[coolibrarian]

So tomorrow will be the first time I've seen T since November 7, 2018; she had major cancer surgery a week afterward. I have some voicemail from her, and I was listening to her weekly update on her outgoing voicemail....I won't reiterate other things that went on...

Anyway, I'm so excited, I can hardly stand myself! It's hard to keep from smiling, even though Little Cool is still somewhat mad and hurt; Big Cool, who writes in this forum, feels pretty good. I have so many things to ask her, and to tell her.

So, even though I think the session will be a good one, I could use some pocket riders.

In 26 hours, I will be in T's office, but who's counting?

Cool

[LonesomeTonight]

Great news! I'll hop on in.

[SlumberKitty]

Yippee! I'm so happy for you. I'm hopping in too! HUGS Kit

[TrailRunner14]

I’m so happy for you!! I’d love to ride along!!

[Omers]

I’ll hop in! Going back after any kind of break always makes me anxious...

[piggy momma]

Yay!! So happy for you and that your T is well enough to be back to work!

[Rive.]

That's great news. It's been such a long wait for you..

I hope she's doing okay now and good luck for tomorrow!

[Out There]

Great news ! ( hops in your pocket )

Hopping in!

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Hopping in as well!

[nottrustin]

It's a little crowded but I am in!!

[Taylor27]

So happy your t is back hopping in your pocket

[guilloche]

Yay - I'm glad your T is coming back too! I'll squeeze in too! *hop*

[nottrustin]

I am claustrophobic and it is really crowded in here. Do you have more than one pocket

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

I am claustrophobic and it is really crowded in here. Do you have more than one pocket

There's always room for you, NT!

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by coolibrarian

There's always room for you, NT!

Awe, thank you!!

[Lemoncake]

I hope your session goes well.

[coolibrarian]

Well, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great, either. Themes included feeling like a loser, feeling less-than, work difficulties, my anxiety, and my depression. I did, however, ask for a hug, and she complied! Little Cool and Big Cool made sure to tell T how painful her 3.5 month absence was. Sigh. Thanks for all the pocket riders.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs...sorry it wasn't great. I imagine you'll need some time to reconnect after such a long absence. Glad you got a hug at least!

[ArtleyWilkins]

These things take time.

[nottrustin]

Glad it went well. Was the connection missing? What was missing to make it better?

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

These things take time.

I know. It was kind of surreal, sitting there again, after 3.5 months.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Glad it went well. Was the connection missing? What was missing to make it better?

The connection was still there. Until I got to her office, I didn't realize how painful the "break" had been for me. So it was like all that anger and hurt arose again. It was difficult to know how to start. She was the one who brought up the texting problem, and after I left the office, I realized there were other parts of that, which I will have to speak to her about, next time.

[nottrustin]

Were you able to tell her about the hurt and anger?? Will you be seeing her weekly now. She is seeing a limited number of people a day will that effect your ability to see her regularly??

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by nottrustin

Were you able to tell her about the hurt and anger?? Will you be seeing her weekly now. She is seeing a limited number of people a day will that effect your ability to see her regularly??

I see her every two weeks. I don't feel like I need to ask for weekly appointments (I had them for many years, but that was many years ago!).

Her limited clientele will NOT affect my ability to see her regularly.

I thought of three more things I must absolutely talk to her about at our next session. So, made a list.

She acknowledged how painful the "break" had been for me. She apologized for how painful it was, but I didn't accept her apology, and I told her that, and why: there are still so many things to work through, and her apology after 20 minutes of talking my pain out, didn't really feel genuine. OR it may have been Little Cool's impression.

I don't think I've told you (all) this, but during the 3.5 month break, I didn't send her a "Get Well" card. I'd picked a card out and made sure I had a stamp for it. I saw it every day, and did nothing about it. I wonder if she wonders why she didn't get a card from me in all that time. Oh well; it's already on the list.