[Broken69]

Hello everyone,

I'm feeling kind of lost. I really do want to improve, but finding help is difficult at best for me. I feel I need to add some (hopefully brief) history for you to understand my problem.

I'm a 38 year old man with PTSD and major depressive disorder, along with medical problems...basically, I'm a mess.

I was severly injured a few years back, while in the military. I was exposed to a blister agent, which should have killed me, but did not. My physical recovery from the burns only took about a month and a half to heal, but I started having real problems shortly after.

I went to our base mental health office seeking help, and was seen by a counselor, who continued to see me until I was medically retired a little over a year later. He had referred me to the base psychologist, and both tried to help me, but ultimately weren't able to. I liked the counselor, and psychiatrist, though both were pretty inexperienced. We tried a lot of different medications for depression, anxiety and sleep problems. I have never responded to any of the depression medications, and responded to sleep meds for about 2 weeks. I did respond well to Clonazepam(sp)for anxiety problems.

Once I was medically retired, I went to the local Veterans Affairs(VA) hospital, and found they wouldn't recognize any of my conditions until I went through their system, which took about a year. They did allow me treatment for the PTSD and depression, since that was on my orders, pending their examinations.

I started with a psychiatrist, who kept me on the same meds that hadn't been working for the prior 6 months, and made me stop the one medication that did work. I was also assigned a psychologist, who put me in unstructured group therapy every 2 weeks which was designed for Viet Nam Vets. He also said he would be able to see me 1 on 1 about every 3 months or so, which was a bit of a shock considering the seeing the base counselor every week, and psychiatrist ever 3 weeks. After about 3 months, the psychologist moved me to another Viet Nam group which was more instructional, and structured, which was better than the other group, but it didn't quite fit. This group lasted about 3 months, and then nothing, until I was reassigned to a new psychologist. By the second or third monthly visit, my examinations were complete, after which time, he would start our sessions with a statement that let me know he did not agree with my diagnosis...he would say "Looks like you've been diagnosed with PTSD, so I guess you have PTSD." I didn't think this was a great way to start out, and it angered me greatly, but I never really said anything for fear my anger would get worse.

I stopped with the medications, and the psychotherapy about 7 months ago, as the meds weren't helping, and the therapy was just unproductive at best, and made me feel worse.

I am easily frustrated and angered, though I control the frustration and anger fairly well, it still eats at me inside. I lose all focus and concentration.

I've tried looking into the VA for more ways to get help, and with Social Security, but everything is so involved, paperwork intensive, and lengthly that it would seem it's specifically designed to keep people from being able to use any of it.

I really don't know where to start, or what to do. I almost feel like I need figure out how to afford a lawyer just so I can get decent medical care. Does anyone have any ideas, or know of programs designed to help with somebody in my situation?

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, and in advance for any advice you may have.

Danny

[MissCharlotte]

Hi Danny,

Welcome.

I'm sorry you are not feeling well and have been unable to find a therapist to help you. You must feel abandoned! Well, you have come to the right place. There are loads of people here to help you!

Good therapy should occur on a weekly basis or at least every 2 weeks. Monthly visits are not optimal for healing.

Could you ask the VA for another psychologist, one who is a trained trauma expert?

Another idea would be to get in touch with NAMI in your area (should be in the phone book). Look it up at www.nami.org

Also, you can try to find a qualified therapist from a nearby university. They often have mental health units where therapists are trained, or at least a referral service. Remember you need a therapist who is trained in trauma. I will continue to try and think of resources for you.

Stay well and take care over the holidays.

Peace.

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry I have no knowledge of the military system and how it works, or in this case doesn't. I know the paperwork can be overwhelming in any governmental agency. There are people here who have gone through the non-military system successfully and they may be able to help you.

I just wanted you to know that I am sorry you have had and are having so much difficulty in obtaining help.

BB

[Perna]

Hey, Danny, welcome to PC. Thank you for your military service. My brother has PTSD from Vietnam (he was thrown out of the Army a year shy of retirement for alcoholism so got nothing, no benefits, retirement pay, anything) but is doing extremely well and is reasonably happy and still working at 66 (because he wants to). Life can get better after military service messes it up.

I would hire a local social worker/red-tape clerical worker :-) to work with you on getting everything out of the VA and/or Social Security systems that you can and making sure you understand all of it. Maybe a psychiatric/mental health nurse practitioner (who'd understand your medical and mental health problems and how they interact). Sounds like you need a really good "case worker" -- and that you might have to hire one privately who can help with the paperwork and advise you on options and what might be the best way forward for you either in the "system" or privately.

I'd contact the local Pennsylvania VA people in Annville, Philadelphia, or Pittsburgh, whichever is closest to you, http://www.milvet.state.pa.us/DMVA/Common_1_0.htm and see what they suggest, if they have counselors to help with all the paperwork and to counsel you on what your options are, etc.

It might be good to stay in the VA system for some therapy, especially group therapy, as they have other vets with similar problems (and the "world" does not) while seeing people outside for other of your problems as the outside is often more advanced and less militarily regimented in its mindset of what you "must" do. If the outside jerks you around you can change doctors, therapists, etc. unlike in the military system. You may want to get good "help" from a good social worker on setting up a system using both systems that works well for you and gets the VA to pay, etc.

[pachyderm]

I don't know if it would help you, but it helps me to supplement what I can get in the way of real-people therapy with lots of reading on the subject of PTSD or whatever you think is closest to you. There are books and Web sites that I find very helpful. Just start with a Google search and maybe your local public library.

[EJ711]

Danny,

Different professionals have different ideas about what PTSD is.

I am angry with the people in Washington, who should be providing good care for our returning vets and are failing to do so, or making it ridiculously difficult. I think they have put all the emphasis on the physical medical issues, and have missed the boat on just about everything else.

I'm glad you have received some first class ideas from the posters above me on this thread.



Placing you with Vietnam Veterans also sounds inadequate to say the least. The nature of these wars
is different.

It's hard enough to heal from what happened to you while defending our country, without having to deal with limited and simply bad support systems.

I have often said that bad therapy is worse than no therapy at all, but I will pray that you can find some good professionals to help you through some of the resources cited above.

EJ

[Susan27]

hi again danny. i hate hearing this. i mentioned in my reply to your introduction that my dad was 100% service related disabled and fortunately, received mental health benefits for his entire life. it sounds like you are going to have to fight to get a service related disability so that you can receive the funds to provide yourself with the care that you need. perhaps then you can afford to get private counseling, weekly, and a good psychiatrist to help you with your meds. i'm also sorry they took you off the klonopin...it's a great med for PTSD and anxiety. they don't like to use it because of it's addiction but i've been on it for 15 years and it's been a life saver.

maybe the first place to start is to do some google searches and see how you can go about finding legal resources to help you in your battle for benefits with the VA. you are so right, they make you go thru so much to get help and the overwhelming process makes it almost impossible for someone already in rough shape to do it for themselves. you will probably need an advocate of some sort to help you with it. do you have a close friend or family member who can assist you with this process?

a lawyer can only do so much, you almost need a specialized VA rep...patient advocates person thru the VA to assist you in this one. they can be so tough to deal with.

God I wish you well on this journey. You are in a tough position and i can understand all too well. if you have any questions or feel like chatting please PM me.

good luck danny.
susan

[ECHOES]

((( danny )))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I've tried looking into the VA for more ways to get help, and with Social Security, but everything is so involved, paperwork intensive, and lengthly that it would seem it's specifically designed to keep people from being able to use any of it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Use the energy from your anger to work on this, at a pace that works well for you. Start at the beginning and do what you can when you can. Everything you can do will move you closer to completion and to more help. Is there someone at the VA who could help you complete this paperwork? A friend who might help? Take it slow, at your own pace, celebrate and be proud of your hard work, and soon you will get from the beginning to the end.

Are there social service agencies, or community mental health services that you could also call and ask if they can help you since the VA doesn't seem to be able to?

Another resource may be crisis lines. They may know of places where help is available that they refer callers to.

I'm sorry you're feeling exasperated and frustrated and angry.

But I'm glad you came here to PC~~Welcome!

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Susan27 said:
i'm also sorry they took you off the klonopin...it's a great med for PTSD and anxiety. they don't like to use it because of it's addiction but i've been on it for 15 years and it's been a life saver.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It may work for some -- and not for others.