Couch 192: The Rainbow Cupcake Couch

I started a quilt once a long time ago. Got one square done and that was it. I turned it into a pillow and gave the rest of the fabric to my sister who is very talented at quilting. It was not for me I am not a sew-er! Yarn I love working with. Fabric, nope...

I'd also love to learn how to knit/crochet. From what I've heard, it's easy once you get the hang of it!

My father used to work with the man that discovered Pluto. He was an astronomer at the start of his career. I missing my dad a lot right now.

True, I think I'll tell her again not to mention T. And hope she doesn't ask why.

I can't even remember exactly how much I've loaned them...probably around $300 unreturned to date. :/ They don't expect money from me but I feel so guilty - they're not guilt tripping me - that I offer them loans... *embarrassed*

Yes, I definitely feel "poor them, rich me" and feel super guilty that I have savings and aren't struggling with money. I'm really not good at being assertive for myself, it's like I shrink into a ball whenever someone challenges a boundary.

A friend coached me through setting a boundary with this other person I barely know who was messaging me a lot online (long rants over FB messenger) and my hands were shaking and I was sweating though it was "just" online.

I think its starlike quality has been informed by your astronomy class. Youve shown us others like this, but this one twinkles!

Looks great Art!

Ugh! Great session with T yesterday... then wake up to my phone blowing up. Stopped for lunch and some cheesecake after session and my credit card got skimmed. About 20 different charges from $500-less than $1 trying to use every penny on my card . My son had a really bad day with H while I was with T yesterday. I know this sounds bad but I am glad H knows how it feels to be stuck home with my son and no car on a bad day... meanwhile my son has a concussion (he gave it to himself, H only touches him to pull him off of what ever he is hitting his head on). We have cameras set up in the house to record it when my son goes off but I haven’t brought myself to watch it yet. H said it was 24 min of hell this time before he could fully get my son pulled off and somewhat calm.

Can I just go back and spend the rest of the week on the couch in T’s waiting room? It was SO comfy there... until I got anxious because T was 25 min late and there is no receptionist or anyone to let me know.

Crochet I learned as a kid from my grandma, so been doing it forever but knitting? Not this girl - I am dexterily (is that a word?) Unable to do it - I can't manage to keep the yarn on the pointy sticks without hooks haha

Eta i tried learning smocking one time too and that was just.... no. Another thing my sister excels at; that girl can do anything with fabric and thread, but not yarn. I got the yarn gene!

I don't like what they've done with the mobile browser version of PC! Anyone else got the same issue?

Oh weird, I just looked at it, and it's really skinny. I assume that's what you mean? I don't like it!

Yeah it's awful. This is the only way I access PC and I don't think I can even do it if I have to read vertically

It is looking normal to me on my ipad. I am using safari.

I'm using chrome. It looks normal colours but very vertical at the moment, but earlier it went a weird horrible blue and yellow

I have had that happen to me before and I don’t know what fixed it other than the next time I logged in it seemed fixed. Can you try another browser

Just tried the samsung browser. Same thing. Other people are reporting it's happened to them too, so maybe they're just rolling out the change. Most websites have a "mobile view/original view" option so I hope they introduce one.

Even on my computer using chrome it looked weird (no background colors, blocky) for a little bit then I refreshed it and the site returned to what I was used to.

It is just a software test, not a permanent change. Logging in and out should reset it.

Hugs NP.

I use Tapatalk on my phone, but it has its own set of issues haha

It's Beautiful!

Hi Couchies, I'm feeling yucky today. I really wanted to call out of work but it's payroll processing day, and also the owner of the company called me yesterday and said he needed some stuff. It took literally five minutes to do this morning but it would have taken someone else much longer because they don't normally do it. So I came to work like I'm supposed to. But I would much rather be curled up in bed at home. I'm not sure what to tell the PDOC tomorrow on whether or not upping the AP worked. In some ways I think it has but in other ways I still feel like crap. Then again I really don't want to start a second AD. So I'm stuck. I keep telling myself if I could SH I would feel better but I know that is incorrect. I'd feel better for a little bit and then I'd feel so much worse. I think perhaps I'm stable, I'm just not in a great space. On the other hand, it's hard to tell subjectively. When I feel crappy I think everything is crappy. If I had a good day, I would probably think I was doing alright. But how many good days do I have over bad days? That's the question I can't answer. HUGS. Kit

Hi Kit, sorry your having a yucky day. I read your post over in Dear T too. My T would suggest I journal about the feelings, where they came from and what they are trying to tell me. I wrote to a former T a week and a half/two weeks ago. She used to be really good about getting back to me but she hasn’t and it hurts and I’m scared. I worry about if something happened to her but then someone from the church or one of our mutual friends would tell me. So then I worry I said something wrong in the email. No matter what it sucks. I too am feeling lonely but I know it is because 1. I have surrounded myself with unavailable people and 2. I am too scared to risk feeling vulnerable to be able to feel connected to another person. Maybe it is a good thing you had to go into work and can be distracted for a bit. You are right in thinking SH will only last a short time and then the feelings are going to come back anyway. Hopefully that will allow you to continue to honor you promise for lent.

Thanks @Omers I keep telling myself "This too shall pass." And that helps a little. I'm not going to feel yucky forever, I'm not going to feel crappy forever, I'm going to feel better eventually, maybe sooner, maybe later. I totally want to honor my promise for Lent so thanks for encouraging me. I'm sorry your former T hasn't gotten back to you. Mine took 10 days to get back to me so maybe yours will soon. I have friends just most of them are far away and the one that is here isn't available much of the time. So I do feel lonely. Yes, you're right. Maybe its good I have work to distract me. I feel like I need a break. Maybe I will go to Disneyland on Sunday. Just go somewhere and get away for the day and not have to worry about stuff. Thanks for the encouragement Omers. HUGS Kit

So I asked my T if I could possibly see him before Thursday (most likely in place of Thursday's session--just want to discuss something sooner than later). He replied, saying "I was able to create a time of 12-1 Wednesday." I accepted it but feel a little weird about it. I hope he didn't have to move another client or change his plans to accommodate me. I mean, it's not an emergency, just preferring not to sit on this (I didn't say any of that in the text--he wants texts to be strictly scheduling requests/changes, no explanation). I kind of wish he'd just said "I have 12-1 available." But I guess it's not up to me to be concerned about, right? He wouldn't have offered it if he wasn't willing.

LT - Maybe it's more like, dont say i never do anything for you? He is giving you something you want, not because it is of no consequence to him, but because you asked him and he chooses to accommodate you because he can. Glass half full! Still, not an easy thing to accept. If somebody does something good for you, will you have to "pay"? He probably wants to wilily teach you that you wont.