how rare, unique, special or brave etc you are?

I’ve gotten brave. As I don’t regard sitting in an office talking to a late-middle-aged woman brave and I can wax eloquent on the subject, they probably sussed out from my reaction that further such compliments would not help their cause.

Yes, particularly in reference to resilience and strength of my marriage commitment and parenting skill. It wasn't an act or fake or technique. He was absolutely right. I am resilient, committed to my marriage, and a fantastic parent. LOL! I don't particularly care if he compliments other clients on their positive qualities also. Don't we all deserve a bit of recognition and validation of our positive qualities? It doesn't take but a sentence to honor someone for their positive qualities; it isn't as if this dominates anyone's therapy time.

No, he once said my email was brave. He never said I was brave. The only thing he's said about me is that I was smart. We would narcissistically bond over how much smarter we were than other people.

Not that i can remember. She probably knows I would roll my eyes at her.

oh yeah I have gotten that "You are Brave" thing for going to therapy and talking about myself. I cry bull....just something they tell everyone.

No, and if he had I would have burst out laughing!!

No, my former T and my current T has never said any such things.

No, he mostly avoids compliments and definitely avoids comparing me to other clients. If I ask if I’m more X than other clients or even if I’m normal he will always deflect, or sometimes ask why it matters if other people are X.

He has said I am not stupid and not fat, when I called myself stupid and fat, but that’s about it for compliments.

I haven't been told I'm brave (probably because I'm not) but I've been told I'm intelligent and resilient and resourceful. He also said he gets so frustrated with me because I'm all those things and don't always use the skills that come with being those things. I told him that's because it's easier just to fall back on him.

She has said I am smart a few times. She has recently said that I am smarter than her and it makes me hard to talk to sometimes. I had allowed that she had made a logical counterargument that caused me to reconsider the validity of my own argument. She thanked me for acknowledging that she had a point. It seemed like she was saying thanks for letting me win a debate based on logic for once.

She has never said I am unique, special, brave, or anything along those lines. If she said I was unique or special, I would be disgusted and consider her a liar. If she said I was brave, I'd think she was an idiot and a liar. These accolades you've listed ring particularly false to me. Perhaps the "smart" one doesn't bother me as much because I am aware that I am objectively intelligent, regardless of the therapist's motivations for telling me so.

I don't really respond when she occasionally says I'm smart. I don't think I'm stupid, but I don't know what her purpose is in complimenting my intelligence. Maybe she means it. I don't know. She could simply have identified something I value - intelligence - and be attempting to exploit this value by saying I possess it.

On the other hand, she also has no problem pointing out negative things about me, so I'm not sure that she's the type to use flattery as an emotional weapon. If she is, she's not very good at it. I'm much more likely to receive criticism or no flattery/praise from her than I am to receive a compliment. Either way, I have no emotional attachment to the therapist's compliments that I am aware of.

P.S. I answered "what do you mean by etc"

Naa...I don't really want her to either.

No. I cannot even imagine my T doing such a thing.

My therapist has thrown a few adjectives my way, but I think it’s about highlighting strengths, and I imagine he does it for everyone, or at least for most of us.

Yes, in regards to particular situations where I do demonstrate certain qualities judging by the way I behave under certain circumstances. She was correct so it’s not BS. I don’t care what she says to other clients: likely something relevant to their situations so nothing to do with me.

No. I would find that a bit weird.

I think it's pretty common and reasonable for therapists to take note of clients' positive characteristics when relevant, and many of those characteristics are more highly prized if/when they're rare.

Personally, my therapist tends to more often note the ways my experiences and perspectives have been rare or unusual from a neutral or negative perspective.

He has used "brave" once recently, which I rolled my eyes at at the time but which in a less negative light I think he was correct about.

I think there is a big difference between validation and flowery compliments.

Unique, special, one-of-a-kind. Many people have told me these things throughout my life and I think it is pretty meaningless as everyone is unique, special, one-of-a-kind by definition, I don't see any compliment or validation in it. From the T who said it (multiple times), I especially did not like as it always sounded like an excuse that he did not know what to do with me, how to help, being so different etc.

He called me princess last week We had been talking about disney though. But he has told me that I was special, kind and that I had value. He has said it so many times that I slowly started believing him.

Never but then she knows I hate compliments. I do not say bad things about myself to get her to say nice things. One time I said I felt dumb and she did tell me she wouldn't use that word to describe me. That's about as far as we got.

I don't view a therapist saying those sorts of things as compliments necessarily. Interesting to me that is the take for so many.

Is it so hard to believe that we might be truly worthy of validation of our positive qualities? Is it so hard to believe a therapist, who sees most of us both at our worst and at our best, would be just the person to recognize those qualities? Is it so hard to accept a compliment gracefully rather than negating it with "oh, they don't mean it" or "oh, that isn't true about me?"

One of the most uncomfortable things I have learned is how to accept a compliment gracefully, without negating the positive recognition from that person who offered it up. But I have learned to say, "Thank you," and I have learned to allow myself to feel positively when recognized positively by others, whether that person be a family member, a friend, a therapist, or even a stranger. It doesn't matter to me if a person is just being polite. Fantastic, a human being choosing to be polite! Oh! The Horror! I'm done with beating myself down, and I'm done with cynically lacking trust in other people to make their own decisions about who to say nice things to. I prefer to live with a bit more optimism and hope in my fellow humans than that.

No - I just don't see those sorts of things as being proffered as compliments necessarily - maybe they are.
The therapists I hired did not see me at my best or my worst so indeed they would not know. From reading their textbooks and taking their classes, telling clients such things is a technique they use at clients.
My point has nothing to do with generally accepting compliments one way or the other.

What do you classify a therapist telling you that you have a positive attribute as? I know you have said it is a technique they use, but I thought you meant meaningless comments were the technique.