Nervous about my session tomorrow

My intent was not to upset Hope but to just clarify different things I have read on different posts. The only way to offer useful suggests and support is if we understand the situation. Disability and anything to do with medical can be very confusing and frustrating. I don’t want to make Hope’s life anymore difficult by giving bad information. But I would like to try and make things easier for her even if it is just how can she get 1 more hour of sleep a week. Got to start small some times.

While everyone seems to have good intentions, it does not really seem like Hope is asking for help managing her finances or dealing with her car.

Hope, I'm sorry you had a bad session with your T. While you're understandably angry and hurt right now, I think it is better that you go to your next appointment, try to work things out and move forward. All relationships hit rough spots and the ones that survive anyway tend to be the strongest.

I think this all started from Hope not being able to get her meds from the pharmacy. So, I mentioned that there is transportation available for people with disabilities (including mental health). This is an issue that a social worker can help with. They help with these types of living situations.

Well said.
My intention was to sort through how Hope might obtain financial assistance to ensure she could have much needed medications.

I'm a retired healthcare worker. It hurts me to see someone continually struggling with an issue such as obtaining meds and to NOT try to give a possible solution.
That's my issue that I will have to contain.

Hope, dont give up. You can figure this out.

Exactly. I think people get caught up in the desire to help which, whilst well meaning, is probably a replay of a dynamic which does not support Hope to move forward. The push/pull of help/reject help which we hear happens with your therapist, Hope. I wish you well. It is not easy and it is painful work, but you can do your best and I hear you trying to work it all out.

No one would be advising people re finances or cars randomly and for no reason.

For the longest time hope has been posting about being off meds and not doing well because of it (in relation to therapy among other things) and the reasons were not being able to afford them or not having a car to get them.

That’s why people suggest various ways to obtain meds so she doesn’t have to have such hard time.

If my husband skips one day off meds (occasionally special circumstances like snow storm hit and had to stay in a hotel after work unable to drive home etc ), he’d feel sick pretty quick. His OCD wouldn’t go crazy right away but he would feel sick physically unwell very quickly. And it’s occasional and low dose and never more than a day.

I can’t imagine person doing it more often and longer than a day. Hence suggestion how to remedy it. I arrange various services: vocational or medical or educational for people as a part of my job in real life. I don’t talk out of my you know what.

I understand if Hope doesn’t want suggestions how to make sure she has meds and she doesn’t have to follow anyone’s advice. No one has to follow anyone’s suggestions .but sometimes something might stick

I believe everyone wants hope to be healthy and well.

Delete. Sorry Hope I had a misunderstanding.

I think you are misunderstanding. Previously, the car needed repair and it had finally gotten done. Then, she had an accident in the car and now it needs more repairs. Two different incidents.

Oh okay. Thanks for clearing that up. And sorry Hope. I just want to see you get better and not suffer so much. I'll delete that post.

Yes, I realize that. Thing is, it usually seems like Hope has considered various ways to get meds and has a reason why they don't work for her. My guess is the barriers to getting meds and staying on them are not so much these practical issues and more psychological in nature.

She did mention that she didn't have a ride to pickup her meds. So that is something a social worker should be able to help her with.

But when the finances and the car get in the way of Hope being able to take care of herself then it makes sense for people to want to help. It isnt as simple as those things being unrelated to her current situation. If she is frequently going without medication because of her finances or because of her car situation and it is causing her to get into situations like this- then there is something she can actually do something about. Something she can actually work on so it DOESNT happen. People wanting to help her out of that hole seems like only a good thing.

What did your therapist say about BPD hope? Because thats what I really think this is. It isnt so much the medication, or the car, or the money- which is part of maybe why you are so resistant to suggestions about those things. If you keep putting yourself in situations where you dont have access to your medication then you can blame not having medication for your actions- actions which seem really textbook BPD.

I know you dont want to face a borderline diagnosis. But this splitting you do with people where they are all good, and then all bad. Where you are texting them constantly and then shutting them out. Where you are unable to control your impulses and are damaging your relationships. It seems like its a continuing pattern. And it seems painful. And it doesnt seem like its going to change until you do some reflection about it. Because you seem to do a lot of flitting from one feeling to the next- maybe sitting back and thinking about WHY you are feeling this thing or that thing might make some sense?

The psychiatrist that Hope has diagnosed her with BPD awhile back. She got upset with him, and those on this site that agreed with it.

You are right about the black and white thinking; there is impulsivity regarding contacting the office so often and changing appointments so often; I think she mentioned self harm; issues of attachment, etc.

I am sorry Hope about having to mention all of this. But, you are not your diagnosis. You are still a good person.

A BPD diagnosis doesn't have to be permanent. But, it does take a lot of work to get through it.

As far as social service issues, I would still suggest that you get a social worker to help with some of your issues like transportation. It couldn't hurt.