Extremely upset after receiving new diagnosis

Wow. I don't think that was called for at all, divine1966. That last paragraph sounds very patronizing.

@divine1966 Hope has expressed gratitude in her posts. She has been doing that all along. It sounds like you are getting frustrated.

Yes, I think so. The best you can do now is go there and cooperate on your recovery.

I agree. You do recognize that your psychiatrist is decent and is trying to help, just get into these cycles of fear and antagonism. Just like on this forum - I think most people genuinely try to come up with helpful things for you. I am sure you are not as much a burden to people around you as you often tend to think.

My personal view is that it could be a good start if you somehow committed to inhibiting those impulses of canceling and antagonizing your therapy. Maybe take it in small doses, e.g. try to promise yourself that you will be agreeable, go to your sessions and work with the insights and materials offered to you say, just for the next week. I think it is good to talk about your feelings but acting them out endlessly may not lead to significant change. I know well how difficult it can be to say 'no' to momentary impulses and intense desires but it can be done, especially if you take it in small portions. Try not to focus so much on the whole universe and every problem in one package, just small things, e.g. to develop a routine of self care and allowing others to give you constructive feedback.

Yeah, an if you read this forum, you can see you are not the only client who cancels appointments.

In my first few years of therapy, i always wanted to also, mostly because i felt so ashamed of something that had happened in the previous session, or something i thought of after.

Shaming had been my parents primary mode of discipline. I just wanted to curl up in a ball all the time. From there i went to the opposite extreme of having no shame at all, and then stayed in THAT mode most of my adult life.

Now as a senior citizen, i have new things to shame me, like peeing my pants AND farting when i sneeze. Thanks, i dont need friends IRL, i'm fine with online only!

Hope I also have BPD, and have been in therapy for the past 2.7 years,I honestly feel like therapy has tamed me to a certain extent. When I first began I never even knew what I was feeling. It was just extreme up's and downs. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

I think I have officially quit therapy more than 6 times, and threatened to do so ever other month. I've lost count of the number of sessions I've skipped- but I always knew that he would take me back.

It hasn't been easy but I'm just glad I'm not where I was almost three years ago.

Recovery from BPD is possible, but it's not a quick fix.

When is your next session?

Next session is in 2 days. I feel very nervous.

It's going to be OK

I really think getting this diagnosis will be helpful to you because NOW you can focus on getting help, targeted help, for it.

Theres a lot of stigma associated with it sure... but any therapist worth anything will look at you and see that you are a person first- before anything else- you just happen to have particulat challenges that are similar to the challenges under the umbrella of borderline personality disorder.

Like others have said, you are the same person before and after the diagnosis... but now. I truly believe this diagnosis can be used as a gift for you- if you can accept it and accept the help your T obviously wants to give you.

Ive said it before, but it seems to me that so many of your struggles IRL are related to this diagnosis. And now- you might find that with treatment things will become mucheasier.

So. Look at your name. Hopealways. And see that- this might actually be a gift when it comes to that. This gives you hope for help.

Also. Im not sure if this will help but...

I get the whole “not wanting to accept a diagnosis”

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a little less than a year ago.

And Im STILL really struggling with it. With knowing that- this... this scary description... is me.

I still reject it sometimes. Its hard to look at a cold list of criteria and match it up with what you see yourself as, and what you want yourself to be. It feels very limiting to do that. Like its not taking into account your “person-hood”. That in some way- it feels invalidating.

Instead of you struggling with problems that “anyone” can experience... you are now struggling with “symptoms” that are just- something that you feel like have been tattooed on your forehead signaling that you are only experiencing them because you are... messed up.

Im still struggling with those feelings- but they are getting better for me.

And I think theyll get better for you, and that, in time, if you just look at yourself as “a person with borderline personality disorder” instead of focusing so much on the cold hard criteria- itll get easier for you too.

I really really think you can get a lot of really nice REALLY good for you help- if you can find a way to accept this diagnosis. Because now- while your feelings are IN NO WAY invalidated- now you can maybe begin to understand why you are having them- and focus on getting treatment that might help you work through them and cope with them.

But my major point is- THIS DIAGNOSIS DOES NOT MAKE YOUR FEELINGS INVALID. It is just there to help you better work through how to deal with them. Thats all.

I hope you know Ive never wanted to hurt you. But I am... I really do think this was good for you. And while I do think its going to take you a while to accept it- I think continuing to work with this therapist will really help you.

Please try to listen. Even if you dont want to. Even if you dont like it. Because its in those moments when you ARE uncomfortable. Where you are scared. That you are the most honest and most able to face your fears and make great change. And you are lucky to have such a good T to help you do this.

One more thing. There is hope with BPD. Like Ive said before, I know several people who I greatly respect, who are intelligent, kind, and good people... with this diagnosis. There IS hope.

Hope your session today goes well

Hope, how did your appointment go? I hope your visit went well, and he listened to what you had to say.


Also, how are your interviews coming along?

How did your app go i have been thinking about you, i hope you had a good session. Hugs

Thanks for all of the support!

I’m still struggling with the diagnosis.

Mainly because I don’t have enough of the criteria to meet the full diagnosis and I feel like my T is disregarding what I have to say about any of it.

Also, I also experience PTSD and yet my T isn’t considering a diagnosis for that.

I want to feel like we’re working together as a team, but he has pretty much taken over in the therapeutic alliance and I don’t think my feelings matter to him.

The good thing is that I started taking my antidepressant again and my mood has finally began to lift.

The official dx for PTSD is hard to meet. My T says I have it on conversation but he lists it officially as some "not else classified" or something.

Don't get hung up on the dx Hope. The longer you battle back and forth on that the longer you will delay making positive progress. What are his suggestions for a treatment plan? That is what is truly important. Have you discussed that?

I'm glad your pills are working.

I am trying not to get hung up on diagnosis labels. I am trying to keep in mind that I am not the labels.

It’s just really difficult right now because I’m in a situation where having any mental health issues is in question related to how well I care for my brother and sister.

Fortunately, my brother’s doctors are always on our side with this and they say that I do an excellent job caring for my siblings.

Their birthday was a few days ago and they thanked me for giving them an excellent birthday.

Sometimes I just miss the days when the only thing I struggled with was ADHD. The other mental health problems didn’t happen until my mom died.

Has he explained which criteria he is using and why? Because you need to know where he is coming from before you can have an informed conversation with him. Good luck.

Hope, I can see a change in you! I'm so happy to hear about your progress and how you're trying to do the right thing! I'm sure the entire community here will support you in your path to healing :-)

Yeah theres not a diagnosis out there in my opinion that straight up makes someone a bad person. For example, I know someone who I would consider a really good person who has antisocial personality disorder.

Hes a good person because he chooses to be one. He looks at his symptoms- the things that make life harder for him- and he makes choices. He tries to be as ethical as possible, tries to remember that just because he doesnt feel guilty doesnt mean that something isnt “wrong”, and works really hard in spite of all the difficulties.

I dont think anyone on here is calling you a bad person. Is saying that BPD= horribleness. BPD equals a particular set of challenges. And for you- getting the diagnosis means that now you will be able to realize WHY certain thingd are so hard for you and work on those things and make life easier for yourself in general.

You- YOU decide who you want to be. Not a label. Not ADHD. Not bipolar. Not BPD. All of those things describe “challenges” thats all. You can be a good person because you can choose to be. Because you have choices.

I totally agree with the person who says that having a treatment plan moving forwards is a really good way to go right now. Because thats what matters- working on these behaviors and challenges with someone who, like you said, has lots of skill with this sort of thing. You can be so much happier and healthier once that gets going, I truly believe that you can. You just need to work at it. And I know you can do that

Today my T realized and acknowledged that I don’t fit the criteria that he originally thought.

He also wants me to think about why it’s so important to fit into my family and I don’t even know what to say.

Does he still think you meet enough criteria for BPD? Which criteria was he wrong about?

Also I think it's a dumb question to ask why someone wants to fit in. It's pretty normal to want to fit in.

He said that we’d discuss the specifics next week. There’s a lot happening in my life.

And he FINALLY recognized that following a recent scare by
a guy who then wanted to scare others.