Couch 200: The Bicentennial Couch.

Ok because I am socially inept did I do something wrong. My ex's and his new gf came to visit and I asked if they wanted coffee and straight up she said would you like me to make it? This puzzled me because why would I want someone I just met in my kitchen? So I said " no I'm right thanks" apparently this didn't go down well. It's just my thing I have never let another woman in my kitchen ever even though my ex MIL tried her hardest for nearly 20 years. My kitchen is where I relax and it would feel dirty if some woman was in it. I would have to wash everything. I don't know why this is bothering me I think because I want to appear nice. I do think my ex explained it like that.

Session with R in 37 mins exactly . And I have a friend J who wants to come over to drop a box she wants me to store for her. I told her I didn't mind her coming over but i didn't know if she would come in time....

You didn't do anything wrong and you don't need to explain anything I can understand being civil for the kids but if they wanna get offended over something so small I would limit contact with them. The biggest thing R taught me is that you don't have to be nice to anyone even if they are family whatever.

I don't like people in my space, unless they're invited.

She came and left. I was expecting a small box to be honest but it's actually a large box with 3 other bags and a small heater which she said I could have (but I don't need it). I have space under my desk table but it's just an eye sore.

BCM, I don't see why that was an issue for her... I'd be weirded out if somebody asked me whether they should make coffee. Not even because it's my kitchen, just because they are the guests, guests usually don't make coffee themselves. And if you've just met her, of course you don't want her to just do whatever in your home. Totally okay to tell her no.

How long do you have to store it for? If it's longer than a few weeks, maybe tell her politely that it's a bit more than expected and is bothering you (and also whether she can bring the heater to somebody who actually needs it)?

T is gone on vacation, so no session today. Might hang around here a bit more than usual, been missing actually reading and answering all the things I'd want to if I had more time.

She leaves today and she just asked me this morning. But I knew it would be for maybe a few months/ a year. as she wants to study a year abroad.

How long is T away for>

My session with R was actually good. He said seeing another T hurt him, which surprised me.

I cried a lot though. He was saying one issue that's always been from the start is that I didn't trust him. I told him I generally didn't trust anyone and I expected him to stab me in the back and to send letters to my address to my parents. That I just didn't feel safe.

he was going on about how it was okay for me to have needs and to ask for what I needed. But I said I could never feel like I could do that. I told him to not look at me to cover his eyes and he actually did. i went on about being given a brushing chart at school at 7 but realizing that I didn't actually mark it because I didn't brush my teeth and there was no one there to check it had been done. and stealing sanitary towels from my aunt and mainly using tissue because I couldn't ask.

He said he sorry that I went through that.

He asked what did I need from him. I said I wanted comfort and reassurance. That i liked the smiley faces in his emails. That i made me think of blankets. He said just like from a mother. I joked that I also had mummy issues. xD.

i'm going to make lunch.
Anyone wanna join for toast?

Also making lunch, pasta.

T is away for two weeks in total, one more week after this. Doing well so far though.

Glad your session went okay!

I would be tempted to repack it

Your really are my original .

Thank you.

I copied you with the pasta and had a second lunch.

How long have you been with your current T?

I love watching tiny house living or micro apartment tours.

Sent my therapist a long email asking for help and to reconsider doing Skype therapy with me. He asked me to call him this morning at 11.... I wonder what he has to say....

I love apartment tours, i havent really done too many micros. A few. I dont think i would like to sleep too close to a ceiling. I would surely bang the sh it out of my head.

Eta - i used to call my mother "mummy". (Because the queen of england had accidentally left me behind when touring the Ford Rotunda.) But she thought i was saying "mommy"

I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope your call goes well.

I see my T online mainly and in person whenever I go back to London.

Oh fear not! There's plenty of designs. No need to bang heads unless youre at a music concert.





I call my mother mom. . Always knew my gal was a diamond in the rough!

Since December 2016, so about 2.5 years.

I'm in a two day slump and haven't actually been able to study. Which always accounts for why I need extra time with each exam. Most people from my group are actually done with exams and have been for a while.

I'm watching the 97 movie Payback.

I'm glad you're coping well with the break.

Thanks for sharing @Lemoncake I have similar difficulty asking for things and often stole or went without because of it. T and I haven’t gotten there yet so when I read your post it was kind of a “oh S* we’re going to have to talk about that too????” at least I know going into it I am not the only one.