Couch 211: The Stoffle couch

I just found a podcast that EMDR T did in December. It was all about the kind of cases she deals with and it was very interesting. I feel like a fraud though. My issues are nothing in comparison.

I'm having a difficult night. Feeling like a failure as a parent and as a person. I miss ex T like crazy, and really worry that I'm not going to find the support I need with any of these new Ts I'm trying out. It feels like too much energy to keep trying.

That seems like a pretty callous exercise. Yeah, the snake has to eat, but no need to take satisfaction out of the gruesome death of an innocent rat. It's disturbing that there would be entertainment value in that.

I have two pet rats.

You can always order your own turkey from a local farm next Thanksgiving, name it after your ex, then not only revel in its demise but feast on/symbolically desecrate the corpse afterwards.

Yeah, i wonder how that went over. Kinda reminds me of the "Shoot the gap!" tv commercial, where the boomers complained it encouraged dangerous driving and the millennials said we couldnt take a joke.

Eta - the turkey idea is pretty much the plot of the movie, "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And Her Lover." It was a more innocent time, up til then, anyway.

As a vegetarian, I won't be reveling in the demise of or consuming any turkeys, named after my ex or otherwise. The rats aren't being killed specifically for this event. They come to the zoo frozen and were going to be fed to the snakes anyway. They're not fed alive to the snakes and although I can't say for sure because I didn't research it any further, I have a feeling that the death of these rats is probably more humane than what happens in modern factory farming. They were also taking naming rights for cockroaches to be fed to other animals and the website mentioned something about humane cockroach breeders, so I imagine the rats are given the same consideration. It's just a way for the zoo to raise some funds.

What a gorgeous kitty, Mobius.

It took our crotchety old cat a while to get used to our kittens, but he kind of likes the company now, especially black and white kitty. She was swatting his tail the other day, and he turned around and knocked her with his paw hard enough to tip her off balance, but she just rolled over, looked up at him and started purring.

I wonder how many rat-meat rodents have been called comrademoomoo. I can imagine this is a ritual my therapist might enjoy - feeding me to a snake only to have my wretched remains regurgitated.

Had a hard two weeks at work (including a very long and intense day yesterday). I finally have two days off in a row (!) but my mind is stuck at work--I'm worried about this patient's CT scan and that patient's fever etc etc etc. I trust the docs who are taking over for me but I just can't stop ruminating and worrying. I don't know how to disentangle my mind.

Is there a video game or computer game you could play that would distract you? Or a book or movie that you love?

Only rats, then - if you hadn't missed out, of course. I'm a vegetarian, too and am perfectly aware of the evils of factory farming. I suggested a local farm, not Butterball. And I was being sarcastic, not making an actual suggestion.

Watching Dan in Real Life, one of my go-to comfort movies

I have a horrible headache today, and want to curl up and hide away in my room. Unfortunately that's not possible. My brother did take my sons swimming for a few hours which was a nice break.

I'm not sure why you're feeling the need to attack me for something I neither came up with nor participated in and, frankly, I don't need your snark on top of everything else in my life. If you feel that snakes in zoos shouldn't be fed rats, you'd be better off taking your outrage out on someone else because I have no control over how the rest of the world operates.

I watch Wet Hot American Summer or Gilbert and Sullivan operettas

Last night I dreamed of 2ex and it wasn’t a nightmare for once. It was in an apartment building laundry room and he’d gained even more weight. I was carrying food with gluten in it that I wanted to get rid of and I gave it to him.

Pretty obvious interpretations.

Wet Hot American Summer is one of my favorite movies.

I watch Rollerball. Old or new. The new one has cooler costumes. The old one is more like a real movie.

I watch Major League. Where no one bangs trash cans.

ETA: Nice shiny new avatar, una!

Its a beautiful new condo on Biscayne Bay named UNA!!! Wherever that is. It kinda looks like a stylized johnson.

Yes, I noticed that too. But I’m a lady so I didn’t mention it.

I went to visit my in-laws over the weekend and had a lot of fun, but I am totally spent. Supervising a busy toddler in an only partially baby-proofed space is exhausting.

Trigger for upsetting medical stuff about my uncle (mom's brother) who is in the hospital:


My mom is there and she didn't tell me any of this was happening, even though she knows my uncle and I are fairly close. I think she wanted to "show" me that I do need her after all even though we aren't in regular contact anymore. What a messed up time to do that.

Next weekend I'm going to drive back to my home state for the first time in almost three years to visit. It'll also be the first time that I go by myself (sans wife) in over nine years. Should be interesting...

Good, im glad its not just me.

Morning, Couch.

Last night was long and difficult. I have a work meeting tomorrow.
I am considering playing the first 50 seconds of a song in session on Thursday, but wondering whether that's a fabulous waste of time.

The song is not one I wrote, but the lyrics say a lot about my current state of mind.

On a winter hike

I have to fill out a parent rating scale (BASC3) for my 5 year old and some of the questions seem a bit much for a 2-5 year old. Not to mention that it's 139 questions. Between her and my oldest 2, I've filled out over 500 questions in the past week or 2 for IEPs and our in home therapy.