Couch 206: The Hersilia Couch

Hi Couchies, I'm wanting to SH and I don't even know why. Sigh. Dad is doing good. He just has to follow up with the GP and a cardiologist. I spent the weekend vegging out. It felt good and bad at the same time. HUGS all, Kit

You asked about a hazmat suit! I offered alternatives!

Try me.

I come back with a money back guarantee...

Thats good news about your dad!

That's lovely to read.

Tired of having a hard time over here. Three more sleeps 'til session.

Hugs, I'm sorry. Think that's called "postdrome." (I get migraines, too.) Hope you feel better soon.

Felt slightly awkward seeing T at first, like he could somehow tell he'd been in my dream last night (didn't mention it). But it was all good. He seemed surprised when I said I felt like Friday was one of the most productive sessions we'd ever had, but also pleased that I'd found him validating and supportive about D. Much of today centered around her, too, particularly how H and I don't communicate much about her. Like T said, "When was the last time you and H sat down together and said to each other, 'How do you think we're doing with D?'" Me: [after a long silence]: "Uh, I'm not sure if we've ever had that conversation?" I sometimes wish we'd seen Dr. T as a marriage counselor instead of ex-MC--I think he'd have been much more effective with us than ex-MC was. He'd certainly have challenged H more...

Oh, and it was also kinda funny that in the dream, he'd mentioned having 6 brothers and 13 sisters (I'm quite sure he doesn't have that many!), and today was one of only a few times he made reference to his brother (it was related to something we were talking about).

Session in half an hour. I don't really want to go. This isn't like me.

Hugs, NP...I can pocket ride, if you like.

Thanks, LT. It went okay. It was like pulling teeth, but I eventually told him why I didn't want to come today. And cried a lot. Now I have a headache.

4 year old at work lost it again today. It’s like I take 2 steps forward with this kid then 12 steps back.

I think this poor kid has a lot to deal with. His parents are gone a lot (you work a lot of hours), he has a new adult (you - even though you are kind), his rules have changed because of the new adult, he has a new baby and another younger sibling to deal with, and so on. I think he is overwhelmed, out-numbered and can't express himself or when he does it is like no one listens (I know you are - but possibly does not seem like it to him). I don't know how to help but it sounds hard to be either of you.

I am listening to various versions of Leroy Anderson's Sandpaper Ballet. So far the most unique has been the Taiwanese Mandoline Festival version. My dad was a percussionist and often would play this on a record while he did the sandpaper part along with the record when we were little

Thanks. I know it’s very hard to be him. He has a lot of insight into his own feelings. He is able to tell me how he feels. He tells me all the time that he is angry but doesn’t know why. I told him I will help him figure out why. Today he took his anger out on his infant brother. It was not good. His parent was there when it happened so it wasn’t totally just on my watch. He will be getting help by some pediatric professionals very soon.

IF I could have done away with my sibling when I was 3- I would have.

I hated my older sister and would have done away with her but I loved and still love my younger one.

He’s the oldest and very jealous of his younger sister and brother even though they are all treated equally. Well..there is some inequality with the infant of course since he still needs to be spoon fed and such.

To the oldest - there is no equally - they are usurpers. The falsity of we can love more than one child (and yet most adults get worked up about non-monogamy) and we love/treat you all equally is seen differently depending on your position. My parents treated my sibling and I the same, but my mother liked my sibling more than she did me.
I am not saying it is fun for you -but I do identify with the horribleness of having younger siblings and not being able to obliterate them.

Good point, SD. I didn’t think of it that way.

I’ll need to talk to him tomorrow and ask him if he still likes being called the big kid. (He did last week) but maybe now he feels pressure or something.

I also chafe when I hear adults (not about you - this is just me being on a roll) chiding small children about sharing when rarely do adults just hand over the keys to a new car or their home or iphone or any other treasured any possession to some acquaintance who stops by and wants it.

Lately I’ve been making them just wait their turn or offer a trade. Today the girl wanted a toy he was playing with so I directed him to tell her “I’ll give it to you when I’m done using it
Would you like to play with___while you wait?” And that worked out.

Jersey, we need you in the State Department.

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I just feel sick and sad and I want to email my T so badly

I hope you feel better real soon.