Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

I'm so glad it went well and that people really listened.

My mom is coming to visit for a week over Thanksgiving, she was able to get plane tickets affordably enough! I'm excited cuz we had such a good visit last month. This is the most giantest thing I am thankful to therapy for, is that I have a real relationship with my mom now after so many years of not. Oh yeah it will have been 6 months since she's seen her grandson so she's looking forward to seeing him too.

That's great, Artie!

Now, on to prepare a talk about

Thanks! Good luck with your presentation!

Thank you!

Hahahaa apparently PC doesn't like us to refer to that particular part of the anatomy... the body part I named under the trigger warning got blanked out!

I was going to ask what that was, but I decided I just don't need to know.

Totally fair, NP

Ugh, I don't feel any kind of good. I emailed my T a particularly pathetic email last night in which I quoted Anne Gray:

"We could say then that the offer of regular meetings represents the therapist’s willingness to be available (to offer sustenance) to the client during stated times. Unavailability at other times represents the therapist both as frustrating but also containing. What I mean by this is that the mother who tries always to be available to her baby is attempting the impossible and is not containing the anxiety of having to wait. By not providing sessions on demand therapists demonstrate their belief in clients’ ability to manage without them."

I told him I wished the time between sessions felt containing instead of frustrating. Ugh.

Chihiro, thats an interesting quote. That reminds me of how as kids, we would look at kids who still "always" needed their mommy around as little crybabies, dint we - jealous on the one hand that they had that access, proud otoh that we had grown, however desperately, to manage without.

Someone commented that the 1 year old baby from yesterday seemed more mature then the others we'd seen. You could see it in his little face,The doc commented that was true because he had learn to go without.

Ditto. 😳

Jfyi , ranting, and public service announcement, I guess:

My DD, grandson and I went to a funeral Oct 14th (DD’s grandmother). Grandson had upper respiratory infection symptoms but was on antibiotics. He returned to the PCP next day...he has whooping cough! Ahhh! All those poor old ppl he was in contact with! DD didn’t know! She thought he was covered for an respiratory illness bc he was already on antibiotics!

Yesterday, DD also came down with yucky symptoms. Her PCP prescribed antibiotics and cough medicine and she is seeing the PCP today. She’s a mess! Plus, she has cardiomyopathy with a low functioning heart. Argh.

I’m not feeling well, but doing better than those two! I had my last booster in 2015 but I hear I may still get sick.
Public service announcement: pertussis aka whooping cough, is going around here in the Midwest!

All 3 of the kids are driving me bonkers today-even the infant. How is it possible to be frustrated by an infant.

Maybe this family just isn’t for me.

"Learning to go without" in reference to a child is a euphemism for not being taught how to recognise one's needs - which is the opposite of being mature and "adult".

They are always showing grandmas turning into big bad wolves giving it to babies on tv ads i guess it goes all ways. Hope you all feel better soon.

I think they meant more mature in terms of less innocent. No one was calling an infant an adult. But you do raise an interesting point - "learning to go without" is definitely a departure from a healthy growth pattern, which would begin with having ones needs met and recognising that one had needs.

Exactly. My point is that a loss of innocence in a child is not a mark of maturity; it is a mark of abuse and unmet needs.

I just rescheduled the date I was supposed to go on tonight. It was just some guy I had "met" (texted with) on one of the less-gross dating apps so I don't feel that guilty about it. I probably should have just gone because it'd be a good distraction but I just can't rally right now. I'm still sick and stuff is just not going well.

So guess whose therapist double-booked?

Too bad, cause she wore a killer outfit today—black turtleneck, black jeans, black boots. No cleavage. I would have described her as “hot.”

Plus side, I didn’t have much to talk about. Down side, I sent her the list of things I wanted to talk about Sunday and it was clearly labeled “on Tuesday.”

I hope your daughter and grandson recover well and that you don't catch it too.

That actually does sound like a killer outfit for her.

How did she handle it?

I think you made the right call in changing the date. Going out when you're already sick would be so much harder and less fun.

It's very possible to be frustrated by an infant. You're doing your best with them.

Hopefully they'll tire themselves out and settle down again.
Maybe there's been a small change in their routine?

Dude was actually really nice about me cancelling. We're gonna go out in a week or two instead.

Wow you were very brave in being honest with your own experience.