Storming out

This is a first for me. Today I stormed out of the therapist room within the first 10 minutes.
She was worried about me and said she would call some of my family members. I said no but she wanted to anyway. I felt a breach of trust and like I was treated like a child. I got angry and left. She tried to stop me but I had made up my mind.

Who else has done this and what caused it for you?

I did that once with a therapist over 30 years ago and once with another about 18 years ago. In both cases it was because I felt what I now know to be a profound disrespect of me from them, and it ended both therapies. I did not make new appointments.

I guess it would be more accurate to say that what happened in the therapists' offices triggered dissociated feelings of profound disrespect from the past. In both cases the disrespect of me was there in what they did, but was somewhat minor. Nevertheless, I did not not and could not trust either of those therapists again.

I have done this as well but at the dentists.They tell me what they are going to do and it scares me. Therapist stating she's going to call your family !! She sounds not compassionate to me.

I've never done that personally, although I have left sessions early if I was just too overwhelmed. Did your T contact any of your family members? I'm sorry you felt like you were being treated like a child. I had that experience last night in T appointment as well. I'm mad about it but I suppose I will get over it. Do you think you can talk to your T next session about your response and what you were feeling? HUGS Kit

Decades ago I stormed out of a therapy session. I did return to my next session, but the T diagnosed me as having "BPD traits." It still annoys me to this day that he laid that dx on me because he mishandled the issue in the session.

No she didn’t. But she did send people from her team after me because she was worried about me. They called me and I met and talked to them.
Haven’t talked to my T yet. Don’t know if I can trust her now to not do certain things even if I tell her not to..

Do you think your T had any reason to think you were going to harm yourself? If so then they may have been bound by ethical guidelines to contact a family member. I know here in the UK all therapists that are members of the BACP have to contact a GP or emergency contact if the have reason to believe that their client is likely to cause harm to themselves even if the client does not want them to. So maybe it was more about ensuring that you were safe than anything else?

Can you find a new therapist? This one sounds highly reactive. Also, I never gave the therapist a correct phone number or name of anyone to contact. If need be, just make one up and put that down. If I ever tried therapy again, I doubt I would give them my correct name and address.

Did not happen for me but I am sure I would have reacted the same way. I would never give therapists a contact person - if they demanded, I would look for another therapist or make it up. And if they made comments like that, I would never be back. Any breach of confidentiality would cause me to stop seeing anyone, not only a therapist, but 100% confidentiality is what I absolutely expect of them. Treating me as though I was a child would also be a deal breaker very soon.

I have done it once, and almost another time. My T is not a fan of acting out, and he let me know that many people would like that slot, and that is not how to express anything, and that 3x you're out. I have never tested that line again. However, the reaction created problems too , as it seemed authoritarian and lacking in warmth & curiosity. once emotions run that high, it is a big deal to repair the relationship. I hope you reconnect, if that what you really need down deep.

I would not put up with a therapist telling me others were waiting for the time I hired them to be at their office. I would have walked out and left them to it. Probably after saying there were plenty of therapists out there and that particular one was not all that important to me. Any therapist who is that egomaniacal is not a therapist I am going to hand money to.

Yes we had been talking about suicidal thoughts and I am in a rough spot right now. I understand her position too. But I think she should listen when I repeatedly say I don’t want her to contact family members and she then overrules me. I just feel like the cooperation between us broke down.

I'm so, so sorry that you feel a breach in the trust you have with your therapist. I know that awful feeling. It does sound like she was genuinely concerned about you. I definitely would not want my t to call a family member - but I'd rather that than calling the cops. In the U.S. therapists are mandated reporters so are bound to notify the cops if someone has intent to suicide.

After having been dragged in handcuffs to a miserable, tiny room in a rotten psych ward last year I made up my mind that I will never, never disclose any reason for a mandated reporter to take action.

Anyway, my thought is that you take a few breaths, sleep on it, and speak with her about this whole situation...see where things go from there.

You have my sympathy.

I'm going to my therapist in 3 days, so what you say scares the hell out of me! Idk what I'd do but I'll have to remember to never give my therapist contact info to anyone.

Wow I'm speechless. Sorry to hear that happened to you. So much to learn here at PC. Never let therapists here in the U.S. know you're suicidal with a plan.

Okay, not only have I done this, two weeks ago, but tomorrow is my first appointment back. The first four minutes of interaction with the T triggered feelings of abandonment. I tried to stay longer but I felt like I was completely unheard. I've been with this T for 13 years. I am unsure how tomorrow will go. I'm nervous. It is not like there are very many therapists in my rural area if she terminates me.

I don't know the story behind the post you quoted, but just wanted you to know that my T knows about my plan, and has known about all of my suicidal feelings. She has never threatened the cops/psych ward on me, but she has expressed her worry of my safety after I left session. She did make clear that she is a mandated reporter, but we have always had conversations around it, and she has trusted me when I said I'd call her first before actually acting on the plan.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer Wow I'm speechless. Sorry to hear that happened to you. So much to learn here at PC. Never let therapists here in the U.S. know you're suicidal with a plan.

Thank you, I appreciate your kindness. Just to be clear - it wasn't a therapist who called the cops on me, it was someone online (not here). I confided in the person and asked her not to tell anyone because I needed to sleep and get my thinking straight. Next thing I knew 2 cops were at my door.

I was afraid she would call the cops too. Tried that before and it’s not a nice experience.

I feel enraged reading that. He is not a "fan" of "acting out?" Of course, he gets to define what is and what isn't acting out, I'm sure. And even if a client is acting out, there's a reason for it and it's literally his job to help the client with whatever issue is behind the acting out. Sure, maybe acting out isn't a good way to communicate things, but lots of people with trauma don't know how to operate differently and again, it's literally his job to help with that since he's supposedly a trauma therapist. Plus, sometimes therapists don't ****ing listen and it seems like the only way to get through their thick skulls is to take drastic action. He has a huge ego, so I'm sure he's no exception.

Sorry for the rant, but that really angers me. I think I would terminate with a therapist who made that sort of threat, especially when you had only walked out once and it wasn't like you were walking out of a good number of sessionsa. And the part about other people wanting the slot is completely inappropriate.

Look as someone who is a mandated reporter-if they felt you could be at risk they HAD to call someone. If you had hurt yourself they’d probably have felt awful AND could get in big trouble. They don’t like doing it anymore then you do.’trust me. It’s a lot of paperwork.

And I’m speaking from experience as I’ve also been threatened with it and had cops called on me.

I stormed out of a Pdoc’s office once. Had been working with him for a few years. Liked him well enough until that last day.

He waited until the last five minutes or so in the session and said, ‘When we meet again we’ll discuss who you will be seeing next..’ I was stunned.

I’m sure I asked ‘what are you talking about?’ ‘I don’t want to change doctors.’ He said something about referring me to a woman Pdoc colleague of his.. But he wouldn’t answer, ‘Why.’ He wanted to address that at the next session.

When I realized he wasn’t going to change his mind, I replied, ‘I’m not coming back here next week and pay $$$ your fee just to get a *name* from you!...’

I was furious.

I stormed out of his individual office and slammed his door as I walked into the waiting room full of patients..and I left.

I still feel it was pretty chicken ***** of him to bring this up at the very END of that session...and never explaining *why* he wanted to terminate me. He should have started the session with these issues. What a fkng controlling power play, on his part!

Now, looking back, I’m guessing he couldn’t handle any part of my attachment feelings...but that was such a sh!tty hateful thing to spring on me....I’m guessing he was angry with me for some reason...this was an act of an angry, controlling prick. But I have no idea why he was angry with me...I liked the guy.

He never gave me a referral. I asked his receptionist (which I never should have given him the opportunity to hurt me again, but I did). The receptionist relayed he would NEVER refer a patient like me to one of his colleagues..after the way I had left his office. I’m sure he didn’t say it as nicely as I’m relaying. Sooo much time and $$$ I wasted on this guy...

Quote:

Originally Posted by precaryous I stormed out of a Pdoc’s office once. Had been working with him for a few years. Liked him well enough until that last day. He waited until the last five minutes or so in the session and said, ‘When we meet again we’ll discuss who you will be seeing next..’ I was stunned. I’m sure I asked ‘what are you talking about?’ ‘I don’t want to change doctors.’ He said something about referring me to a woman Pdoc colleague of his.. But he wouldn’t answer, ‘Why.’ He wanted to address that at the next session. When I realized he wasn’t going to change his mind, I replied, ‘I’m not coming back here next week and pay $$$ your fee just to get a *name* from you!...’ I was furious. I stormed out of his individual office and slammed his door as I walked into the waiting room full of patients..and I left. I still feel it was pretty chicken ***** of him to bring this up at the very END of that session...and never explaining *why* he wanted to terminate me. He should have started the session with these issues. What a fkng controlling power play, on his part! Now, looking back, I’m guessing he couldn’t handle any part of my attachment feelings...but that was such a sh!tty hateful thing to spring on me....I’m guessing he was angry with me for some reason...this was an act of an angry, controlling prick. But I have no idea why he was angry with me...I liked the guy. He never gave me a referral. I asked his receptionist (which I never should have given him the opportunity to hurt me again, but I did). The receptionist relayed he would NEVER refer a patient like me to one of his colleagues..after the way I had left his office. I’m sure he didn’t say it as nicely as I’m relaying. Sooo much time and $$$ I wasted on this guy...

What a complete a-hole! Wow!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 Look as someone who is a mandated reporter-if they felt you could be at risk they HAD to call someone. If you had hurt yourself they’d probably have felt awful AND could get in big trouble. They don’t like doing it anymore then you do.’trust me. It’s a lot of paperwork. And I’m speaking from experience as I’ve also been threatened with it and had cops called on me.

I read an article recently in a psychiatric medical journal that covered what happens legally if a patient suicides. The article stated that any time the patient of a mental health professional suicides there is a mandatory investigation to be sure that the pdoc or therapist took proper action with the patient to prevent suicide. If the investigation reveals that the pdoc or t. in some way encouraged the person to suicide, they can be prosecuted.

I was very surprised to learn of such a thing. I guess it's one reason why they keep such meticulous records.

Do therapists and or psychologists or psychiatrist make patients sign contract for safety and also ask if the person is suicidal without a plan. It seems best that a mental health provider help calm the person down and realize that threatening to call a family member or the police is not calming the person down. If I was the patient I would prefer having a peer to call to discuss when I’m possibly suicidal, but then the peer can discuss this with me and help with not acting on theses feelings.