Couch 198: All the Countries Couch

Now ATAT- we all know lemon can be your sister wife. There was even a TV show or 2 about it. Sharing is caring.

Arthur C Clarke. One never says it without the C. Thats the 2001: A Space Odessy (sp) guy. When you said you were listening, i thought you meant music i will have to reread it, it was so long ago, i have completely forgotten it.

Hehe thanks artie.

Little 'ole me or

I was at my Dennys the night Ricky Nelson died. Also the night of the big plane crash here at Detroit. Back when we used to read the newspaper. Hey theres no emoji for newspaper?

I was gonna say that she was stolen, I but thought it was insensitive. But alas who am I to get in the way of true love?

My Dalmatian shall keep me company.

Exactly, she might just have personal boundaries around gifts. She might feel uncomfortable if she accepts things from you but other clients don't give her things. I have no idea if my T accepts actual gifts. I brought back a shell I found on the beach last year and asked if I could add it to his sand tray (a small one), and he was fine with that (though he said it had to be aesthetically pleasing--it passed the test!) But that was more my adding something to the office. I know he has other stuff in his office from clients, too. But if I gave *him* something, not sure how he'd react or if he'd accept it. An obvious gift for him would be some interesting socks, for example, but he'd probably be weird about it because it's something he'd put on his body. If it's something I made (well, not clothing, not that I know how to knit socks!), that might be different. And I figured shell would be OK because I found it, so free.

I know ex-MC didn't accept gifts because once H said we got two copies of the same DVD for Christmas, some popular movie, and he asked if he wanted one. He said he couldn't accept gifts. And that was something we didn't pay for, though it did have monetary value. I wouldn't have tried to give him anything because I'd be too afraid of rejection. With current T, I think maybe only at termination. Or possibly if I came across something perfect for his office (like he admired this one crystal I have that i carry in my purse--blue quartz maybe? agate? blue something--so I thought of getting him one of those at some point, but for the office.)

Audiobooks are my new thing at the moment, and I'm obsessed. I listen when I'm studying and it might not be real reading but I can get through stuff so much faster. Going through a sci-fi phase at the moment.

Ah that wouldn't work for me because I'm too jealous.

One of Cody's wives left the group. They did an interview once and you could feel the tension when they talked about the washing machine area.

The washing machine area?? Is that a euphemism for something? "I have a tingling in my washing machine area!"

Sorry. Inappropriate.

Sorry it wasn't Cody's family and I messed up the quote:

it's at 4.30:

"all except the laundry room, right?!"

followed by uncomfortable laughter.



It sounds funny!When my sister was younger she'd say "empty container" instead of vagina.

I am intrigued by the sister wife thing. That could prove extremely, well, interesting.

There was a whole show-one of those reality tv shows. It was on either TLC or A&E (one of those channels that show the reality TV shows). Guy had 3 wives or something. I didn’t watch it- I only saw clips. I used to watch the fictional series Big Love when it was on HBO, but that was fiction.

one of the things that shocked/confused T last week is that I am not possessive of H or any of my previous partners... I have always offered an open relationship even though I am monogamous. Trust is more important to me than monogamy... if they are going outside of the relationship I want to know.

Open relationship/Marriage is a very real thing and probably more common than we think.

Fun is over. Time for work. See you all later

It is something that I think about but have not yet discussed with h.

(Oh and if anyone wonders how that fits in with my vows being sacred to me, my beliefs are evolving and stuff. Heh.)

I am seriously annoyed at my school’s Instructional Design Office for screwing up the transfer of a course from Blackboard to Canvas. I had question pools set up for the Blackboard site to choose questions randomly. They didn’t transfer the full pools of 40 questions. They just saw that it was set to pick 25 questions and transferred 25 questions.

Idiots. Somebody needs to go back to school!

You don't need to justify anything. You're allowed to adapt and to change.

This is where i would worry that ones partner might not be as evolved. If they find such a thing hurtful, not "evolved", they may participate with less than honorable intentions. Of course, thats not your responsibility, but i envision a jealous h yelling, "what did you THINK was going to happen?!" as they do something nuts. And thats all im going to say about it. Men are tricky b's!

When we have tests to do under timed conditions we still send the others who still haven't done it the new questions that came up. Everyone having the same 25 Q's would ruin it!

Youre allowed to live on another planet.

Dont mind me! Im still reeling over your sisters comment earlier!!! When i was her age, i still didnt know about the space!!!

Yep. Tis complicated. And why I haven't said anything.

Art, I know this seems like a perfect solution to your dilemma, and I probably seem like I'm throwing cold water on it, but I have known 5 couples in open marriages over the years. For some it worked, for some it didn't. The ones it worked for, the original marriage was solid at heart--good communication, a high level of trust, no co-dependency, supportive of each other even when hearing about the other relationships, still physically attracted to each other.

The ones it didn't work for were the ones where the open marriage idea was being used to paper over cracks in the original marriage. In one case, the wife had had an affair. In the other, the husband had come out as gay. Basically, things were just as bad as before for those couples.

I do get that. Which is why it remains unspoken. Perhaps I shoulda left it untyped as well. I dunno.