Couch 193: The Aurora Borealis Couch

What do you think he did the toenail removal with?

ATAT - maybe this will give you an excuse to walk around with a cane and accidentally whack students.

I just walked in the door, to an empty house, and on the kitchen counter is a cake. A cake with a sign that says, "Have some cake!" So I did.

My T has developed the habit of responding to my emails by way of voicemail—he says that it takes him too long to put his thoughts on writing for him to email me back properly, but sometimes there’s stuff in my emails that he feels compelled to respond to prior to our next session.

The hysterical thing is that even if I pick up the phone when he calls (I often don’t because I’m usually working during the day), he asks me to hang up so that he can leave me a voicemail. Presumably this is because he’s like btwn appointments or walking from one place to another and has exactly three minutes and not enough time to have an actual conversation?? (It also feels a little bit like a control thing maybe, I don’t know.)

It’s a little odd, but it’s also kind of sweet. I appreciate that he gives enough of a crap to want to respond to my emails, even if he does it in a weird format. It’s also nice bc then I can listen to them again if I’m struggling at a later time.

I dunno, is this totally weird?

I do have a heavy walking stick in my office. I’ve always wanted to do what Margaret Mead did and use a walking staff to pound on the floor during lectures for emphasis.

I decided to take both weekend days off again this weekend. Woo! Working only 10 hours overtime this week and next both. Paycheck won't be as good but that's ok. I need the rest!

Here I go again. It is the morning of a therapy session. I was given homework to do and it didn't accomplish much. In fact it was a failure. I feel like a failure. I don't feel 'prepared' for this session. Does anyone else get this? The need to be prepared for a session?

I quit my job. After weeks of agonizing over it, because I hate it, well I hate my FT job too but I really hated this one because of the public aspect and rude people yelling at me. I got the courage to finally do it, and I talked to a woman about it, which really shocked me. She was super nice, I told her honestly that mentally I can't do it and she was talking about her struggle with anxiety and suggested therapy because it helped her. She told me they will list me as a rehire so if in the next year I feel well enough and want to return, I can.

I am kinda angry at my self because I struggle to find jobs and I feel like I blew it but I just really can't handle jobs with public right now. I need to get my head together first

My rage at the therapist has not been diminished by my session. In fact, I might be even angrier. I'm not completely sure... some legitimate grievances, but also a considerable dollop of negative transference.