Couch 195: The Galaxy couch

It feels to me like your t stopped short with you. And he finally realized it.

Peach pie is the only food my brother and i agree on is our favorite.

I can't help feeling there is some arse covering going on here. I wonder if he liked the book I gave him? I will ask on Friday.

I took some paracetamol and had a shower and I am feeling better I am taking my meds and settling down. Good night everyone.

Happy Mother’s Day to the couch moms.

DONE!!! I AM OFFICIALLY ON VACATION!!!

*happy dance*

Hurray!

I’m going to go do a trial work day with the people tomorrow that I start with in July. (I’m off from my current job tomorrow and her current nanny needed the day off)The mom is a very new-age parent ( if that’s an appropriate term). She’s read all the studies and books on parenting. How they all say screen time is bad for kids and all that other stuff. She’s very into a Montessori parenting style. That’s fine. Every family is different. I’m not judging.

All I’m saying is that I watched unlimited TV as a kid, played Nintendo until my eyes were going to pop out of my head, slept in and probably chewed on my lead based painted wooden crib and drank the water from a hose. AND I LIVED TO TELL ABOUT IT. Just like many of us have.

So why do parents torture themselves with all these parenting books and studies? It only makes them anxiety ridden about every little thing their child does.

As far as I know the only parenting expert my parents read was Dr. Spock. And often they made fun of him.

Although we also didn’t have a TV till I was a teenager.

Thats why your so smaht!!

Yeah. I don’t know. I think if I understood more why some parents now torture themselves with that kind of stuff it would ease the transition with having to do things a whole new way with each family after years of doing it the same way. But maybe I’m placing too much importance on trying to figure out why they do it that way. It’s just kind of hard to look at it as just a job when your with someone’s kids 10-12 hours a day.

Yeah, you can be all montessori and still eff them up psychologically.

Exactly. Maybe that’s what they are trying to avoid but it will still happen if they aren’t careful. And may still happen if they are too careful.

And you can ignore the research and eff them up psychologically. It doesn't really matter what you think unless you are that child's parent who is hiring someone to follow their instructions and preferences. Bottom line: they get to decide. There is probably a happy medium (probably where my own parenting fell), and even then, there are no guarantees. There is nothing guaranteed in parenting except that every child is unique and will somehow, someway, defy the research and odds every stinking time. LOL.

But at least they are willing - maybe? - to bring another person into the kids life. And That youve been handling twins for so long should make a singleton easy peasy. But also that your own brain is twice as big now!

My Mom and her friends all swore by Dr. Spock. At least they proclaimed to...

Hahaha. Yes it is. I had a set of twins before the set I have now.
So over 7 years with twins should make this one a walk in the park for sure.

What do you think Art as a parent? Why do you think some parents swear by these certain methods? Weather it be Montessori or any other? Do you think it’s just about making an effort to not mess a kid up? And maybe social pressure plays a role too. My families I nanny for are very wealthy. Because usually they are the only ones who can afford to pay a nanny an actual good wage.

This is all true. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t interfere with my families parenting styles. It’s their kids and they do what they want. I just wonder what the benefits are sometimes to living by one way with each kid when they are all different. What worked for one may not work for the other. Also sure they have all the power with hiring a nanny, but if they chose a different method of childcare weather that’s a daycare center or other form of day care then they would kind of have to go by the schedule and curriculum the center has in place, right?

That's the point though. These are probably highly educated, affluent couples that have designed their life in such a way they they feel in control of their choices, including how they rear their own children. They have the means and ability to research and learn and make deliberate decisions . . . a luxury most economically average families simple can't do under the reality of their own circumstance. When it comes time for their children to enter school, they will research and study and network in order to, again, make a deliberate choice in schooling. Most of us don't live in that world where we have that many financial options, so we don't even bother to do the research because it won't matter anyway: our choices are limited, so we stay focused only on the options within our means.

Wishing all mothers a good day.

I understand now. Thanks.

I don't know. I knew my mom always spouted about dr spock so i didn't read him on purpose. i read more stuff while i was pregnant (about pregnancy) than after he was born about raising him - well, i take that back i did read 'what to expect the toddler years' or whatever it's called. I pretty much just tried to be the mom that I wished mine had been... and even though I did the best I could to be that, he still ended up going to therapy for a while (and he's been back for a short time since the first go-around after he moved out). I guess that's what it is, that it's our individual efforts to not mess our kids up. L told me one time when we were talking about my guilt over mistakes I made raising my son that no matter how supposedly "perfect" a parent is, kids are gonna get 'messed up' to varying degrees it's just how it is and if it wasn't, there wouldn't be therapists, or something. (I paraphrased badly I am sure, that convo was a long time ago.)

Also my sister used to nanny right out of college. Both families were well off but they were so different in terms of raising their child. One family pretty much left all the raising to my sister when she was there, and the other although my sister was a live-in nanny were very hands-on in raising their kids when they were home. I guess everyone is just very different...

Thanks. This helps me to understand as well.

I don’t know why I’m curious about all this now. This is the only thing I’ve ever done so it’s not like I’m going into this without any experience. I guess it’s just helping me ease the transition.