![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
![]() |
|
View Poll Results: What's Taboo to Say to a Therapist in Session? | ||||||
I want to be with you in some kind of romantic way |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
11 | 17.46% | |||
|
||||||
I want to engage in nonromantic physical touch with you |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
10 | 15.87% | |||
|
||||||
I want a platonic relationship with you outside of therapy |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
11 | 17.46% | |||
|
||||||
I dream or fantasize about romance, touch, friendship with you |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
10 | 15.87% | |||
|
||||||
I want to do something harmful to you |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
24 | 38.10% | |||
|
||||||
I dream or fantasize about doing something harmful to you |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
14 | 22.22% | |||
|
||||||
Swearing or cursing at them |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
15 | 23.81% | |||
|
||||||
Insulting or demeaning them as a person |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
32 | 50.79% | |||
|
||||||
Insulting or demeaning them as a therapist |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
21 | 33.33% | |||
|
||||||
Something else that is taboo to say (say what, if you like) |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
5 | 7.94% | |||
|
||||||
Nothing is taboo in therapy |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
23 | 36.51% | |||
|
||||||
Other (say what, if you like) |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
2 | 3.17% | |||
|
||||||
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 63. You may not vote on this poll |
Reply |
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#26
|
||||
|
||||
My T has stated that the only things that are out of bounds are physically attacking her or bringing a weapon. Even property damage isn’t a dealbreaker, and there’s nothing I can say that’s out of bounds. (I do occasionally wonder if the rules would be quite so lax if I wasn’t someone who has significant difficulty with expressing anger in any overt way, including verbally. But my T is generally a straight shooter.)
|
![]() Out There
|
#27
|
|||
|
|||
Not sure about taboo which is about refraining out of social or cultural contract. I would say the patient should say anything and everything on their mind so that the therapist is aware. So sure making or even implying a physical threat is “taboo” bc it crosses a line and so it may get you terminated but if I were a T i would want a client with violent ideation toward me to say that rather than hide it so it’s not a secret from me. By which I mean I would want all knowledge needed to make a decision whether it is safe for me to treat this person. But as for demeaning, i would welcome this because it says something to me about the patient that may need my help fixing that impulse. For ex if i were a woman treating a man and he said something misogynistic I would not LOVE that but it shows that the client has an issue with women that he needs to work on. If that makes sense. So I would say nothing should be held back in therapy.
|
![]() feralkittymom
|
#28
|
|||
|
|||
My T would say nothing is off limits. I haven't really wanted (or not wanted) to say any of the things listed above, though.
|
#29
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
I answered the poll as do I believe they are taboo for me. For me they would be off limits as I cant imagine wanting to harm somebody verbally or physically especially to the extent that anybody was in danger.
__________________
|
#30
|
||||
|
||||
I also see taboos as socially/culturally determined, so the general theoretical principle of therapy being a space not constrained by taboos would seem to negate their influence. That said, there are always consequences to violating taboos, so circumstances would exert some influence on their expression. I interpreted this more as the taboos I've internalized and would not violate, not because of external responses, but because I wouldn't be ok within myself if I did. I would consider it a failing within myself. So I wouldn't demean a T as a person. Anything else on the list seems fine to me, and with the right T, I think would be appropriate.
|
![]() Out There
|
#31
|
|||
|
|||
I seem to be in the minority, but I can't imagine doing ANY of those things, taboo or not. I'm honestly baffled by some of them -- like... romantic feelings?? If, IF such a thing happened to me, I'd change Ts. It is wildly inappropriate. I see my T not as some kind of object or "punching bag", but as a professional, a PERSON that I respect and exercise decent boundaries with like I would anyone else.
For me it's more about respecting boundaries than whether it's "taboo" or not. |
#32
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
__________________
|
![]() Anonymous45023
|
![]() InnerPeace111
|
#33
|
||||
|
||||
Except that Ts working within a psychodynamic or analytic framework view themselves, at least in part, as objects of the client's projections. So a client who says, "I want to hurt you!" is seen as not really directing the emotion at the T/person/professional sitting in the room, but at the T as a substitute for someone else in the client's life.
So why would the T consider saying that a violation of a taboo? Or a sign of disrespect? |
![]() Anne2.0, ElectricManatee
|
#34
|
|||
|
|||
I don't think the saying of the words is the problem necessarily - as in not necessarily "taboo" or forbidden to speak the words (some people may be confusing words with actions). However, I can completely understand any professional being a bit wary of a person saying that want to hurt them in this day and age. Much would depend on the client, their history of volatility, level of stability, etc. I'm sure one client could say something like that and a therapist wouldn't bat an eye. But that same therapist might have this other client who they wouldn't put it past them to truly physically lash out.
|
![]() feralkittymom
|
#35
|
||||
|
||||
Of course, a T should be aware of his client base. But I think most would rather the thoughts--especially if they are reflective of intent--be expressed, rather than be hidden, so as to put safety practices in place as necessary.
|
![]() Anne2.0, ArtleyWilkins
|
#36
|
|||
|
|||
^^^^Of course.
|
![]() feralkittymom
|
#37
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Quote:
![]() |
![]() Anne2.0
|
#38
|
||||
|
||||
I just wouldn’t ever say any of these things to my T.
__________________
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. ~Rumi |
#39
|
|||
|
|||
Nothing is taboo in therapy in terms of talking. The boundary goes between talking and acting.
|
#40
|
|||
|
|||
I love that. A very effective way to make a great point. Thanks for sharing that.
|
#41
|
|||
|
|||
I am appreciative of the wide ranging views of people on this board. A concrete illustration of how therapy gets "done" in a variety of ways that hopefully suit the needs of individual people. And one for the possibility of discussing different ways of doing therapy without hissy arguments about what is right and wrong.
|
![]() TishaBuv
|
#42
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Your comment also makes me think about the consequences for when therapists and clients are not on the same page. A T who encourages an openness where the client doesn't (as expressed by some people here) have any desire or thinks it is "wrong" to say certain things, that seems like a good thing. But what if a client believes in expressing everything but is in partnership with a T who doesn't want to hear it? That seems like a mismatch. From my own history of silencing, I would have a negative reaction to being told I couldn't say certain things if I wanted to. |
![]() feralkittymom
|
#43
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
That's how I see it too. |
#44
|
||||
|
||||
I am incredibly angry with my T right now, but wouldn't dream of saying anything defamatory to him or treating him as less than a person. I can think it, but I won't say it.
|
#45
|
|||
|
|||
That’s how I saw it too. My therapist disagreed and it ended in disaster. Best align on communication boundaries up-front. This can vary wildly between therapists, and being knee deep in transference anger is not the best time to discover your therapist has thin skin. |
#46
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
In my therapy, boundary issues come up organically, so that works better for me as opposed to defining them in the beginning of therapy. Not letting things emerge organically can block components of the therapy, sort of taint it. Ts doing this type of therapy often frown on setting up 'rules' like that. |
#47
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
![]() I tend to think your run of the mill therapist wouldn’t appreciate most of the ‘taboo’ list. |
#48
|
|||
|
|||
But the way it's done introduces more risk to the client, which is why they need extra training (includes years of their own analytic therapy) to do this therapy.
|
#49
|
|||
|
|||
Quote:
Probably the biggest reason for the therapy casualties around here. Many therapists not trained well enough how not to upset people. |
#50
|
|||
|
|||
I don't feel I know enough to understand the main reason(s) behind therapy casualties. But I do think that people vary greatly on the dimension of what upsets them. Some of what other people report on this board as finding positive, I'd run from in therapy or it would have a negative effect on me. Some of what other people have difficulty with, I don't. There is no universal prescription for not upsetting people, or for making people feel supported.
|
Reply |
|