Couch 212: The French Vanilla couch

The 7th is my favorite of his symphonies

I'm not sure how it's going to work for Belly Dancing, either!

15 Broadway Plays and Musicals You Can Watch On Stage From Home | Playbill

sorry so long. it is a crazy situation but it will be ending it is just hard .
so a therapy update . she called me wed night around 9 to cancel for thursday saying she was feeling sick . i was so happy and relieved. i was so looking forward to a great day without stress about this. i was relaxing and crafting thursday morning ,preparing for a class i had that evening then i got the call. she called me saying she felt fine and was looking foward to seeing me at our regular time . i didnt answer the phone because i just couldnt deal with talking to her . my mood instantly changed . no longer relaxed. everything is now rushed because i needed to prepare for my class quicker now that i had less time to do it in ,my stress level tripled ,i was angry and not wanting to see her .but not being able to say no. because i didnt answer the phone she called again about 10 min later (call #2) i answered knowing she would just call until i talked to her .she told me she was feeling fine and so on and was looking forward to seeing me . through gritted teeth i confirmed i would see her at our usual time . now im rushed and angry .i decided to leave my house early and stop and get lunch and try to relax and not be so angry at her .she called me again on my cell(call #3) to confirm that she will be seeing me at our usual time that she was watching the news and was in a bit of a panic as to weather i was coming or not .i confirmed i was in fact going to see her . now i am raging and so furious at her . unnaturally so . had no idea what she was watching and what that had to do with meeting with me ,but i knew she was not having a good day. about a little less than an hour later and about 30 min before our meeting she called again,are you counting (call #4) to confirm that i will be there . at this point i am short of homicidal. i am feeling manipulated because i dont want to go and i am only going because she has made me feel this is suppose to be the right way to do this. im so angry. last session i had wanted to end it but she convinced me to see her through april. now i just want to quit and was ready to do this .
i show up so angry and ready to quit . she starts with asking me advice about how to introduce a new cat in the house with her older cat . she said because i was a cat person . after about 15 min of this i finely said that i did not was to spend my session time talking about my cats .she agreed and that was when i just kind of let her have it .i told her we needed to stop this and that i didnt see anything therapeutic at all about her making me do this .i told her i was angry and bitter and feeling very ragefull about having to come there. im so stressed about it . im feeling manipulated and that none of this is for me but for her etc... i told her that i cant handle the anxiety of doing this untill the end of april.
through all HER tears she said that she could change etc.. that she has to take ownership of the fact that she is having a hard time with me leaving and that she needs the time to say goodbye to me . this is not my problem i hate having to pay out of pocket for her to deal with her issues around me leaving . i was so angry i asked her just how long does she need to say goodbye to me that i just cant keep doing this . im trying not to just say that she is loosing her mind and all the complications with this are what is stressing me out . no need for 4 calls before session and this was just thursday .she had also called after session last thursday and also in friday to apologize over some silly thing she was obsessing about . anyway back to this thursday. again she did a lot of crying and so on making me feel horrible .but i even told her that was not helping my stress level and was making me feel manipulated. she was like so what do you want to say bye and that is it !!! now i feel even more like **** because that is exactly what i want because coming to see her for 5 more session with her acting like this is my idea of torture. she doesnt see a problem with this .she doesnt think her behavior is a problem.she has 0 boundaries at this point. she is telling me how much she cares about me and how much she adores me . again i feel like crap because i dont feel the same about her . i didnt want to leave and have our last session with me feeling this way. so angry .i do want to have a good goodbye. i dont want to be bitter and angry at her .i agreed to see her not through april but will see her for two more times untill the end of march . this is how we left it .
i left and went to the class i was teaching and you guessed it if you are still counting (call # 5) i didnt answer so she left me a voice mail saying she felt the need to share some personal information .telling me she has cataract and needs surgery but doc wont do it until it gets worse .and that she has a hard time seeing and wanted me to know she doesnt forget things on purpose. how her forgetting things has anything to do with her eyes i dont know ,but in her next sentence she said she was looking foward to sticking to our plan and meeting through APRIL!!!! did she not just say she was willing to change and that we had spent most of the session discussing my not coming back and agreeing to 2 more sessions for her to be able to say goodbye . this is why im stressed she is back to thinking im coming until the end of april cuz she doesnt remember most of our session .OMG the anxiety and stress caused by her . she said the last thing she wants to do is be the one hurting me and causing me pain and stress. but BTW we are meeting through april right ..AHHHHHHHH

Seth Rudetsky is doing a Stars in the House mini performance series that also seemed to crash in the format they chose. I watch a lot of opera on youtube but wanted to see this version of Carmen. It is very popular and it is not surprising their servers were slammed. I hope to try to get it late tonight. - We have been going and watching the AMC Met Live performances that they broadcast around the world on set Saturdays throughout their season and it has been great fun to watch.

Granite - just block her number and do not go back. You can set a firm boundary and follow through.

i so did not want to do this but she may give me no choice. i wanted to be able to say goodbye and still allow her to have some dignity but again she may not allow this . it is sad because i do care about her but it is time for her to stop but she can not see this

It really sounds like your therapist has some form of dementia going on. My father, who had Alzheimer's, and who I had seen cry once in my life when his mother died, turned into a really emotional crier towards the end. He forgot things you just said to him. Repeated things constantly. I know you're angry at your therapist, but I can't help but feel a bit sorry for her. I'm also really sorry that you're having to deal with it. It sounds like she shouldn't be allowed to practice therapy anymore. Can you make a report to her board? She's not your responsibility at this point. Her family, and I hope she has some, should be stepping up at this point and encouraging her to stop seeing clients. Or I'm just projecting my own experience onto this and she's always been like this.

this is definitely the case but she will not accept it at all .the crying in almost every session and the not remembering etc... but gets very defensive if i mention her remembering . she no longer has an office or works in the clinic i see her at her house and she has no one supervising her .i am seeing a temp therapist who is helping me through this but it is still so hard

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm taking sides with your therapist. It's just heartbreaking when people go through this and I guess my father's decline and death is still a bit fresh for me. There should be safeguards in place in the profession to prevent this from happening. Do you use insurance? What if you report her to your insurance?

Ya know, the miserable you only exists because you answer the phone. Its like, its her creation, her frankenstein monster. But you dont demand-create anything of her.

In my dbt course, we had one session where we just went around the room a couple of times, practicing saying "no" out loud each on their own. The first round, my no barely squeeked out. So, no more sessions, girl. No. Thank you. Thats all you owe her.

Oh, good. My wife is threatening to make me watch La Fille Du Régiment again, so maybe technical difficulties will thwart her.

I am not a huge Donizetti fan - but Carmen is streaming just fine right now - so if you go after the first showing has ended - it seems fine. They are available for 18 hours or so. IT is also possible some of tonight's challenges were due to the popularity of Carmen and may not be there for Fille.

NP, thank you for sharing your insights, even tho it was painful to do. The similarities are striking to me. You are right, it is like there is no one in charge there.

I'm working a 16 hour shift today thanks to COVID-19. I'm going to be exhausted tonight (plus I only slept 4 hours)

We have a limit of 1 packet of rice, pasta and oats at the supermarket. The man ahead of me had 4 packs when the lady explained and took 3 away he said would you minfpd explaining yo my children why they cant have spaghetti bolognese

They closed a lot of things yesterday here. Restaurants, shops, places like hairdressers. Grocery stores, pharmacies, banks, hotels and hospitals are still open. Offices where you don't have contact with customers are encouraged to offer work from home. Lots of empty places, though I see a lot of people going grocery shopping from my window. Apparently offering a lot of mobile or drive-through testing already as well. They are also mobilizing the most amount of soldiers since world war 2.
Kind of glad I decided to stay home for the past couple of weeks, now I'm not panicking as much about what's currently going on...

Hugs to everyone who wants them.

Thanks @LonesomeTonight I didn't tell him. I did tell him that I have been dealing with perhaps some paranoia and delusions but it is hard for me to tell if that is in fact what they are or if it is real. He wanted me to talk about them but I was like I don't know if I should. He didn't press me but he asked me to talk to regular T about them, which I will, assuming I am still seeing her on Saturday (Covid-19). So far she hasn't cancelled but as she is older and in that at risk age group I'm not sure if she will cancel or not. I have a feeling she won't unless she is sick.

I feel a bit of your pain, as of today we are on 12 hour shifts the rest of this week through Saturday because of COVID and next week mandatory 10 hour days including one weekend day.


I don't think I could do a 16 hour day. And I hope I don't have to find out.

About to give second Zoom class of the day, so of course the gardeners are here making noise (the garden is right below my apartment windows). I have no idea why they are even working today.

New cat elected not to appear on screen for the first class. She chose instead to lie behind the screen and lash her tail against it, creating THUDs the students could hear.

ETA: Zooming with Info tomorrow. I may not be able to give a fashion report depending on how much of her I can see.

Thankful for break time. Just before my break we were advised that in addition to the 6 12 hour day weeks we now have to somehow take calls while working messages starting Thursday. I can't do this. I am going to call my old pdoc and see about getting anxiety meds.

My work is trying to figure out how I can work from home if it comes to that. So I have to try a program tonight to see if it works. I just hope I can continue working from the office being that we are all pretty isolated anyway. Maybe two people have come into my office all day.

I tried to resist, but have to ask: ?

New cat did herself one better in the second Zoom session. She stood behind the screen with her back to it and lashed her tail in front of the webcam. I don't know if they noticed it.