Couch 209: The Kummer Couch

This is a pretty funny review of Cats (not clean, definite dropping of the f-bomb):

Oh, i dont know, now that you ask.

That wheaton - shatner thing was hilarious, thanks!!

Yes, it's a series. Season 2 has already been green-lighted.

He emailed me. I spent a while crafting a response and now I feel utterly miserable partly because I allowed myself to reflect a little too deeply and partly because I won't hear from him again until after the holiday.

I'm really really really sad. I saw L today, our last session before the break. I have 10 days without her. That would be nothing if I was with T, but I see L twice a week, and am used to the schedule. I'm also fighting a battle of depression currently. Part of it is being a childless aunt, holidays, finances, taking care of dad and H, being away from L and having minimal contact with her.

She was super super sweet today. She gave me two transitional objects: one from her office, and one she made. She gave me a note to read when I feel I need it. She's going to contact me when she gets there and when she comes back. Long story short, she's going to contact me if there's been a terrorist attack. She's going to contact me on Christmas and reply to an email I write on the 28.

We didn't play the game today. However, I asked her if I could ask her questions while we played whenever that might be. She said yes, and we both agreed she gets to ask questions too. I'm now really looking forward to that.

I saw my PCP today too. She also was sweet. I told her how depressed I am. She asked me what she could do and I asked her for another appointment to have someone to check-in with. She agreed. Makes me feel a little safer during the holidays.

I think it is possible to make different choices about the holidays. I don't know many adults who actually like holidays (unless one is still working and a holiday means a paid day off)- but there are some it seems. The good part about being an adult is that one can make choices for one's self about what to do about them.

I feel absolutely miserable today from this cold but did go out and take the kids to see 2 Santas. The kids also did cookies. Now I'm laid up in the couch trying to get a minute to myself. H saw I wrote that I had a cos appointment for myself next week and he started asking if I was going to report him. He's in denial that he's been doing this stuff for the past 4 years.

Its Christmas eve here i am signing for the next few days. Hope everyone has a safe and manageable Christmas and remember its ok to walk away.

Oh Gawd, I am sorry you are at Cats! I dont like musicals either, and I saw this one as a kid while my grampa tried to explain T.S. Eliot wrote it. I do feel sad for the cat whose coat is now shabby and who has grown old ( Memories), but I cant recall her name as is was seriously 30 years ago that I saw this. Mr. Mistopheles??? Nope. Wrong cat.

Just got awesome news. My sister is moving into the house my dad bought her this coming Saturday! The agreement is not signed but the lawyer told her it doesn’t matter and that she should move if she’s going to move. She’s protected from being sued from him for the mortgage and bills. The battle is not over. She’s not divorced and won’t be for quite awhile but at least she won’t be LIVING with him anymore.

Now I have to go hire some muscle for Saturday to help her move. Thank Goodness. I really think her living away from him will help her see this thing through a clearer lense.

I have felt this way at the end of relationships( not saying this is true here!!!), where some part of me that used to participate in sex as a heart-to-heart talk of an immense kind has nothing more to say and doesn't want to listen. However, when I got divorced, ironically that physical chemistry never waned. So I have no wisdom- just a lot of experience with how desolate and terrible this feels. I think it is a measurement of if you want to increase or decrease your involvement with him on a very deep level based on if he meets your needs and "sees" you in an intimate, discovering way outside of sex. It is a bitter pill to meet someone 's sexual needs if they are not meeting your emotional ones a " good enough" amount of the time the rest of life. This is all hard with kids, holidays, daily life, habits, over familiarity. Relationships are really, really hard.

Jersey, that is huge. Just having her own space to breathe is going to help.

You’re an awesome sister.

I am wide awake at 4 am because I ate too many gumdrops while we made gingerbread houses.

I picked up fluffy gray kitty today. She is gorgeous and sweet. She’s got orangey splotches all over. She and little white-whiskers kitty liked each other right away when I dropped her at my niece’s.

Hi All. My sister texted and said they might come in late tonight instead of tomorrow. Sigh. I told her we have Church at 6 PM and then a party at a Church Member's house afterward so we won't be home until maybe 8:30 PM. I was looking forward to at least a quiet Christmas morning. Might not even get that now. I know I sound selfish, and maybe I am. I'm not as disappointed about this news as I was the news finding out that she was coming on Christmas, instead of the day after. Pastor T, who I talked to last night, said it was okay to not be happy about the arrangements. That it is good that I am accepting them, and trying to come to peace with them, but it doesn't mean I have to be happy about them. My feelings matter too, even if no one asked me what my preferences are about the holiday plans. Sigh. Today I am at work. It doesn't even seem like tomorrow is Christmas.

My friends have been great about visiting me while I'm in the hospital. Yesterday my local BFF brought Indian food, a smattering of necessities, and an adorable stuffed pig. She's such a gem.

(We can't take pictures in here so I found a photo online of the stuffed pig she brought.)

I *was* able to tell Pastor T that I would prefer to skip next week, as we would have to talk on the phone and not meet in person, so now I don't see him until the 6th of January. I wasn't very talkative with him last night, which is usually how I am on the phone but we've never had a phone session before so he didn't know that. He made sure I had my safety plan in place, which I do. I was feeling okay about there being 13 days without any T contact (him or regular T) but this morning I feel anxious/nervous about it). Not sure why.

You have good friends.

The muscle for the move on Saturday has been hired. The Uhal has been reserved.
All in a mornings work. I also went to the supermarket to pick up stuff I needed to bring to my SIL house for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

I think I want another cup of coffee or a nap. Or maybe a cup of coffee then a nap.
Vice Versa.

Aw, that's so sweet of your friend, Chihiro.

That's nice of your friends to visit you, Chihiro.

I need to make roasted veggies for Christmas Eve dinner at my in-laws tonight. I don't feel like it. I already avoided the actual shopping by getting free Amazon Prime delivery from Whole Foods. And I have to wrap more presents. I don't feel like doing any of these things, let alone going to the actual Christmas Eve festivities with his family, then tomorrow with my family (we'll have D open "Santa" presents here in the morning). Sigh. Doesn't help that I slept poorly last night and had a weird dream about my high school teacher (the one I had feelings for who later told me never to contact him again). I also have some work due the day after Christmas that I need to finish. On the plus side, I did have a good Paint Nite experience last night, painting a cabin in the snow on a lake. And D is being silly and fun today--hoping that will last.

In the UK there's a big company that lets your pre order cooked food so you just have to heat it up and serve if needed. Maybe you could try that next year, but for now perhaps try to simplify the menu as much as you possibly can. One main two sides one desert etc. Can you rope H to help cook?

Do the presents really have to be traditionally wrapped? I can see my self doing the pillow case thing. Do you have spare fabric?

15+ Wrapping Paper Alternatives

Have you ever done Christmas in your own home with zero travelling?

Stating the obvious- the dream to me is about feeling trapped, and I can understand in connection with your post. Trapped with expectations perhaps and being somewhere where you don't want to be.

I hope you can just simply say sorry, the new plans don't work for me.

I could never be so outright, so understand why it might also be hard to say so.

I'm glad you've got them in your corner.

Have you named him?

He looks like a Percy the pig, but that's not very unique.

I'm sure your sister will be grateful for all the support.

I hope you can do both! Nap and a coffee!