[Forgetmenot07]

It's the reverse of the question of what would you like to ask your therapist. Do you think your therapist is ever curious about you but doesn't ask because it would be unprofessional?

[ArtleyWilkins]

I doubt it. They asked what they needed to ask. They were never unprofessional, but I'm not sure what they would ask that would be unprofessional -- honestly, I can't imagine them ever asking anything without purpose and professionalism. Would have been completely out of character.

[maybeblue]

Once a therapist wanted to know how I did a particular thing that I showed her that I had done on the computer, but then she interrupted herself and said something like "never mind, I don't want to take up your time with that." She was very **** about time--most of the others I think have just asked what they were curious about even if it wasn't really related to therapy. Although who knows. Maybe some of them want to know stuff like "how much do you weigh" or "how often do you have sex?" and they just hide it.

[susannahsays]

I really doubt there's anything.

[Amyjay]

Yes. I imagine she would want to ask about my babies' father. It's trauma related and we are unable to discuss it still. She has ventured close to the topic twice before but backed off because it was so triggering.

[Omers]

I had a whole session where I told T he could ask anything (I did reserve the right to not answer). He was really hesitant at first but then got into it once he knew I really was OK with it. I think we are over due for another one of those sessions.
Currently I know he has a ton of questions about my hubby and I. I am guessing he might have questions about my son too and how I am dealing with him being gone.
Outside the realm of therapy I think he would really like to talk to me more about religion and spirituality.

[tikatikadoom]

Sometimes I get the feeling that my T wants to ask something. He sometimes implies that I'm holding back. I want to ask what he thinks I'm holding back, but then we'd have to actually talk about it and I don't actually want that!

[nottrustin]

I suspect their are in when the time is right she figures the answers were right. Few weeks ago we were talking about certain ways my CA still effects me today. I mentioned on way and she said she always wondered about that.

[Lonelyinmyheart]

I'm pretty open in therapy so I don't think there would be much that T would want to ask that I haven't already told her about. Perhaps not so much wanting to ask questions as to being curious about how I am with people outside of therapy - how I socialise with them, relate to them etc. But of course this is just my perception of what I imagine she might want to know. Perhaps she doesn't.

[velcro003]

My T once said that for me therapy is indicative of the things I choose not to talk about, than the things i do.. There are a few topics i avoid at all costs (sex, relationship stuff, food), so i bet she’s curious about those things.

My therapist asks anything and everything, no topic has ever been off limits for either of us.

[Mountaindewed]

Maybe more about my past since I’ve mentioned being in the psych hospital over 20 times and in different residential facility’s as a teenager. But we both know I’m there to focus on the right now and not what happened in the past so I don’t think she ever finds a relevant time to ask me.

While therapists may have biases towards their own patients, I doubt they'd ever express those biases for fear of being sued or losing their license.

[stopdog]

I doubt it. The woman was actually not all that interested in actually listening to anything I said.

I imagine she wants to ask me why I bother. Oh wait, no, that's what I am asking myself.

[SummerTime12]

I know that he wants to ask me about my OCD symptoms because he has said he is curious. It’s one thing I really don’t like to talk about because I have the irrational fear that talking about it will make it worse.

[SlumberKitty]

I think Pastor T wants to ask me "Why?! Why for the love of pete can't you just stop SH-ing?!!!"

[Forgetmenot07]

I am surprised that most don't think that there is anything your Ts want to know. Do you think they are immune to the: 'do you like me?' questions or 'do you think I am smart?' maybe that's my very immature way of thinking.
I think mine would like to know what I want I actually want from him.

[ArtleyWilkins]

Originally Posted by Forgetmenot07

I am surprised that most don't think that there is anything your Ts want to know. Do you think they are immune to the: 'do you like me?' questions or 'do you think I am smart?' maybe that's my very immature way of thinking.
I think mine would like to know what I want I actually want from him.

Yeah, I honestly don't think they would have cared if I thought they were smart, and it was obvious that I like them so why ask the question. They WERE smart--truly pretty brilliant individuals. I am smart and have no reason to ask other people if they think I am smart. Just seems like an odd question.

They knew what I wanted from them because I told them that. Do you not tell you therapist what you believe you need from them? How does therapy work if you don't do that?

[Forgetmenot07]

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Yeah, I honestly don't think they would have cared if I thought they were smart, and it was obvious that I like them so why ask the question. They WERE smart--truly pretty brilliant individuals. I am smart and have no reason to ask other people if they think I am smart. Just seems like an odd question.

They knew what I wanted from them because I told them that. Do you not tell you therapist what you believe you need from them? How does therapy work if you don't do that?

Yes of course I tell them what I want. I came with a very clear agenda but it seems that I wanted to avoid a lot and only discuss certain aspects of my life. With time sticking to the orginal issues seem impossible because other things surface all the time. I don't know maybe it's the way my therapy is going that makes me think he is not sure what we are both doing at the moment.
As for the question about them being smart. Do you think T never needs validation from clients?

[S4r4h]

I don't really think she see's anything wrong with me anymore, i usually seem pretty happy and she asks me about things, but i lie to her occasionally, last thing i want is to go back to a kiddie hospital that helps me with nothing

[ArtleyWilkins]

Originally Posted by Forgetmenot07

Yes of course I tell them what I want. I came with a very clear agenda but it seems that I wanted to avoid a lot and only discuss certain aspects of my life. With time sticking to the orginal issues seem impossible because other things surface all the time. I don't know maybe it's the way my therapy is going that makes me think he is not sure what we are both doing at the moment.
As for the question about them being smart. Do you think T never needs validation from clients?

Emotional validation? I doubt it.

I'm not even sure validation is the word I would use. Validation sort of connotes pats on the back or high fives or compliments somewhat to me. I honestly doubt that kind of validation really mattered to them. I think "validation" for them was when I was making some progress in some way (better communication, finding insight, maybe managing my symptoms in healthier ways, etc.). That validated that they were at least on the right track - results matter. (As a teacher, the best validation is when I see the light bulbs go on for my students, when they are pleased with themselves because they get it or see their improvement, etc. Sure, I get students who will give compliments directly, but the bottom line is that my teaching is getting through in some way to my students because that is my job.)

I do think they need feedback, and mine asked for it and encouraged my feedback. It was an understanding between us that if something felt off, if I didn't agree with something, if I needed something that wasn't happening, I should bring that up. How else were they to know if they needed to make adjustments, if their take on what was going on with me jived with my feelings about things, etc.?

[LostOnTheTrail]

'With time sticking to the orginal issues seem impossible because other things surface all the time.'

I had this conversation with my therapist today.


“If you expect to continue on the same trajectory in counselling for weeks or months without interruption, that can be unrealistic. Life stuff happens, and dealing with the things that are like that [hand in front of face] is often the best way.”

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Forgetmenot07

Do you think T never needs validation from clients?

Originally Posted by ArtleyWilkins

Emotional validation? I doubt it.

The woman I hired actually did complain a few times that I never made her feel good about her job or validated her. I think she did want or at least expected emotional validation from clients. I refused to give her any but I do think it was expected by her.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by stopdog

The woman I hired actually did complain a few times that I never made her feel good about her job or validated her. I think she did want or at least expected emotional validation from clients. I refused to give her any but I do think it was expected by her.

There was a definite air of fishing for compliments with all seven I have seen for any length of time.

A therapist who’s done their own work successfully might not need it. A therapist who hasn’t could be a different story.