Couch 207: The spiced gingerbread couch

Hugs, Shehulk. Maybe you can emphasize that CPS probably feels they have to do SOMETHING, based on the kids acting out? But like what happened yesterday with the mall crafts - it wasnt like a big abusive deal, but something like that can be scary and depressing to kids; he threatened their sense of reality. Thats what bothered me most about my family - what THEY said held, not what was actually true.

Then again, a mans home is his castle - thats what my dad always said. But dr phil says, you never want to get the government involved. So maybe the two of you can figure out what you need to do to get past this.

I thought about you yesterday, sharing your stories in the workshops, when it came time to share our journeys with the group. Sorta similar, i guess in a way! I was nervous, we were a group of 16 sitting in a big circle that filled the room, but I took a deep breath each time and just went for it. I didn't share as much on Saturday, only a little. It was a very accepting and non judging group (well we had to be that's kind of a rule in circle, you don't judge anyone else's experience) so I guess in that way maybe it's different. I dunno. You inspired me to share, in any case.

This 4 year old sounds super intelligent but my knowledge of 4 year olds is limited. Maybe he is not being stimulated enough? Idk know just throwing it out there

Yeah with 2 younger siblings already? They would each have their own nanny at Downton Abbey.

Wow, this sounds so much like my mom and my childhood... My mom wanted (still wants) to put up the outward appearances. Feeling like I had to be the "good girl" not just to her but to everyone. It's something I've been addressing with Dr. T. And I think it's playing a role in how I parent, too, thinking I'm failing if I get upset with my D. I'm glad the workshop helped you realize it.

The workshop sure opened me up to seeing things about myself, that's for sure...

I feel like your example of what you've done is different. I've said things like that. Once when she was much younger, we'd have to transport her from the special ed preschool to daycare. She didn't like to go with me, preferred H. One of the times I picked her up, she laid down on the ground and refused to move. The teacher suggested I just leave her there and keep walking, saying I'm leaving, assuming she'd get up and come after me. Nope, she kept laying there as I walked away (I went back, obviously, and had to carry her to the car). And we've certainly said things about how if she wouldn't get ready to leave, that we weren't going anywhere. Or if just one of us was going, then she'd stay here with the other. I think those are fine. Or saying if she keeps doing x, then no ice cream or no Kindle Fire or something like that.

My T also seemed on the fence about whether H's threat to D this morning was problematic, though seemed to be leaning slightly toward it being so. He said I should definitely talk to him about it, when things are calm. Maybe to figure out why he said it. And to talk about how we want to handle stuff like that, when she's upset.

His 2 hours of preschool 4 times a week is not enough for him. I know he’s not stimulated there. His teacher walked out of the room very proud and said “He knows all his colors!” Of course he knows all his colors. He’s 4... typical kids learn their colors when they are like 18 months old.

I try to make up for it at home by doing math problems and writing letters and having him do books with mazes in them to stimulate him.

I think once you guys have that session with P (is it?) that you can bring that up and get her take on it. It’s the anxiety part that bothered me about the comment more than anything. Like you think D has anxiety but don’t know yet where that anxiety stems from so it was very unfair of H to say that to her because then she is at school all day worried about weather she’s gonna get picked up. Ya know? That’s what bugs me. Maybe H needs to compare it to something that makes him nervous and imagine sitting with that nervous feeling all day. Why would he intentionally want to make his daughter feel that way?

But is the daughter anxious about this sort of thing? I mean one can be anxious but not about it all. Plus it has never seemed to me from the descriptions that the daughter is in any way afraid of her father.

No..I said they don’t yet where the anxiety comes from. So those threats shouldn’t take place. It’s speculation. What if she does have anxiety about that sort of thing. LT and H don’t know yet. So why not take precautions.

Because she seems to have a good relationship with her father. I would not go to disasterville yet

I was thinking i would have to go live with the nuns or go home with a teacher or a friend. As in, no worries, dad, smell ya later!

Yup I definitely did too much, dinner is a bag of chips and some bubly water.

I would have thought my grandmother would come get me.

Or make sure the child knows how to use a phone - if you are ever lost call X sort of thing.

I believe as a parent never make a threat you won't (or can't) follow through on. That being said I definitely understand being frustrated and just saying stuff, what does H say now?

I think the servants in my household (read: H and I) are going to have to stage a revolt. We have provided the 3 feline overlords with 3 separate litter boxes for awhile now, but for some apparently divine reason known only unto them they have recently stopped using 2 of them and are using only one (the smallest one even) so we have to clean the dang thing constantly...

Are the boxes scratched through, so the smell is embedded? Maybe you need new ones. Plus ive read you should have one for each cat, plus one for the house. Maybe if you get a new "house" one and they do use it, that will prove my hypothesis?

Art, if the boxes are scattered throughout the house, maybe they like that location; can you add another box in that area?
And technically Una is right, it's 1 for each cat plus 1 extra.

I dunno.... they're all different heights, so it's possible they just all like the smallest one because it's got the lowest sides... Stormy & Rascal are getting up there in years... maybe tomorrow after work I'll go buy another one exactly like the one they all use and see if they start using that one too...

We tried that... they follow it. I somehow never knew the 1 extra thing. Oops! Bad cat mom.

It sounds like you are right; they must like that particular box then!

No, you aren't at all. I only know that from watching "My Cat from Hell."

I want to talk to my T tonight or someone who isn't going to be a judgemental you know what. I feel like I'm messing everything up.
Pdoc is weaning me off this med but hasn't talked about replacing it with anything. Today's appointment was so rushed it was ridiculous.
The feelings I'm having tonight are intense.

Do you think you need to be hospitalized at this point? Nothing seems to be really helping you. Pdoc taking you off meds? T seeing you 4-5 times a week? And it's not helping.

I'm not trying to be mean, but it seems like your instability is affecting your whole family. AND they need you. Do you think if you got appropriate help, you could function better? I just see you posting in so much pain. There's got to be something better. Are you being honest with your Pdoc and T?

Art—One does not revolt from cats. One complies with their demands.

You are a minion. Accept your lot.