[Lrad123]

Does this happen to anyone else? It happens to me and it’s distressing. Last week I felt really good about our connection and how things were going. Today I’m trying really hard to remember that feeling but I can’t really, or what I remember feels forced. It makes me feel frustrated and almost mad at him which I guess doesn’t make sense because logically and factually I know he’s nice and consistent and accepting no matter what. I just can’t feel it any more. In my head he’s turned into someone who’s bored and annoyed and withdrawn or something. And now he’s going on vacation which doesn’t help. This whole process makes me mad and makes me want to skip our session this week which is the one before his vacation. It’s maddening.

[Omers]

YEP! I struggle with this a lot. No words of wisdom or anything but it happens for me too.

[feileacan]

I have it but in the opposite way. In the session I'm extremely resistant, nothing he says makes sense and I'm mostly irritated and hostile. We very rarely establish any meaningful connection. I come home and things suddenly look quite different - what he said, starts to make sense, I start to imagine how we could make connection. I go to my next session and bam - it's again gone and I find myself in a constant battle field again.

Object relations. Innit.

[Xynesthesia2]

I think this is quite common in many relationships, I would not expect a T to be an exception. Feelings don't freeze just because we are not communicating momentarily and they are the product of the person feeling them, not so much of the external reality.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by feileacan

I have it but in the opposite way. In the session I'm extremely resistant, nothing he says makes sense and I'm mostly irritated and hostile. We very rarely establish any meaningful connection. I come home and things suddenly look quite different - what he said, starts to make sense, I start to imagine how we could make connection. I go to my next session and bam - it's again gone and I find myself in a constant battle field again.

The connection for me, if it comes, is typically immediately after our session, not during. I sometimes send him an email about it in the hopes that it will solidify the experience for me and also so that my T doesn’t think I’m a skeptical curmudgeon all of the time.

[Lrad123]

It doesn’t help that my T doesn’t respond to my emails. If I asked him to he’d maybe send a brief reply saying something generic like, “let’s talk about this next time.” I don’t want to have to ask for it though. He should use his therapisty 6th sense and know that I’d benefit from a response. It kind of pisses me off that he doesn’t do this.

Ask him. I've felt like you. Discussed it with T and it was like she was just waiting for me to ask.

They won't impinge on us. It needs to come from us.
Once I told T after cutting back to one a week that I had hoped/wished somehow an email would materlise on the day off the missed session. She asked if it would help to get one?

I realised my desire for one is in me. Unless I show her, she can't be sure it's there.
Now every Monday I get a quick email from her.

[Lrad123]

Originally Posted by The mouse

Ask him. I've felt like you. Discussed it with T and it was like she was just waiting for me to ask

It’s hard to ask. I’ve asked before and I don’t want to keep asking because it makes me feel weak. I technically don’t need a response. I’d like to get one though. It’s complicated.

Not as complicated as you think.

Originally Posted by Lrad123

In my head he’s turned into someone who’s bored and annoyed and withdrawn or something ... This whole process makes me mad and makes me want to skip our session this week which is the one before his vacation. It’s maddening.

Is he the imagined bored, annoyed and withdrawn one or are you describing how parts of you are responding to him? You are mad and want to withdraw by skipping a session, you sound annoyed.