Couch 198: All the Countries Couch

Poor T... last week after session I triggered. He sent an email of concern and clarification and I told him we were good... then today he had me scheduled for 1pm and I wrote down 2pm and I am always early. Poor T. He was so worried that either I was leaving therapy because of last week or something horrible had happened to me and we hadn’t had a chance to fully clear things up. I have never seen a T so relieved to see me!

Yay! Detroit had a good fireworks show tonight! Somebody finally learned how to run the computer! AND they didnt just pick random music that was hard to listen to. They at least had a theme, a tribute to Aretha. I will have to catch the reruns over the next two weeks

Got some more done this evening...

Tomorrow I’m spending the day at a workshop on how to help first generation college students.

My mother—who married a first generation college student who barely spoke English and worked full time while in college but still did extremely well—called it “cosseting” when I showed her the program. I am inclined to agree—I am supposed to be a coach and not a professor, apparently.

I don’t understand these people who fall asleep on planes, sleep through landing, then wake up hours later on an empty plane. How do they do it?

First, I can’t sleep on planes. Second, how does anyone sleep through landing? And even if you do that, how can you sleep through all the luggage removal and people bumping you and your seat as they deplane?

I want what they’re having, she said, facing another night of insomnia.

I sleep on planes. Movement puts me to sleep. I have often thought how great it would be if I could hire someone to drive me around all night so I could sleep. I don't know how one sleeps through the deplaning though other than if she had taken some med to put her to sleep or take away the anxiety of flying.

Isn't it possible that your mother's spouse was exceptionally talented and that others might need a little extra help?

Well now you know he cares.

It's nice he was worried about you. Did you still get to have a full session?

I wish I could have some of what they're having, too. Then perhaps I could have slept through the thunderstorm in the middle of the night last night. Or the zillion other things that wake me up (I tend to wake up a bunch through the night--always have). I have no idea how someone could sleep through landing, let alone deplaning. Hope you were able to get some sleep.

I wasn’t able to get any work booked for today. Oh well. I guess the house can use a cleaning. I’m booked the rest of the week with varying hours. This is going to be life for the next 6 weeks or so.

Take some time for Jersey. You deserve it.

Morning couchies.

I saw T yesterday for the first time in 3 weeks. I also cancelled a bunch of sessions upcoming because I cant afford both t. She didnt even ask why

No, he had someone right after me. I got to his office at about 1:30 (there is a nice park across the street or I sit in my car and chill) and he went a little bit over with me so it wasn’t too short. Most importantly we got to work through last weeks problems and learn how each of us handles those things. He felt horrible and blindsided as I had left the session OK. We also spent time asking eachother to clarify random things we weren’t sure we understood and share our perceptions on how therapy was going. He apologized for not warning me that the waiting room was going to be very different (his wife bought new furniture so a bunch of furniture from their house came to the office).

Most importantly though he cares, he cares a lot. He was really upset about me being hurt/triggered by what I thought he said (we came to the conclusion together that he more than likely said it as a reflection or rhetorical question related to another relationship I was talking about and I missed the inflection in his voice). Unlike other therapists I have worked with his concern was 100% about my pain. He didn’t want to be the cause of pain, accidentally or not. He was very afraid that I didn’t show because of that and I would be stuck in that pain and the pain of loosing him... it was all a very emphatic, genuine “I don’t want you to hurt”. Unlike the last T who was always worried I would bash her professionally if anything went wrong, the one before her that was oblivious to rupture, the one before that who intentionally created ruptures and would not allow us to fix them, or first T who I was in a constant rupture with for two and a half years.

Sorry your session was shorter, but sounds like you were able to work through quite a bit in that time, Omers. Sounds like your T is one of the good ones.

I was thinking the same thing as LT, Omers seems like one of the good ones! Hugs.

I asked someone yesterday if they wanted to go out to get fries from our fav burger bar today. They texted in the morning with a yes at 11am asking when I wanted to go, but when I messaged back to confirm timings they haven't responded and it's actually close to 5.30pm. Can I just turn my phone off now after waiting the whole day for them to get back to me?

I agree!

I’m sorry they didn’t respond. I hate it when that happens. You can still go get the fries and enjoy them. Do they have takeout? You can bring the fries home and eat them in peace.

I’m hungry. Now think about it for a minute Jersey. Are you really hungry? Probably not.

Yes, my T is definitely one of the good ones. I am sure he isn’t right for everyone but there are so many times I read about T’s on here and wish I could loan the person my T so they could know something different/healthier (IMO).

Sorry Lemoncake... planning is the most anxiety producing part of socializing for me.

Oh, and I got my usual end of session hug with T. I could feel that last bit of uncertainty about if we were OK or not leave him as I moved into his arms, relaxed and took a deep breath.

This is exactly why I find hugs at the end of session important. It lets you feel the other person's emotions and tells you whether everything is okay or not.

Me too, Scarlet.