Opened your mouth and had T come out?

Oh man, been fighting a loosing battle all day! Typical Saturday until H came home 6hrs early from work and clearly miffed about it. The vehicle he uses for work is broken down again, it has been going on 4 months of... and H rattles off all the reasons why it inconviences him to not have HIS work vehicle... now, mind you, work still needs to be done so work provides him with another vehicle just not HIS... I am going on a year without any vehicle and 6mo without a kitchen... Every. Single. Time. I open my mouth today T came out or started to... yeh... not going to be pretty in my house for a while. THEN... MY browser history shows up on H phone H starts seeing all the stuff I have been reading and looking at about T.

Meanwhile... in a state far away T is visiting one of his grandkids... last session we talked a lot about all the love and attention I did not get as an infant-child. T had to explain that a lot of different kinds of interactions (ie skin to skin contact) were normal and necessary for infant emotional development... until I was too overwhelmed and borderline triggered by the idea of so much touch. So I know, somewhere in this far away state T is doting on a grandkid he hasn’t seen in a while and doing all those things he said I should have received as a child... and I am here going ICK!

This is going to be an interesting week. Any pocket riders available with REALLY long arms that can slap a hand over my mouth when T starts coming out?

Hugs...my T has come out of my mouth before, too. Does your H realize it's your T? Is it just that you're standing up for yourself? And this seems like a difficult week for him to be away...


One other question: Why is your browsing history showing up on your H's phone? Could you change something in your settings so this doesn't happen? If not, I suggest using the Private Browsing option (most browsers have it), as that does not leave a history (even on your phone or computer).

Ugh... I wrote you a reply and then lost it. So... the condensed version...
H doesn’t know much about T at all. He knows what T looks like because I usually have T’s web page on one of the browser tabs on my phone... I think I am trying to turn T into a pocket rider. As for the browser thing, I have no clue! I don’t hide things so it has never been an issue. My ex was a computer geek so this too can be fixed...

Yes, it is a hard week for T to be gone but I know the next several weeks will be harder so better to have it out of the way. I also know I can call T but he is busy being grampa so it would take a lot to push me to that.

I will second the question of why your browsing is showing up on your husbands phone?

I think this shouldn’t happen unless you are both signed into the same account. Like google. Change your password.

My browsing history showed up on h's laptop one time, no clue how/why! I had been reading articles about ending therapy and he got all excited (this was long before I actually did end it of course.)

It would horrify me if I started saying things the therapist said in a non-ironic/non-sarcastic sort of way, but I don't think that is what you are talking about.

What is the problem in using the therapist in that way if it helps you? Unless, of course, it makes your husband react in a violent/abusive way.

I am not sure if you mean quoting T or having T as a pocket rider. My biggest concern either way is that I would like T and H to meet. The more neurotic H gets about T the less likely he will be willing to come with me. H says he is worried I am getting too attached to T and that T is going to hurt me. But H knows I have abandonment issues and that T leaving would be a vulnerable spot.

I thought you meant quoting the therapist. But more than that, I did not see harm in doing it as such. I think a lot of clients do it and I believe therapists expect it. That is why I did not know what part concerned you.