[Folding]

I've been working with my current therapist twice a week for 2 years. For certain reasons, this year is particularly difficult for me and it was important to me to have consistent support without any big changes. My therapist was aware of all of this. Today they let me know that they will only be able to see me once a week starting in September because they are taking over a group that runs at the same time as one of my sessions and they do not have any other times to offer me. I'm feeling hurt and disappointed as well as confused. Oddly, I had a gut feeling this was coming so have had time to prepare but of course, I still feel abandoned.

I'm upset by the thought of going down to once a week. Once a week never felt enough to me when I was working with past therapists, so I was relieved when this therapist offered twice a week. Twice a week also feels really important to me during this difficult year - in fact I asked a couple weeks ago if there was any chance we could increase to three sessions just for this year.

Has anyone else has had something similar happen before? Did going down to once a week work out?

Does anyone else have any thoughts on this situation?

[velcro003]

That truly sucks, Folding. Unfortunately I have no advice as I only see my T once a week. Was your T aware you were upset by the change? Is the group only a certain amount of time and then you can go back to twice a week?

[Folding]

Originally Posted by velcro003

That truly sucks, Folding. Unfortunately I have no advice as I only see my T once a week. Was your T aware you were upset by the change? Is the group only a certain amount of time and then you can go back to twice a week?

Thanks velcro. Yes, they were aware. They knew I would be upset before they told me and I shared that I was disappointed and hurt. The group seems to be long-term. I was told if another client ends therapy, we could discuss adding a second session back in if I wanted but they didn't foresee anyone ending anytime soon.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

I’m really sorry that happened and your feelings are understandable. With my former T, we normally did once a week, but during extremely stressful times we did twice a week for a few weeks.

One thing that helped when we only did once a week was that she allowed me to send her an email halfway between sessions and she would (usually) reply. This helped keep the connection during the 6 day gap. We also made sure to define the boundaries around this arrangement. The emails were not an appropriate place for therapy to occur, so I kept that in mind and the content was just updates about my activities and feelings, as well as reflections about our previous session. Also, it was important for me to know that if she didn’t happen to write back every once in awhile, it wasn’t because I had written something “bad” or that she was angry at me — it was probably because she got extra busy or something else came up.

Maybe you could talk with your T about making some sort of compromise like this?

[Folding]

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

I’m really sorry that happened and your feelings are understandable. With my former T, we normally did once a week, but during extremely stressful times we did twice a week for a few weeks.

One thing that helped when we only did once a week was that she allowed me to send her an email halfway between sessions and she would (usually) reply. This helped keep the connection during the 6 day gap. We also made sure to define the boundaries around this arrangement. The emails were not an appropriate place for therapy to occur, so I kept that in mind and the content was just updates about my activities and feelings, as well as reflections about our previous session. Also, it was important for me to know that if she didn’t happen to write back every once in awhile, it wasn’t because I had written something “bad” or that she was angry at me — it was probably because she got extra busy or something else came up.

Maybe you could talk with your T about making some sort of compromise like this?

Thank you for the idea. It's something for me to consider and bring up next session.

[*Beth*]

I so feel for you, Folding. I wish I could offer some magic words, or even share a positive experience that came from the type of situation your facing.

I had just started seeing my therapist last year, saw her for about six weeks, and she caught pneumonia. She was out for 4 months. I knew she was terribly ill and I was truly concerned about her. I was also deeply worried about myself, too. While she was away I had a terribly rough go of it and ended up in a miserable IP.

In January she returned and therapy has been consistent. Just this month we've gone to twice/week with a plan of doing the 2 per week for a couple of months. Last week I felt so safe, really stable and good. Ready to work intensively on issues and find new coping skills. Hopeful and optimistic for the first time in so long, I can't even recall.

Then her receptionist called today 3 hours before my appt. and told me that my t. has gone home sick. My day went to ****. All the safety I felt? Gone. Furthermore, I keep wondering if she's "testing" me to see how I react, etc.

Tonight I'm seriously thinking that maybe therapy isn't a good idea if I react this strongly to her sudden absence. I feel like my trust has been broken again, like always, as it is with everyone.

Forgive me for going on. What I'm trying to say is...I completely support how you feel. I would also feel betrayed, just as you do. Maybe I'm all off, but it seems I dunno...dishonest or something when a therapist leads a client to trust, to believe, then the client gets that safety yanked away.

I'm wondering what your therapy schedule is for the rest of this month? Will you still be doing 2 sessions per week for the remaining three weeks of August? Is there a part of you that just wants to walk away, or not?

I'm sorry to hear about this, I think that therapists really need to give us consistency. My thoughts are that your therapist should find a way to continue to give you two sessions, either by working late or coming in early one morning, or by not taking on this group at all. I think that they either forget or are ignorant to the power that therapy has to help or harm people, I think that your therapist should find a way to continue seeing you twice a week to prevent any harm coming to you.

I have thoughts.
I think.... That the T isn't as invested in his clients as they should be.

[toomanycats]

Oh man that would be possibly therapy-ending for me, to be honest. I've been seeing my T 2x a week for 2 years as well...it's a non-negotiable for me.

[InkyBooky]

So, your current level of care and session frequency is being dramatically/suddenly changed for the therapist’s own personal convenience and benefit and not for reasons having to do with your therapy needs!??

This sounds terribly negligent to me. He/She owes it to current clients to maintain their level of care and to not take on additional responsibilities that impact their care....unless it was all done very gradually with your collaboration (regarding your own input around session frequency, other resources, long term plan, etc) and safeguards are in place to make sure you had access to extra care if you needed it while he/she was unable to provide it.

This would certainly be a deal-breaker for me. I could not trust this therapist.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Tonight I'm seriously thinking that maybe therapy isn't a good idea if I react this strongly to her sudden absence. I feel like my trust has been broken again, like always, as it is with everyone.

I definitely relate to this. My T cancelled suddenly last spring and I found out at work. I dissociated completely and had to stagger to a colleague I trust for help and comfort. I was late for a meeting and barely functional during it.

I think this means we have attachment issues, and I think in the long run they’re worth working through. The pain is immense, though.

[coolibrarian]

For many years, I went once a week, every week. At some point, that changed and now I see T once a week, every two weeks. Also, she only works 2.5 days a week (that is, she's only in the office then), so it feels like a much longer time to wait between sessions. I can call anytime, and if I say it's urgent, she will call me back, even if it's not on days she is in the office.
I'm sorry that your T is cutting your sessions down. I think she made a mistake in telling you why she is doing so; it does nothing to help you and, in fact, has hurt you. I think she could have said something else, "I need to cut your sessions down to once a week." Period. She didn't need to tell you why. I would point this out to her. I'd be interested in her response.

[Taylor27]

I would see if she could do phone or email? I think it's unfair she cut your sessions down. i think she needs to find away to fit you in to make it possible to still see her twice a week. I do not do well with changes either. Hugs

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by InkyBooky

...This would certainly be a deal-breaker for me. I could not trust this therapist.

I agree. I hate to say it because its kinda heart-wrenching, isnt it? But it feels like this t has checked out.

[SlumberKitty]

I don't believe this was a therapeutic move on the part of your therapist. It sounds like this T doesn't have your best interests at heart. I'm sorry about that. HUGS Kit

[nottrustin]

I agree that this move doesn't seem to be be moticated by what is in your best interest but rather the program's. Will se be available for maybe some outside contact at least fir a while? Sorry this is happening to you.