[Echos Myron redux]

TW weight loss

Not 100% sure I'll do it, but I'm thinking about it. T has helped me in so many areas of my life, but I've still made little headway on my binge-eating tendencies. I lost a lot of weight several years ago, but then gained it all again. I lost some last year but again started binging. I think I need to somehow undo the connection between sadness and food. I also need to want to feel good about the way I look again. There is some ambivalence there I think. There's a T near me who specialises in this area. Not sure how T would feel about it (I wouldn't keep it from him - not because I feel I have to tell him, but because I like to share stuff with him) I also don't know how the other T would feel about seeing me short term about this one issue (the reason I want to tell her is so that she can understand why I want to keep the therapy boundaried and on-topic, not straying into the rest of my issues too much).

Any thoughts/experiences?

[Echos Myron redux]

Well typing this made me realise I want to at least enquire. I've sent the T an email.

[TeaVicar?]

I can relate Echos. Although eating as a way of avoiding or dealing with emotions, should hypothetically, be dealt with in "normal" therapy, I think most therapists are not up to speed on the complexities of food, eating and our relationship with our bodies. In our case, with male therapists, I also find the gender difference tricky because hating our bodies, diet culture and eating our emotions feel almost intrinsic to being born female.

Have you listened/read any of Laura Thomas's stuff? She's a dietitian but comes from an intuitive eating/health at every size ethos. She has a podcast called "don't salt my game", it really good! I had a brief look at her online course (which is eye wateringly expensive) and she seems to go down a CBT route. Another good one is Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach, which does have more of a psychoanalytical slant, though it's a book of it's time and the idealisation of weight loss in it, is very problematic and not helpful.

ping me if you want to chat, I am slightly immersed in this stuff

[Lemoncake]

I personally think it's a good idea to ask for help in a specific area by seeing a specialist who has had more training- the same way you'd see a surgeon or a cardiologist not just stick with the GP alone.

[SalingerEsme]

I did this when my T and I had an impasse over him writing about me on Reddit. I quietly went to see a mindfulness/somatic T, and told him later that I was going . It helped just ease the preoccupation, fear, and pain of being at odds with this important person. I see how this is different in your case; you have a discrete, defined second issue. It seems really healthy to add that support person.

[Echos Myron redux]

Originally Posted by TeaVicar?

I can relate Echos. Although eating as a way of avoiding or dealing with emotions, should hypothetically, be dealt with in "normal" therapy I think most therapists are not up to speed on the complexities of food, eating and our relationship with our bodies. In our case, with male therapists, I also find the gender difference tricky because hating our bodies, diet culture and eating our emotions feel almost intrinsic to being born female.

Have you listened/read any of Laura Thomas's stuff? She's a dietitian but comes from an intuitive eating/health at every size ethos. She has a podcast called "don't salt my game", it really good! I had a brief look at her online course (which is eye wateringly expensive) and she seems to go down a CBT route. Another good one is Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach, which does have more of a psychoanalytical slant, though it's a book of it's time and the idealisation of weight loss in it, is very problematic and not helpful.

ping me if you want to chat, I am slightly immersed in this stuff

Thank you, I think you are spot on with the bolded part. He does understand superficially, but I don't think he has any specific insight about how to manage those conflicting introjected values and the relationship with self that it leaves you with.

Thanks too for the reading recommendations and the offer to PM, much appreciated.

[LonesomeTonight]

I think it makes sense to do because it is a fairly specialized area. I recall one time asking ex-MC if there were any types of clients he wouldn't see. And he said he wouldn't see a client with an eating disorder (hope that term doesn't bother you) because he doesn't have the specialized training for that. And current T had suggested I see one of his colleagues for a session or two to discuss alcohol issues because she's an expert in addiction. So I think T's understand that they can't specialize in everything and would want their clients to get help from someone else if there's an area in which they lacks skills/experience. Because of your good relationship with your T, I imagine he'd be all for it. I'd think the only concern would be if you were to talk about other issues with that T, because then there could be "duplication of services" and could lead to confusion (if they were giving you different messages). I mean, I'm sure you'll have to talk about factors that contribute to the eating, so you might have to talk about, say, childhood. But as long as it's all addressing the main issue, I imagine both T's would be OK with it.

[Elio]

I did this with another issue and I'm still not sure how it worked out in terms of things with my T. Ultimately, it was my T that was more helpful about that issue than the consult T simply because the issue had gotten so big, I finally told T about it and she was able to link things up or bring forth the needed links for me. I'm sure consult T would have gotten there, it was more the length of time for him to gain my history. I also wasn't sure about the consult T overall. He was much more CBT based which tends to annoy me and I did struggle to keep him bound to the specific topic.

The agreement I had with T was that if we/I thought it was not moving towards a conclusion after 4 sessions with no more than 6 total then she'd want to talk with him to make sure they were working together.

I'm still not sure that some of our current struggles are not coming from the fact that I saw him or that by talking to T about this topic, some of my fears haven't come true.

As for your situation, I agree that someone that specializes in food/body issues could be helpful. I too struggle with binge eating so I know it has so many layers.

[Anne2.0]

I had a specific issue I wanted to talk about with another T, but it involved my therapy or my perception thereof and not something just about me. I had one consultation, felt it served what I needed, and then I told T about it afterwards. He appeared to be surprised but he was all for whatever I wanted to do (the opposite of non-controlling) and said I didn't need to run anything by him. I asked specifically if this was a kind of dishonor to our relationship, and he said no. I tend to think this is how T's "should" approach a client who wants to work with another therapist.

Although you know you don't have to include your T in on your plans (nor do I think it is wrong to keep it to oneself), you want to, and I would encourage you to do that at whatever time makes sense. I think that he could be helpful in helping you think about how to work with someone else and/or this issue, because he knows you and because it may impact your therapy with him and him being informed seems to me like that would help. Maybe he's completely irrelevant to the conversation, but I kind of think from your postings here that he might be skilled at guiding you in how to approach this work you want to do. My version of this is that my T has been helpful to me when interacting with physicians and the like.

[Glowworm80]

I felt like I had written your post as I was reading it as I am in a similar situation even down to the weight loss and gaining it back. I have a lot of awareness and Insight into why I am eating (eg. Numbing, avoiding, self sabotage) but it doesn’t seem to make any difference to making the changes I WANT to make to lead a healthier life. Insight alone is not enough for this IMO and I am also considering seeking another professional for help with it. There is a psychologist online called Georgie Beames that I’ve found helpful. She has a Facebook group called ‘food freedom’ and often has free 5 day challenges as well as paid programs. Also a good book I’ve recenrly discovered is called ‘Taming your outer child’ and it’s about our self sabotage tendencies and how insight won’t be over and offers some steps to help overcome them.

[nottrustin]

That's how I started with Emdr T. My plan was I would see her just for Emdr and nothing else. I spoke to T first as I felt that it was only fair to her and wanting to make sure she supported the idea and said she would stop seeing me during the Emdr. I explained that I wanted to see both. She said she was all for it as long as I was also upfront with any T I made contact with about working with both of them. It went pretty well. In hindsight, though, if I had to do it again I think I wish the three of us would have discussed things more to be sure we were all on the same page. I think things would have been a lot smoother.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

I had a specific issue I wanted to talk about with another T, but it involved my therapy or my perception thereof and not something just about me. I had one consultation, felt it served what I needed, and then I told T about it afterwards. He appeared to be surprised but he was all for whatever I wanted to do (the opposite of non-controlling) and said I didn't need to run anything by him. I asked specifically if this was a kind of dishonor to our relationship, and he said no. I tend to think this is how T's "should" approach a client who wants to work with another therapist.

Although you know you don't have to include your T in on your plans (nor do I think it is wrong to keep it to oneself), you want to, and I would encourage you to do that at whatever time makes sense. I think that he could be helpful in helping you think about how to work with someone else and/or this issue, because he knows you and because it may impact your therapy with him and him being informed seems to me like that would help. Maybe he's completely irrelevant to the conversation, but I kind of think from your postings here that he might be skilled at guiding you in how to approach this work you want to do. My version of this is that my T has been helpful to me when interacting with physicians and the like.

I had a similar experience in seeing another T for a session to consult about how my therapy was going. My current T wished I'd told him first, but was fine with it and said if I want to see another T for some period of time (once, a month, 6 months, etc.), I could always return to him, that he wasn't going anywhere. That he just wanted whatever was best for me. Seeing that other T once got me what I needed, I think, and I didn't feel the need to see her again. But it helps to know that T is OK with me taking a break and seeing someone else if I want.

[Echos Myron redux]

Thanks all. I originally consulted with T while I was seeing T1 so I've had some similar experiences with regard to checking out the therapeutic relationship. Actually, one of the things that puts me off seeing another T is the idea they will have some judgement or other about my therapy or my T. I'm super protective of him (and my therapy).

Thanks for the shared experiences around binge eating. So far I haven't heard back from the food T. I was upfront about my therapy situation, so if she doesn't like it I guess she just won't reply (though it annoys me when therapists don't reply).

[Out There]

Seems like a sound idea , my T says we do often know what we need. My EMDR T said that area was very specialised and always referred people. If you don't hear back you can always contact another. Best wishes with this Echos.

[Echos Myron redux]

She got back to me and said she can offer me a free initial phonecall. I'm not sure what I want to do right now. Receiving the reply has made me feel a bit trembly. Think I'll sleep on it.

[Xynesthesia2]

I personally like to use specialists for everything vs. trying to make it work with one person because I like them, so definitely think this is a good approach. I had an eating disorder when I was young and an addiction later, and these things definitely require specialist knowledge and practical approaches IMO because lifestyle/habit changes and learning new ways to impulse control are necessary. Could you perhaps take seeing the food T similarly to seeing a doctor? People get anxious about seeing doctors as well (I certainly do) but it can be approached as a more focused, solutions-oriented project then. You can still integrate working on this into your long-term therapy as far as the emotional aspects go.

Have you ever tried one of the free peer support groups for binge eating? I never used any for eating issues but was definitely my preferred support and source of practical help with addiction. It was much better for me to discuss those things with people who had actually experienced and overcome them, get tips, be able to reach out in an unstructured way etc. I definitely found that peer groups of of that sort were far more expert and resourceful than therapists and those were the people who understood the emotional elements best. I also liked the groups because it provided variety vs. just one person's experience and expertise.

[Anastasia~]

Echoes,
I don't know if you are interested or if you think it would work, but I know someone who had a binge eating disorder and her Psychiatrist prescribed her Vyvanse (a stimulant). It really helped her a lot.

[Echos Myron redux]

Posted some stuff and changed my mind. Sticking with T for now. Had a good session today.

[Siennasays]

Girl, I could have written your post myself. I've dealt with BED for years. I lost a lot of weight a couple years ago and then I've gained it all back. I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years for depression and various other issues, and I've brought up BED, but it's not something she works with. And while she said she would help me as best she could with my food issues...it wasn't being dealt with. I started seeing a therapist who soley deals with eating disorders and it has been a completely different experience. We focus on food and surrounding feelings and the like, but we don't discuss things I discuss with my other T.
Sooo, I see both and neither know about the other. Unless my insurance gives me away lol. But, it's working well for me!